Survivor by Bodhi Smith

Jan 28, 2022

"survivor" a brand new impression and blog from me...
 
"i'm a survivor for her...i survive through lonely nights and mornings, going to bed with out her, waking up missing her. i survive eating alone, watching movies by myself. i survive through tough lessons of fake people. i survive all the hurt and pain. i survive each tear of frustration walking on the beach with only my shadow and my doggie beside me. i survive the loneliness. i'm a survivor for her." ― bodhinku, survivor
 
"when she finally finds me and i look into her eyes, i'll know i've always known her. at that moment, i will be a survivor of all these dark times i'm now living" ― bodhinku, survivor
 
"people get over love. they can live without it, they can move on. love can be lost and found again. but that won't happen for me. i won't survive without her" ― sylvia day, reflected in you
 
"you are a survivor. but the trouble is, you think you have time...nothing is forever except change" ― gautama siddhartha buddha (modified by bodhinku)
 
"my mission in life is not merely to be a survivor, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style...surviving is important. thriving is elegant" ― maya angelou
 
"sometimes, one must break with one's past to embrace one's future. it's never an easy thing to do. it's one of the distinguishing characteristics between survivors and victims. letting go of what was, to survive what is" ― karen marie moning, darkfever
 
"if you learn to really sit with loneliness and embrace it for the gift that it is…an opportunity to get to know yourself, to learn how much of a survivor you really are, to depend on no one but you for your happiness…you will realize that a little loneliness goes a l-o-n-g way in creating a richer, deeper, more vibrant and stronger you" ― mandy hale, the single woman: life, love, and a dash of sass
 
"weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire? did you think i'd crumble? did you think i'd lay down and die? oh not i. i will survive. yeah, as long as i know how to love, i know i'll be alive. i've got all my life to live. i've got all my love to give. i will survive, i will survive" ― cake, i will survive (gloria gaynor cover) 
 
"it's so hard to be a survivor and walk away from someone who came into our life like a dream that's too good to be true, but turned out to be the nightmare we wished wasn't real" ― bodhinku, survivor
 
"wisdom is the reward for surviving our own stupidity" ― brian rathbone, regent
 
"but...as bad as it was, i learned something about myself. that i could go through something like that and survive. i mean, i know it could have been worse, a lot worse...but for me, it was all i could have handled at the time. and i learned from it" ― nicholas sparks, dear john
 
"it is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive, but instead those who can best manage change" ― charles darwin
 
"i need to write about love. i need to think and think and write about love, otherwise, my soul won’t survive" ― paulo coelho, eleven minutes  
 
"all art is a kind of confession, more or less oblique. all artists, if they are to survive, are forced, at last, to tell the whole story; to vomit the anguish up" ― james baldwin
 
this song is the newest 2022 release from nathaniel ratliff, and the tune has been steadily climbing up the alternative charts...its message is about strength and doubt mixed with surviving through trouble in life...this song is named the same as my impression today, and with its wonderfully beautiful lyrics, it is the perfect accompaniment to connect music with the meaning of my impression and blog today: "survivor" by nathaniel rateliff and the nightsweats ... (just click on any of the words in the powder blue links to listen to the musical selection)....

"well, you just think that i'm some great survivor. and you just build upon the light to carry you. well, i don't even talk that way. see, i wanted you to stay and show you the world's a better place. and as we crawl to find our way, we even take the shape of something else...you think that i'm just some great survivor. you think that i'm just some great survivor...i'm afraid that the weight of the world is catching up with you. i'm afraid to admit that it's catching up to me too. well, you just think that i'm some great survivor. and you just feed upon fear you created. some people ought to see, some people ought to hear, hear. some people ought to see, some people ought to hear. well, if it's gonna be that way, then the crowd that calls your name can cast me out. you think that i'm just some great survivor. you think that i'm just some great survivor. i'm afraid that the weight of the world is catching up with you. i'm afraid to admit that it's catching up to me too. does the weight continue to grow until it burries you?...you think that i'm just some great survivor. you think that i'm just some great survivor. you think that i'm just some great survivor...you think that i'm just, some great survivor" ― nathaniel rateliff, survivor  
 
"i will survive through these periods when i question my existence and think too much, listening to all the noise that comes and goes, instead of hearing the beautiful music that's always there surrounding me. i will listen to the example of this beautiful tree. i will cut out the noise and instead listen to the beautiful music" ― bodhinku, survivor
 
"this elegant tree loses all of its beautiful colors. it will let them go. having lost their usefulness, all its leaves will fall off, dropping one by one, and float away down the river. the tree becomes stripped bare, exposing its core. and there it will stand for a time, naked and alone, surviving the winter, waiting for the spring to give it new life, new leaves, a new start. become a new survivor...a great metaphor in life" ― bodhinku, survivor  
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MEANING
"listen 
to the leaf;
it lets go 
falls slowly down. 
listen 
it lands softly in 
the stillness of 
the river below. 
listen
it says, "i let go" 
listen 
it silently floats away 
to its next chapter. 
listen 
to the lesson 
of the leaf" ― bodhinku, listen to the leaf
 
"just as a leaf knows it's time, it embraces change as it fearlessly lets go of the safety of the tree, falling and dancing to where it needs to be...such a beautiful metaphor for all of us...just let go, dance, and fall in love with life's changes, survive and live on..." ― bodhinku, survivor
 
"survivor" is defined by merriam-webster as:
1. a person remaining alive after an event in which others have died
2. a person who copes well with difficulties in their life
 
but remember that the word "survivor" has many different emotional feelings depending on the person...how i feel about the word is much different than my own father's feelings (he's a veteran of two vietnam tours), or a teenager in a car collision caused by a drunk driver where he saw two of his best friends die, or a woman whose young son has passed away, or a child left abandoned at a rest stop in 1988, or a daughter who is sexually assaulted by her own father, or a man who just buried his wife of 50 years, or a small business owner trying to make due after covid19, or a person who has battled their cancer into remission, or a jewish boy living in germany in 1944...
 
we are all survivors of something in our life, something we made it through and something we can never forget, big or small...some are more traumatic and hard to overcome each day, others are less severe but not any less important in meaning to the "survivor"...and each of us who gets to take our next breath must be grateful and thankful for that opportunity to be a survivor, for breathing, and for having another day to enjoy living, to make every single moment count, no matter what, because there are no ordinary moments. we all need to live, and not just survive...
 
now, as for this tree in my picture today, i consider it a survivor (and a big reason for the title of this impression)...
 
i've returned to this spot many times now, during each of the seasons. it's a favourite location for me in southeastern oklahoma...it's unknown, remote, uncrowded, and off the beaten path of life. it's a place very close to my heart since it's very near to where my grandma was born in 1916. and like my grandma was, this cypress tree is such an eloquent beauty, and also a survivor of all the diversity thrown its way...
 
this tree is so stunning in every aspect. it's true poetry in form and medley. reflecting so regally in the still morning waters, like a graceful ballet dancer doing a delicate piroet. yet it's stubborn. it grows in the middle of the water, when it would have been so much easier to be like most of the other cypress along the riverbank instead...its reasoning? it's a survivor...
 
it's so gorgeous in the autumn with all its leaves so vibrant, on fire, and glowing. 
 
but this elegant tree loses all its beautiful colors. it will let them go. having lost their usefulness, all its leaves will fall off, dropping one by one, and float away down the river. the tree becomes stripped bare, exposing its core. and there it will stand for a time, naked and alone, surviving the winter, waiting for the spring to give it new life, new leaves, a new start...a new survivor...
 
"keep busy with survival. imitate the trees. learn to lose in order to recover, and remember that nothing stays the same for long, not even pain, psychic pain. sit it out. let it all pass. let it go" ― may sarton, journal of a solitude
 
we can learn so many lessons from the tree...live and be alive like the tree. breathe it all in as you listen to autumn speak to you, letting go of everything, letting your leaves fall down, floating in the flowing waters reflecting your life, and moments lived...letting the waters wash away all the superficial extras, cleansing you, ushering in a new beginning. but never forgetting all of the experiences you have survived...
 
because like the cypress tree, we must live with all the inevitable changes that happen to each of us...we survive what is thrown at us. we live on, we are survivors...
 
today i so strongly feel the example set for me by this tree. i understand. i only hope i can be as brave a survivor...
 
you see...i'm mostly alone these days, spending most of my moments in one of two places: either in front of a classroom, or behind my camera. and i'm mostly focused on those things. i'm happy and at peace...mostly...
 
i can see the time pass by me so fast and swiftly. nothing can stop it. it is inevitable, time passes. things change, and then they change even more...
 
i've recently lived through some quite beautiful times, but for various reasons needed to just let them go and let them be. i've also survived through rough times. trying times, moments full of uncertainty and unclarity. times testing me, judging my spirit, questioning my reserve. difficult times full of too many ugly experiences wasted in deception with selfish people, lost souls with egos too big to exist in my world, users not worthy of my love...but i survived them, i survived those times....
 
"in the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you" ― gautama siddhartha buddha
 
now i need to embrace my loneliness, perceive spending my time alone as a positive, not as a negative. i need to be patient and not push things. let it be. let everything flow freely. draw on my hope and dreams of her for strength. rely on my doggie besos, my best friend for love and companionship. let the seasons pass and weather the lonely storms. do not let myself turn cold and frigid, try to remain warm and make it through this long winter amidst where i find myself currently. and even though i'm all alone. stop pandering to the question, "why me?" and let new beginnings happen naturally...
 
"let it go. drop what is no longer of use. let it fall away from you, and let it all float away. let it be. stand there stripped bare of it all. now await your new beginning" ― bodhinku, let it go
 
i will survive through these periods when i question my existence and think too much, listening to all the noise that comes and goes, instead of hearing the beautiful music that's always there surrounding me. i'll listen to the example of this beautiful tree. i'll cut out the noise and instead to listen to the beautiful music...
 
because she is the music of my soul. through my visions of belief in her existence, i know my faith in her is true. she is real and i will find her and she will find me, i'm a survivor for her... i survive through lonely nights and mornings, going to bed with out her, waking up missing her. i survive eating alone, watching movies by myself. i survive through tough lessons of fake people. i survive all the hurt and pain. i survive each tear of frustration walking my doggie on the beach with only my shadow beside me. i survive the loneliness. i'm a survivor for her... 
 
she's the light in my darkness, the colour in my black and white. she's the straw in my berry, the song in my heart. she's my dream girl, all i need in my life. i will survive through everything to be with her...one day she will simply say to me, "my favorite color is you, my favorite music is your heartbeat" and that'll be all i need to know, as she smiles and gives me the hug that lasts the rest of my life...
 
so when she finally finds me and i look into her eyes, i'll know i've always known her. at that moment, i will be a survivor of all these dark times i'm now living...
 
so i look once again at this beautiful tree, a survivor full of such color and vitality, reflecting in the waters of life, how can i not feel alive? just being able to breathe in all of nature's beauty, and then exhale pure love. echoing all i need to know: life is good, so good...  
 
"passion is...it's fire. and fire is great, man. but we're made of water. water is how we keep living. water is what we need to survive" ― taylor jenkins reid, daisy Jones & the six
 
and this next song is another song of strength and survival. the original is from way back in the disco era of 1978, but i much better prefer the alternative version from 1996. redone by the stylish band, cake, it's edgier with a bit more of a dismissive tone to it...the lyrics are all about surviving that person in life who was awful for us (and if she is reading this now, and i bet that narcissist is, she will know exactly who i'm referring to), that person who used and abused us just to get what they wanted. not caring about us for who were are, only caring what they could get out of us by using their beauty, and charm and sex against us. full of bullshit, gaslighting, more manipulation, deception, and lies for as long as they could get away with it all...not sure anyone could every get over someone like this, all you can do is survive and become a survivor...but it's so hard to be a survivor and walk away from someone who came into our life like a dream that's too good to be true, but turned out to be the nightmare we wished wasn't real...
 
sorry about the rant...now here's the original version of the tune which is vocalized so powerfully, yet softly by a truly beautiful singing voice "i will survive" by gloria gaynor ... (just click on any of the words in the powder blue links to listen to the tune and watch the video) ... and then here is my favorite version of this song from 1996 by cake, done in their own unique alternative style quite radically different from gaynor's original tune, but so jazzy and really groovy: "i will survive" by cake (gloria gaynor cover) and if you would like to hear a modern, updated version of this song by a current pop star, give this rendition from 2016 a listen: "i will survive" by demi lovato (gloria gaynor cover)

"at first i was afraid, i was petrified. i kept thinking, i could never live without you by my side. but then i spent so many nights just thinking how you'd done me wrong. i grew strong, i learned how to get along. and so you're back from outer space. i just walked in to find you here without that look upon your face. i should have changed my fucking lock. i would have made you leave your key, if i had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me. oh now go. walk out the door. just turn around now, you're not welcome anymore. weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire? did you think i'd crumble? did you think i'd lay down and die? oh not i! i will survive. yeah, as long as i know how to love, i know i'll be alive. i've got all my life to live. i've got all my love to give. i will survive, i will survive...yeah, yeah...it took all the strength i had just not to fall apart. i'm trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart. and i've spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself. i used to cry, but now i hold my head up high. and you see me with somebody new. i'm not that stupid little boy still in love with you. and so you thought you'd just drop by and you expect me to be free, but now i'm saving all my loving for someone whose lovin' me...so now go. walk out the door. just turn around now, you're not welcome anymore. weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire? did you think i'd crumble? did you think i'd lay down and die? oh not i. i will survive. yeah as long as i know how to love, i know i'll be alive. i've got all my life to live. i've got all my love to give. i will survive, i will survive...yeah, yeah...as long as i know how to love, i know i'll be alive. i've got all my life to live. i've got all my love to give. i will survive. i will survive yeah, yeah, oh no" ― cake, i will survive (gloria gaynor cover)  
 
"the sun shines down upon us, the lucky ones...you're the radiant cypress standing in the water, so bright and vibrant, so vivid and ablaze with warming colors...i'm your reflection in the river, only just a bit darker, more hazy opaque, and slightly blurred, more cooled by the waters (but still burning for you)...we're complimentary mirrors to each other, such beautiful simplicity, two incomplete parts of the perfect whole. we're together one the same, one love reflecting a glowing light" ― bodhinku, lucky mirrors 
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MORE BODHIKU QUOTES
and now here are a few more quotes from bodhinku from past blogs to help add to the deeper meaning of this blog today...
 
"falling into the mist
through colourful trees
on wings of love

becoming a part
of colours ablaze
in autumn's leaves

holding each colour
with floating kisses
on sighs of feathers" ― bodhinku, colours
 
"she said simply, 'my favorite color is you'...and that's all it took for love to take me" ― bodhinku, colour of love 
 
"like hues bleeding through a watercolor, so are the days of my life" ― bodhinku, days of my life
 
"if i were the trees, i would have my leaves transform to yellow and red and orange, and let them light up the sky with their golden shades at sunset, and then they would circle about your head as they float down, falling in piles at your feet, so that you might know this colorful wonder of falling in love" ― bodhinku, watercolours 
 
"just as a autumn transforms a beautiful tree, fully ablaze in only its best colors, and blooming in full wisdom from all the seasons, so will the words well spoken bring out the best in the one who puts them into practice" ― bodhinku, ablaze in practice
 
"like leaves on trees in autumn, and like colors in a watercolour, nothing in my life has been permanent, but that doesn't make it any less beautiful" ― bodhinku, a watercolour 
    
"looking back over my memories, my life is like watercolours that have bled and faded. but sometimes i find my blurry reflections are so much more beautiful than a focused reality could ever have been" ― bodhinku, watercolours  
 
"we can learn so many lessons from the trees in the fall...live and be alive like the trees. breathe it all in as you listen to autumn speak to you, letting go of everything like the falling leaves, floating in the hues of all these colours reflecting your life, and moments lived...all of the colours you have lived" ― bodhinku, colours lived
 
"together
our colours sing,
ablaze with a
melody of passion hues
drenched with reds, and
yellows, and oranges,
mellowed by greens, and
cooling blues...
whispering silently upon
the morning breeze,
we're autumn's leaves
falling from trees,
landing in the river
floating quietly away, upon
still waters,
wrapped around
colourful sighs,
a simple, single, infinite
moment of living to
love"  ― bodhinku, floating colours 
 
"our life is a colouring book...together we color our world onto the vibrant pages with our radiant hues, saturating and warming our lives with a beauty that's so filled with colourful luminosity, just like sparkling sunbeams shining through a thousand colourful leaves ablaze on autumn trees" ― bodhinku, colourful life  
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MORE QUOTES FOR EXTRA MEANING
my god, i wait patiently. keeping faith for the day in my life, that one day when i can finally feel this way, and sing this following song to her. and i know she is out there somewhere. and i know she is seeking me out too...i want to feel the love of coloring outside the lines with her, a lady who wants to do the same with me for the rest of my life...and here is: "colouring outside the lines" by misterwives ... (just click on any of words in the powder blue links to listen to the musical selection) ...
 
"they say time slips away when you're having fun. that's why you said, let's change our life to a dull one...don't wanna blink one day and this will all be over, if only time could stop so we'd never grow older...yet in the same breath i look forward to the day, when our skin has aged i'll love you just the same...our canvas will have endless hues and shades, because of all the vivid colors that we made...say, what we wanna, do, make it all come true, because nothing is impossible with you...open my eyes to see you and i, can't believe this is life. open my eyes, saturated sunrise doesn't seem as bright when we're coloring outside the lines....so matter the day, no matter the night, our love will keep burning, keep burning bright. no matter the low, no matter the high, my darling our love will never run dry...we're coloring outside the lines" ― mandy lee (lead singer misterwives), colouring outside the lines
 
"a man asked gautama buddha, 'i want happiness.' buddha said, "first remove 'i', because that's ego. then remove 'want', because that's desire. see now you are left with only "happiness" ― gautama siddhartha buddha, sayings of buddha
 
"we are caught in the trance of fear, and our moment-to-moment experience becomes bound in reactivity. we spend our time and energy surviving our life, rather than living it fully" ― gautama siddhartha buddha, sayings of buddha
 
"love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. without them, humanity cannot survive" ― dalai lama xiv, the art of happiness
 
"to live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering" ― friedrich nietzsche, twilight of the idols
 
"as the colorful leaves in the fall let go of their resistance to the changing seasons, to their branches, to their pasts and fly into the fall air, so do we all in the autumn and this one is especially so with a vibrant changing tapestry during this time which has the power to bring about an entirely new landscape into our lives....the energy of the autumn mirrors this inward journey as we shift our attention from the external world and begin to make our descent into the darkness once more. this is not a time to mourn the end of colour, but to embrace the changing of the tides; the death and rebirth in the seasons, and of the self in a colorful and vibrant way. autumn leaves tumble to the earth below and show no fear in the dance from branch to ground. they know the time has come, they feel it deep within; the time to evolve with the changing season is here. in the coming twilight, we open to the transformation that flows and surrender to this time of celebrating what was, grieving what has ended, and opening to all that has yet to be. so they let go of the branch and fly into the unknown embracing the icy winds and uncertain horizons. the time to surrender to the fall has come once more. i wish you much love and light upon your colorful journey" ― c. ara campbell 
 
"this is me saying that i would set myself ablaze to bring color to all of the dark places within you" ― beau taplin
 
"do not let intimacy disappear. do not be afraid of deep intimacy. find it, go deep into the colors of each other's being without fear...for the other's pool of being will reflect you" ― osho, book of wisdom  
 
"moving forward is the only way to survive" ― tahereh mafi, shatter me  
 
"i want only five things, five chosen roots...one is an endless love. two is to see the autumn ablaze in color. i cannot exist without colorful leaves flying and falling to the earth. the third is the solemn winter, the white snow i loved, the caress of fire warming in the rough cold. fourth, the summer, plump as a watermelon, green as moss. and fifthly, your colorful eyes, my dear love, i won’t sleep without your eyes, i won’t exist without your gaze, i adjust the spring for you to follow me with your eyes. that, is all i want. next to nothing, close to everything in the love within the color of your eyes" ― pablo neruda, i explain a few colorful things
 
"when you are going through difficult times, remember: you might have lost some major battles, but you survived and you're still here" ― paulo coelho, manuscript found in accra 
 
"everyone is always going through tough things, the irony in it is that everyone thinks what they're going through is just as hard as what you are. life isn't about surviving this, it's about understanding this" ― nicholas sparks, the notebook
 
"i mean, if the relationship can't survive the long term, why on earth would it be worth my time and energy for the short term?" ― nicholas sparks, the last song
 
"i have no duty to be anyone's friend, and no one in the world has a duty to be mine. no claims, no shadow of necessity. friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art...it has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which gives value to survival" ― c.s. lewis, the four loves
 
"on a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero" ― chuck palahniuk, fight club 
 
"the oak fought the wind and was broken, the willow bent when it must, and survived" ― robert jordan, the fires of heaven
 
"i am me. in all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because i alone chose it. i own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. i own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. i own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. because i own all of me, i can become intimately acquainted with me. by so doing, i can love me and be friendly with all my parts. i know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that i do not know...but as long as i am friendly and loving to myself, i can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me...however i look and sound, whatever i say and do, and whatever i think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me...i can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. i have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. i own me, and therefore, i can engineer me. i am me, and i am okay. i am a survivor." ― virginia satir
 
"the thing about life is that you must be a survivor. life is going to be difficult, and dreadful things will happen. what you do is move along, get on with it, and be tough. not in the sense of being mean to others, but being tough with yourself and making a deadly effort not to be defeated" ― katharine hepburn
 
"i was amazed that what i needed to survive could be carried on my back. and, most surprising of all, that i could carry it" ― cheryl strayed, wild: from lost to found on the pacific crest trail
 
"nobody will protect you from your suffering. you can't cry it away or eat it away or starve it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away. it's just there, and you have to survive it. you have to endure it. you have to live through it and love it and move on and be better for it and run as far as you can in the direction of your best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by your own desire to heal" ― cheryl strayed, tiny beautiful things
 
"i survived because i remained soft, because i listened, because i wrote. because i huddled close to my truth, protected it like a tiny flame in a terrible storm...hold up your head when the tears come, when you are mocked, insulted, questioned, threatened, when they tell you you are nothing, when your body is reduced to openings. the journey will be longer than you imagined, trauma will find you again and again. do not become the ones who hurt you. stay tender with your power. never fight to injure, fight to uplift. fight because you know that in this life, you deserve safety, joy, and freedom. fight because it is your life. not anyone else’s. i did it, i am here. looking back, all the ones who doubted or hurt or nearly conquered me faded away, and i am the only one standing. so now, the time has come. i dust myself off, and go on a survivor" ― chanel miller, know my name
 
"it is not a question of if you will survive this, but what beautiful things await you when you do...good and bad things come from the universe holding hands. wait for the good to come" ― chanel miller, know my name
 
"i look at my scars and see something else: a girl who was trying to cope with something horrible that she should never have had to live through at all. my scars show pain and suffering, but they also show my will to survive. they're part of my history that'll always be there" ― cheryl rainfield, scars
 
"we must see all scars as beauty...because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. a scar means: i survived" ― chris cleave, the other hand
 
"my scars remind me that i did indeed survive my deepest wounds. that in itself is an accomplishment. and they bring to mind something else, too. they remind me that the damage life has inflicted on me has, in many places, left me stronger and more resilient. what hurt me in the past has actually made me better equipped to face the present" ― steve goodier
 
"most of us can hide our greatest hurts and longings. it’s how we survive each day. we pretend the pain isn’t there, that we are made of scars instead of wounds" ― leigh bardugo, king of scars
 
"even in times of trauma, we try to maintain a sense of normality until we no longer can. that, my friends, is called surviving. not healing. we never become whole again...we are survivors. if you are here today...you are a survivor. but those of us who have made it thru hell and are still standing? we bare a different name: warriors" ― lori goodwin
 
"for anyone who has ever lost a loved one, for anyone who has woken up crying and gone to bed the same way, for anyone who has had to learn that it’s okay to not be okay, listen: surviving isn’t strength, it’s continuing to breathe one day at a time; strength is learning to live despite the pain" ― jasinda wilder, falling into you
 
"we cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection...love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them–we can only love others as much as we love ourselves...shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, and then healed" ― brene brown, the gifts of imperfection
 
"there’s so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn’t. there’s a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn’t need to be painful or empty. you need to fill yourself up with love. not anyone else. become a whole being on your own. go on adventures, fall asleep in the woods with friends, wander around the city at night, sit in a coffee shop on your own, write on bathroom stalls, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot. do all things with love, but don’t romanticize life like you can’t survive without it. live for yourself and be happy on your own. it isn’t any less beautiful, i promise" ― emery allen
 
and here is another tune about being a survivor, this one is a new release by my current favorite hard rock group, pop evil...they have a throwback sound to the rock groups of the 1980s mixed with a more complete and full sound of the contemporary metal bands of the 2020s: "survivor" by pop evil ... (just click on any of words in the powder blue links to listen to the musical selection) ...
 
"if i wasn't good enough to finally succeed, then i couldn't love the reasons that i still bleed. it's getting harder to walk, i guess i'll just have to run. headed straight off a cliff, i'm not like everyone. i'm a survivor, come ride with me. been through hell and back, don't need your sympathy. everything i wanted is right in front of me, yeah. i'm a survivor, come ride with me. come ride with me, yeah. come ride with me...keep my head up, sinkin', lost in all of these waves. these odds keep me goin', the tide has finally changed. when it gets harder to breathe, i guess i'll just have to scream. get up back on my feet, i want the world to see me. i'm a survivor, come ride with me. been through hell and back, don't need your sympathy. everything i wanted is right in front of me, yeah. i'm a survivor, come ride with me. come ride with me, yeah. come ride with me...bring me back up or take me down low. make it go fast or move in slow-mo. 'bout that shine, all the hard times. free up the mind, i can open my eyes...i'm a survivor, come ride with me. been through hell and back, don't need your sympathy. everything i wanted is right in front of me, yeah. i'm a survivor, come ride with me. come ride with me, yeah. come ride with me" ― pop evil, survivor
 
"life is filled with unanswered questions, but it is the courage to seek those answers that continues to give meaning to life. you can spend your life wallowing in despair, wondering why you were the one who was led towards the road strewn with pain, or you can be grateful that you are strong enough to survive it" ― j.d. stroube, caged by damnation
 
"there will always be more questions. every answer leads to more questions. the only way to survive is to let some of them go" ― david levithan, every day
 
"and once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to be a survivor. you won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. but one thing is certain. when you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. that’s what this storm’s all about" ― haruki murakami, kafka on the shore
 
"this is how you survive the unsurvivable, this is how you lose that which you cannot bear to lose, this is how you reinvent yourself, overcome your abusers, fulfill your ambitions and meet the love of your life: by following what is true, no matter where it leads you" ― augusten burroughs, this is how
 
"rules of survival:
1. sometimes, the people who mean you harm are the ones who say they love you.
2. fear is your friend. when you feel it, act.
3. protect the little ones.
4. if you coped before, you can cope now.
5. always remember: in the end, the survivor gets to tell the story."
― nancy werlin, the rules of survival
 
"lately i've been thinking about who i want to love, and how i want to love, and why i want to love the way i want to love, and what i need to learn to love that way, and how i need to become to become the kind of love i want to be. and when i break it all down, when i whittle it into a single breath, it essentially comes out like this: before i die, i want to be somebody’s favorite hiding place, the place they can put everything they know they need to survive, every secret, every solitude, every nervous prayer, and be absolutely certain i will keep it safe" ― andrea gibson 
 
"there's a place, like no place on earth. a land full of wonder, mystery, and danger. some say, to survive it, you need to be as mad as a hatter. which, luckily, i am" ― lewis carroll, alice's adventures in wonderland
 
"love helped me live life, instead of just surviving" ― rebecca donovan reason to breathe
 
"we each survive in our own way...you make me want to live, not survive; not exist. live" ― sarah j. maas, queen of shadows
 
"that's how we manage to survive the loss. because love, it never dies, it never goes away, it never fades, so long as you hang on to it" ― gayle forman, if i stay
 
"it's not about surviving. it should be about love. when you know love...that's what makes this life worth it. when you live with it everyday. wake up with it, hold on to it during the thunder and after a nightmare. when love is your refuge from the death that surrounds us all and when it fills you so tight that you can't express it" ― carrie ryan
 
"you stay safe, you love. you survive. you laugh and cry and struggle and sometimes you fail and sometimes you succeed...we will always survive. there is always hope" ― carrie ryan, the dead-tossed waves
 
"we're the winners because we get to live. because we get to be survivors. despite the pain of this life, we get to feel another day" ― carrie ryan, the dark and hollow places
 
"survivors aren't always the strongest; sometimes they're the smartest, but more often simply the luckiest" ― carrie ryan, the dark and hollow places
 
"you're not half the person you could be, because of what was done to you. but you're twice what anyone else is because you survived" ― j.r. ward, lover mine
 
"we have learned that trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body. this imprint has ongoing consequences for how the human organism manages to survive in the present. trauma results in a fundamental reorganization of the way mind and brain manage perceptions. it changes not only how we think, and what we think about, but also our very capacity to think" ― bessel a. van der kolk, the body keeps the score
 
"that's the thing about depression: a human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. but depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end" ― elizabeth wurtzel, prozac nation
 
"human beings, unlike the water and trees, have a choice. they are given dignity, discernment, and the evolutionary wisdom that can move from death to new life, again to die and be restored on another level of existence...so, you have many choices about the ways you live and work and change and survive. say you fall into an ocean. you may give up and sink, or you may try to swim to shore. salvation is your decision" ― bahauddin, the drowned book
 
"a lion that hunts for survival in the jungle does not envy the one being fed in a zoo" ― suhaib rumi 
 
"don't breathe to survive; dance and feel alive" ― jalaluddin rumi, the essential rumi
 
"inside each of us, there’s continual autumn. our leaves fall and are blown out over the water. a crow sits in the blackened limbs and talks about what’s gone. then your generosity returns: spring, moisture, intelligence, the scent of hyacinth and rose and cypress" ― jalaluddin rumi, whispers of the beloved 
 
"when inward tenderness finds the secret hurt, pain itself will crack the rock and, ah! let the soul emerge a survivor" ― jalaluddin rumi, a year with rumi
 
"and when you have the strength, you too may find another to hold up....they lean against each other in a storm, those cypresses grown tall together…through the years. if they had not trusted and protected one another the way they do, they would not have survived and given us their grace and shade—a place for our eyes to meet. our friendship can be like this: a needed lift, a sail, a pillar, a springboard to taste the unfathomable. it is to tend you as you come into being, like a new world, that causes me to stay, gives me a purpose. of course i thank you for that…for letting me help" ― jalaluddin rumi, the purity of desire
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ABOUT THE IMPRESSION
"she's the light in my darkness, the colour in my black and white. she's the straw in my berry, the song in my heart. she's my dream girl, all i need in my life. i will survive through everything to be with her. i'm a survivor for her" ― bodhinku, survivor
 
this impression is found on the backwaters of a slow moving river in southeastern oklahoma, close to the small quiet town where my grandma was born a little over one hundred years ago...
 
this image was captured 11 mins after sunrise on a calm windless morning, and before the sunshine directly hit the river valley, and this composition is comprised entirely of one long exposure (f/11 @111mm for 11secs, iso-64)...and this single frame was not merged with any other exposures like i often do with my photography to achieve the perfect lighting of the entire scene...  
 
in my photography, i always use filters to create longer exposure effects, saturate colors naturally, and balance the light in my composition in-camera...i often use as many as four filters at time, and i always use at least one filter in my completed impressions...
 
for this exposure, to get the effects and balance i was looking for, i used two progreyusa filters in the capture of this composition, a 3.0nd progrey antarctica filter to bring the light in the image down 10 stops to create more smoothness in the water and a mystical blurred reflection of the tree and colors in the water...plus naturally staurate all the orange and blue color hues in in the image, combined with a 0.9 gnd progrey aurora filter to help balance in-camera overall the image the way i envisioned it...in this case, to stop down the brighter sunlight coming through the trees out of frame in the upper righthand portions of the image, stop down that brightness an extra three stops and help permit a richer balance of light throughout the rest of the exposure...
 
i also used the progrey g-120z magnetic holder to hold the filters and secure them to my favourite camera and lens combination, my nikon d810 with a nikon nikkor 70-200mm f/2.8... 
 
and with this being a quasi-long exposure of 11 seconds with a heavy 70-200mm f/2.8 zoom lens attached to my nikon d850, a stable and sturdy tripod is an absolute necessity in order to keep the image super sharp (in places i want that sharpness), and keep the camera from moving even slightly and blurring the tree and its leaves...i wish to openly thank my sponsors who have always supported me through both the good and bad times...for truly this long exposure impression would not be possible without the use of my induro phq3 series 5-way panhead with the induro (now benro) stealth carbon fiber tripod in combination with the progreyusa filters which i use with every photo i take...
 
"if nothing else...if i open my eyes, if i hope, if i cry, if i think, if i sigh, if i giggle, if i dance, if i love, if i breathe, then i have lived a full days worth of life...nothing is wasted, nothing" ― bodhinku, if nothing else
 
"i do not want you to just be into my photography, instead, i'd much rather you take a journey into my pictures, and feel the impression i have created, feel it with all your senses" ― bodhinku, into my photography
 
"my photography is my way of keeping a diary" ― bodhinku, my diary  
 
"contemplate without thinking. be certain only in your uncertainty, content to be completely incomplete. stop the rush. slow down time. breathe and notice. slow down everything. let it all be. shut off the noise. hush. relax. seize this higher moment. reconnect. feel and sense what surrounds you. listen to all the colours of light whisper as they envelope you. see the melody and harmony that float about unnoticed. taste the solitude of all this wonderment. smell the beautiful silence. now discover your peaceful serenity. then, reach out and touch your faith with all your senses. this is my world. awaken!" ― bodhinku, my world
 
i leave you today wishing that bright joy 
and spiritual peace fill your life...
imploring you to make every moment count, 
no matter what, always and forever, 
for that is the only thing that truly matters... 
  
and above all else,
i hope this message and impression find you well.
 
namaste,
bodhi
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