there's been a deep underlying message in all my blogs for the past few months...an undercurrent in my psyche, and one that's the stream of thought in most of those weekly blogs...i've been pleading to her, though i've not met her yet. pleading to meet her, though i already know her. hoping beyond hope and not stopping in believing she's real and looking for me, feeling the same way i am, she's on a divergent path to discover me...
in the labour day blog of "togetherness" back in september, these were my words:
"i'm all alone yet still together with a lady who is out there somewhere. we've yet to cross paths in this world, but i know she is real. her and i think alike and are looking for the same things together. i feel her in my heart, and my soul desperately longs to connect with hers. she lives each of her life's moments fully and looks past none of them. she's artistic and free. her spirit dances with the milky way each night. she hopes, she dreams. she loves. she feels the same way about me and breathes my name into her lungs, though she has not met me in this life yet. she longs to be together with me one day...she exists, i just need to look into her eyes anew and know that i've always known her...i hope one day comes soon, that one day when our eyes connect deeply with each other and she asks me: fly away with me, and let's never look back, and i respond to her: of course, if you are a bird, i 'm a bird...and we take off and fly together to a happily ever after of togetherness...i know she's out there somewhere, these words are for her: i know you exist. i know you are walking this planet somewhere looking for me too, and one day we will meet, and we will share countless breathless moments of 'oh my god' together"... i can't wait until i finally find her, and she finds me and says, 'oh it's you!'. and we can transform into the feathers covering each others wings and fly away into our colorful sunset together...that's our life's treasure, better together...and when her and i finally reconnect together only knowing one thing, that something of this certainty comes but once in a lifetime, we will dance and laugh and play together under the stars, and sing this song together without the need for words all night long"
though she has yet to arrive, i know the day will come, i have deep faith in her finally finding me, and as soon as i see her, that first look will be all it takes. one look and love will fill my body with such a powerful energy. an energy that brings the long lost smile back to my face, and fills my heart with happiness unimaginable. a peaceful calming rush of pure love, that's still yet eternally there inside me, but needs her yet to make it flow completely...
a feeling such as this cannot be explained or described, it can only be felt. it can only be known. and if you feel it now, and know its energy pulsing through your body, you are one of the lucky ones. and you know what i continue to long for...a life full of kisses, and holding hands, and giggles, and smiles, and words without speaking, the first thing every morning and the last thing every night...
yet i find myself here, i'm all alone, yet still together with a lady who is out there somewhere. we've yet to cross paths in this world, but i know she is real. her and i think alike and are looking for the same things together. i feel her in my heart, and my soul desperately longs to connect with hers...
though i long for my love to find me yet, my new year's resolution is simple: i will breathe and love...and i will be grateful for each breath i get, and make each moment count as much as i possibly can, for tomorrow is not guaranteed, this is all we get, right here and now, waste none of it, breathe and love....[a big sign with a deep breath and exhale]
"if there is a love story you want to read, but it has not been written yet, then you must write it yourself" ― bodhinku, yet
++(((this favourite poem of mine is for her, i know she is out there...this is to the lady of my dreams, directly from my heart to hers)))++
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart) " ― e. e. cummings
this beautiful love song fits in with my blog today with how i've been reflecting on my 2021 at the end of this year, along with how i've been feeling lately about all of the ladies i've known and loved, yet knew that they were not the one (including those this year). i shared and spent lovely time with them, deep emotional moments, until things had to end because of me knowing deep down inside that they were just not "the one". and with no regrets, i always move onward in my hopes of finally finding her...this from an unlikely duet, paired beautifully together even though they have super different backgrounds and musical genres, recorded in 1984: "to all the girls i've loved before" by willie nelson and julio iglesias ... (just click on any of the words in the blue links to listen to the musical selection)....
"to all the girls i've loved before who traveled in and out my door. i'm glad they came along, i dedicate this song to all the girls i've loved before...to all the girls i once caressed. and may i say, i've held the best for helping me to grow. i owe a lot, i know, to all the girls i've loved before...the winds of change are always blowing and every time i tried to stay, the winds of change continued blowing. and they just carried me away...to all the girls who shared my life, who now are someone else's wives. i'm glad they came along, i dedicate this song to all the girls i've loved before...to all the girls who cared for me, who filled my nights with ecstasy. they live within my heart, i'll always be a part of all the girls i've loved before...the winds of change are always blowing and every time i tried to stay, the winds of change continued blowing and they just carried me away...to all the girls we've loved before, who traveled in and out our door. we're glad they came along. we dedicate this song to all the girls we've loved before. to all the girls we've loved before who traveled in and out our doors. we're glad they came along, we dedicate this song to all the girls we've loved before" ― willie nelson & julio iglesias, all the girls i've loved before