Vanilla Twilight by Bodhi Smith

"vanilla twilight" my brand new impression and blog ...
 
"i love the vanilla twilight like this, when the sun is just below the horizon and it is neither totally dark or light out. the sky glows so beautifully, and i can only imagine how the light would illuminate her face and radiate the love in her eyes. and we'd stroll down the beach hand-in-hand, speaking without words, not needing to say anything, not having a care in the world except fully living in this moment of time just before the sun rises" ― bodhinku, vanilla twilight
 
"seeking her face in all things i find her
in the mundane things
in the extraordinary things
her face manifests in love that surrounds
it's everywhere
it's in the eye of the beholder" 
 
"we are the early morning ocean filled with glints of light. we are the space between the fish and the moon, while we sit here together" ― jalaluddin rumi, the music and silence of the heart
 
"twilight is the border between day and night, and the shore is the border between sea and land. the border is longing: when both have fallen in love but still haven't said anything. the border is to be on the way. it is the way that is the most important thing" ― tove jansson
 
"i crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
silent and starving, i prowl through the streets.
bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
i hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.

i hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
i want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

i want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
i want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

and i pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
like a puma in the barrens of quitratue" 
 
"the stars lean down to kiss you, and i lie awake and miss you. pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere. because i'll doze off safe and soundly, but i'll miss your arms around me. i'd send a postcard to you, dear, because i wish you were here" ― owl city, vanilla twilight
 
"i'll watch the night turn light blue, but it's not the same without you. because it takes two to whisper quietly. the silence isn't so bad, until i look at my hands and feel sad, because the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly" ― owl city, vanilla twilight
 
"i'll find repose in new ways, though i haven't slept in two days. because cold nostalgia chills me to the bone. but drenched in vanilla twilight, i'll sit on the front porch all night waist deep in thought because when i think of you i don't feel so alone" ― owl city, vanilla twilight
 
"mother, mother ocean, i have heard you call. wanted to sail upon your waters since i was three feet tall. you've seen it all, you've seen it all. watched the men who rode you switch from sails to steam. and in your belly, you hold the treasures few have ever seen. most of them dream, most of them dream...yes i am a pirate, two hundred years too late. the cannons don't thunder, there's nothing to plunder. i'm an over-forty victim of fate, arriving too late, arriving too late" ― jimmy buffett, a pirate looks at forty 
 
"at the twilight, a moon appeared in the sky;
then it landed on earth to look at me.
like a hawk stealing a bird at the time of prey;
that moon stole me and rushed back into the sky.
i looked at myself, I did not see me anymore;
for in that moon, my body turned as fine as soul.
the nine spheres disappeared in that moon;
the ship of my existence drowned in that sea." 
 
"loving the vanilla twilight,
sun's just below the horizon, .
neither totally dark,
nor totally light,
glowing sky is magic
transcending life...
imagining the light 
illuminating her face
radiating the love 
sparkling in her eyes... 
strolling down the beach 
holding hand-in-hand, 
speaking without words, 
needing to say nothing, 
having not a care in the world 
knowing without knowing,
living fully in this moment,
rising fully with the sun,
connecting fully as one" 
----------------------
 
MEANING
"in-between the darkness and the light, neither completely light nor dark. this is where i live as a photographer. this is where i live as a lover. this is where i'm happiest and where i belong. its glowing light makes my heart beat and illuminates my soul" ― bodhinku, vanilla twilight 
 
merriam-webster defines the word "vanilla" as:
1. a flavoring extracted from vanilla beans used in creams and foods
2. lacking distinction; plain, unexciting, ordinary, conventional
 
merriam-webster defines the word "twilight" as:
1. the soft glowing light from the sky when the sun is below the horizon, a short time before sunrise and after sunset, produced by the refraction and diffusion of the sun's rays through the atmosphere and it's dust
2.  an intermediate state that is not clearly defined

this is another one of my impressions from my trip to florida during last year's spring break, and you can obviously see and feel the glowing twilight as the moon is setting and the sun is about to rise for the day...it's really vanilla twilight...
 
i love the vanilla twilight like this, when the sun is just below the horizon and it is neither totally dark or light out. the sky glows so beautifully, and i can only imagine how the light would illuminate her face and radiate the love in her eyes. and we'd stroll down the beach hand-in-hand, speaking without words, not needing to say anything, not having a care in the world except fully living in this moment of time just before the sun rises...  
 
but it's the other definitions of vanilla and twilight that really applies to me in a more profound way "an intermediate state that is not clearly defined" and "lacking distinction; plain, unexciting, ordinary"...my life feels this way. i'm waiting to share my world with her, waiting for her to join me. i miss her and i know she misses me too. my life could be so much richer and full of distinction...
 
i want to be so in-focus that i'm able to clearly define my state of mind as being "totally in love with her." instead of how i currently find myself, being in a blurry state that's foggy where i'm lost in confusion as to when she'll be here for me; when there'll be an end to my longing for her and i ultimately stop missing her so dearly. because, then my one day with her will be here finally, and we'll begin living our happily ever after...
 
and then there is the idea of vanilla...even though it's sometimes plain and unexciting, i love all things vanilla. i just don't care at all for the bittersweet taste of chocolate--yeah, i hate chocolate, so i'm forever cast off as a total weirdo because the other 99% of people in this world adore chocolate and wonder how can anyone possible not love chocolate? ...but my life seems vanilla most of the time, plain and unexciting, especially so when i'm not away on a trip or off in the wilderness somewhere in an adventure with my doggie...
 
i'm just in a funk lately, i really wish i had that other person in my life with whom to share all things romantic, add the spice and super-sweetness to my life again, get me out of this state of mind that feels like i'm in limbo, neither here nor there...
 
because when she's here, i'll be in a clearly defined state focused only on love. i know there'll be no possibility of ever describing my life as vanilla anymore, there will never be any ordinary moment. everything evermore will be rich, sweet, happy, and beautiful...a glowing twilight of rapture, and we will be the luckiest two alive...
 
"i'm lucky, so is she. we've finally found each other, and now everyday will be nourished with glowing love from the twilight flowing between our hungry souls" ― bodhinku, vanilla twilight   
(^^one day soon i know i'll finally be able to say these words out loud^^)
 
and here is the perfect tune to listen to as you read this new blog of mine today, this is such a powerful song in message and meaning, about missing the one that you love and connecting with them in thoughts and memories, such beautiful lyrics and vocals, plus it carries the same exact title as my image here today... "vanilla twilight by owl city(just click on the song title, any of the words in powder blue, it's a link to the lyric video) 
 
"the stars lean down to kiss you, and i lie awake and miss you. pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere. because i'll doze off safe and soundly, but i'll miss your arms around me. i'd send a postcard to you, dear, because i wish you were here...i'll watch the night turn light blue, but it's not the same without you. because it takes two to whisper quietly. the silence isn't so bad, until i look at my hands and feel sad, because the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly...i'll find repose in new ways, though i haven't slept in two days. because cold nostalgia chills me to the bone. but drenched in vanilla twilight, i'll sit on the front porch all night waist deep in thought because when i think of you i don't feel so alone. i don't feel so alone, i don't feel so alone...as many times as i blink, i'll think of you tonight (tonight, tonight, tonight...) i'll think of you tonight. when violet eyes get brighter, and heavy wings grow lighter, i'll taste the sky and feel alive again. and i'll forget the world that i knew. but i swear i won't forget you. oh if my voice could reach back through the past, i'd whisper in your ear: oh darling, i wish you were here" ― owl city, vanilla twilight
 
"there was a boy, that boy with the real love letters written in his name...he was meant to be loved. so, there was this girl...she was meant to be loved. that girl who travelled the world to find that boy with the love letters written in his name. she knew she would give him the love that no one else knew how to give. she would love him for all the people who've withdrawn that love from him. inside, he was that little boy just wanting to be loved for who he truly was. she saw him. the real him...the real little boy with sparkling blue eyes filled with excitement and love, she recognized him immediately. he was the one who wrote the love letters in his name. he was the one who wrote those letters upon the stars of her soul before she was born. they were reunited across his universe. across her universe, their souls are filled with love, together they are love. that boy and this girl, their names now together. they are nirvana in their glowing vanilla twilight" ― bodhinku, the gift of eternal love 
----------------------
 
MORE QUOTES FOR EXTRA MEANING
perfectly the best song to accompany my impression today is one favorite tunes ever written and sang, so if you only open up and listen to one tune in today's blog, then it should definitely be this tune...the lyrics written by jimmy buffett hold so much inspiring meaning for me and the song is such a beautiful fit for my impression and the profound essence of the deeper message in my blog today...this song i would like you to give a good ear and listen to is  "a pirate looks at forty" by jimmy buffett (original version) ... and i just cannot fathom this song is close to 50 years old being first released was back in 1974...
 
if you would like to listen to an updated version of this most excellent jimmy buffett song, here's a version that's a supper wonderful cover by jack johnson, recorded in 2012... "a pirate at forty" by jack johnson (jimmy buffett cover) ... (just click on any of words in the blue links to listen to the song)...  

"mother, mother ocean, i have heard you call. wanted to sail upon your waters since i was three feet tall. you've seen it all, you've seen it all. watched the men who rode you switch from sails to steam. and in your belly, you hold the treasures few have ever seen. most of them dream, most of them dream...yes i am a pirate, two hundred years too late. the cannons don't thunder, there's nothing to plunder. i'm an over-forty victim of fate, arriving too late, arriving too late...i've done a bit of smuggling, i've run my share of grass. i made enough money to buy miami, but i pissed it away so fast. never meant to last, never meant to last...and i've been drunk now for over two weeks. i passed out, and i rallied, and i sprung a few leaks. but i got stop wishing, got to go fishing, down to rock bottom again. just a few friends, just a few friends...i go for younger women, lived with several a while. though i ran them away, they'd come back one day, still could manage to smile. just takes a while, just takes a while...mother, mother ocean, after all the years i've found: my occupational hazard being, my occupation's just not around. i feel like i've drowned, gonna head uptown. i feel like i've drowned, gonna head uptown..." 
― jimmy buffett, a pirate looks at forty 
  
"we have flown the air like birds and swum the sea like fishes, but have yet to learn the simple act of walking the earth like brothers" ― martin luther king, jr., strength to love 

"i’m not asking you to wait for me. live your life fully until i'm able to catch up and live it by your side. choose to celebrate each day and make the most of each moment. embrace the wild creativity that flows in your veins, laugh out loud at all the silly things that tickle you and go on tons of adventures. i want to hear all about them when i find you and we are on the path to forging new ones. until then, i'll be loving you from afar and knowing in my heart that one day, i'll be able to choose to live that life with you fully...i know we get what we are ready for, and i’m not ready for you yet. if i’m not by your side right now it means i've dove deeper in my own seas, so i can dive endlessly into yours one day soon...don't give up on me, my love. i'll see you soon" 
― c. ara campbell
 
"in those joyless moments when loving yourself feels impossible, close your eyes, visualize your arms extending forward through time, and gently embrace the person you could be" ― beau taplin, remedy 
 
"art goes beyond: it is a golden bridge. it bridges the object with the subject. but then everything becomes chaos...of course, very creative; in fact, there is no creativity if there is no chaos. but everything becomes indiscriminate; divisions disappear. i would like to say it in this way, art is a twilight approach, just in the middle. the day is no longer there, the brightness of the noon has gone; things are not so distinct, clear. the night has not yet come; the darkness has not enveloped all. darkness and day meet, there is a soft grayness, neither white nor black, boundaries meeting and merging, everything indiscriminate, everything is everything else" ― osho, zen: the path of paradox
 
"it was finally becoming clear to her that love wasn't about finding someone perfect to marry. love was about seeing through to the truth of a person, and accepting all their shades of light and dark. love was an ability" ― lisa kleypas, tempt me at twilight
 
"mine was the twilight of the morning. mine was a world of rooftops and love songs" ― roman payne, rooftop soliloquy
 
"wouldn’t you still have your childhood, that jewel beyond all price, that treasure house of memories? turn your attention to it. try to raise up the sunken feelings of this enormous past; your personality will grow stronger, your solitude will expand and become a place where you can live in the twilight, where the noise of other people passes by, far in the distance...and if out of this turning-within, out of this immersion in your own world, poems come, then you will not think of asking anyone whether they are good or not. nor will you try to interest magazines in these works: for you will see them as your dear natural possession, a piece of your life, a voice from it. a work of art is good if it has arisen out of necessity. that is the only way one can judge it." ― rainer maria rilke  
 
"but especially he loved to run in the dim twilight of the summer midnights, listening to the subdued and sleepy murmurs of the night, and seeking for the mysterious something that called...called, waking or sleeping, at all times, for him to come" ― jack london, the call of the wild
 
"she was a phantom of delight
when first she gleam'd upon my sight;
a lovely apparition, sent
to be a moment's ornament:
her eyes as stars of twilight fair;
like twilight's, too, her dusky hair;
but all things else about her drawn
from may-time and the cheerful dawn;
a dancing shape, an image gay,
to haunt, to startle, and waylay." 
 
"my chest feels full of glitter and helium, the way it used to when i was little and riding my father's shoulders at twilight, when i knew that if i held up my hands and spread my fingers like a net, i could catch the coming stars" ― jodi picoult, my sister's keeper
 
"wire blier, limber lock, 
three geese in a flock
one flew east, one flew west
one flew over the cuckoo’s nest" 
 
"to know that seeing the shapes beneath the surface of the water was enough. that it was everything. it was my life...like all lives, mysterious and irrevocable and sacred. so very close, so very present, so very belonging to me. how wild it was, to let it be" ― cheryl strayed, wild
 
"i wear the universe backwards. i imagine putting stars in my coffee, and sugar in the sky. i imagine going fishing in clouds, and watching the sun hide behind lakes. i'm too busy dancing with my imagination to even tip toe with reality for a second" ― d. antoinette foy
 
"i cannot be your quiet little ray of sun. i have volcanoes in me. i have twilights playfully cavorting. i have springs and autumns boldly echoing my senses. and i have roaring waves crashing upon the sands of my spirit" ― cheri bauer
 
"i've always understood that my heart is multilingual. it speaks in whispers, expressions, colours, body, songs, and fervent desire" ― cheri bauer
 
"you must find someone who will tremble for your touch, someone whose fingers are a poem" ― janet fitch, white oleander
 
"in the ocean are many bright strands and many dark strands like veins that are seen when a wing is lifted up. your hidden self is blood in those, those veins that are lute strings that make ocean music, not the sad edge of surf, but the sound of no shore" ― jalaluddin rumi, the essential rumi
 
"are you jealous of the ocean’s generosity? why would you refuse to give this joy to anyone? fish don’t hold the sacred liquid in cups! they swim the huge fluid freedom" ― jalaluddin rumi, the soul of rumi
 
"i am a fish. you are the moon. you cannot touch me, but your light can fill the ocean where i live" ― jalaluddin rumi, whispers of the beloved   
 
"have you ever seen any lover who was satiated with this passion? have you ever seen any fish that had become satiated with this sea? in separation, the lover is like a name empty of meaning; but a meaning such as belovedness has no need of names. you are the sea, i am a fish—hold me as you desire; show compassion, exercise kingly power—without you, i remain alone. without you, the world is a torment; may it not be without you for a single instant; by your life i implore this, for life without you is a torture and an agony to me" ― jalaluddin rumi, poems of ecstasy and longing
----------------------
 
ABOUT THE IMPRESSION
"when she's here, i'll be in a clearly defined state focused only on love. i know there'll be no possibility of ever describing my life as vanilla anymore, there will never be any ordinary moment. everything evermore will be rich, sweet, happy, and beautiful...a glowing twilight of rapture " ― bodhinku, vanilla twilight     
 
captured about 22 mins before sunrise with the almost full moon setting above the pier in naples, florida at 6:58am on march 30, 2021...this composition is comprised of one quasi-long exposure (f/22 @33mm for 1 second, iso-64) with a shorter exposure of the moon and the bird blended into the frame  (f/2.8 @66mm for 1/100 second, iso 64)
 
in my photography, i always use filters to create longer exposure effects, saturate colors naturally, and balance the light in my composition in-camera...i often use as many as four filters at time, and i always use at least one filter in my completed impressions...
 
for this exposure, to get the effects and balance i was looking for, i used two progreyusa filters in the capture of this composition, a 1.6 nd progrey antarctica filter to bring the light in the image down 6 stops to create this dreamy effect with a slight motion blur of the waves, ocean water and clouds and naturally saturate all the teals, and pinks in the image...combining that filter with a 0.9 gnd progrey aurora filter to help balance in-camera overall the image the way i envisioned it...in this case, to stop down the extremely bright moon light in the sky and clouds at the top of the image an extra three stops and help permit details in the shadows under the pier come out better in the exposure...
 
i also used the progrey g-120z magnetic holder to hold the filters and secure them to my nikon d850 with a nikon nikkor 24-70mm f/2.8... 
 
i wish to openly thank my sponsors who have always supported me through both the good and bad times...for truly this long exposure impression would not be possible without the use of my induro phq3 series 5-way panhead with the induro (now benro) stealth carbon fiber tripod in combination with the progreyusa filters which i use with every photo i take...
 
"you were blessed with 84,600 seconds today, have you used one of them to say thank you?" ― bodhinku, blessed
 
"if nothing else...if i open my eyes, if i hope, if i cry, if i think, if i sigh, if i giggle, if i dance, if i love, if i breathe, then i have lived a full days worth of life...nothing is wasted, nothing" ― bodhinku, if nothing else
 
"i do not want you to just be into my photography, instead, i'd much rather you take a journey into my pictures, and feel the impression i have created, feel it with all your senses" ― bodhinku, into my photography
 
"my photography is my way of keeping a diary" ― bodhinku, my diary 
 
"contemplate without thinking. be certain only in your uncertainty, content to be completely incomplete. stop the rush. slow down time. breathe and notice. slow down everything. let it all be. shut off the noise. hush. relax. seize this higher moment. reconnect. feel and sense what surrounds you. listen to all the colours of light whisper as they envelope you. see the melody and harmony that float about unnoticed. taste the solitude of all this wonderment. smell the beautiful silence. now discover your peaceful serenity. then, reach out and touch your faith with all your senses. this is my world. awaken!" ― bodhinku, my world
 
i leave you today wishing that bright joy
and spiritual peace fill your life...
imploring you to make every moment count,
no matter what, always and forever, f
or that is the only thing that truly matters...    
 
and above all else,
i hope this message and impression find you well.
namaste,
bodhi
-------------------------------------------------
 
please visit me at:
 
#inspiration #florida #vanilla #twilight #progreyusa #benro #nikon #d810 #dolica #lowepro #naples #pier #bird #teal #wave #ocean #moon #morning #glow #believe #dream #faith #namaste #impressionist #bodhinku #rumi