Speechless by Bodhi Smith

Nov 19, 2021

"speechless" a brand new impression and blog...
 
"i'm two inches away and staring into her eyes. i see light years of love staring back into me. she knows me without knowing me. my eyes fill with all her glow. i'm breathless.  i'm speechless. i'm all hers. i'm home" ― bodhinku, speechless
 
"although i may try to describe love, when i experience it, i'm speechless" ― jalaluddin rumi, a year with rumi 
 
"if we are not sometimes baffled and amazed and undone by the world around us, rendered speechless and stunned, perhaps we are not paying close enough attention" ― ben marcus
 
"next time a sunrise steals your breath or a meadow of flowers leaves you speechless, remain that way. say nothing and listen as heaven whispers: do you like it? i did it just for you" ― max lucado
 
"left speechless at the sight of her. so beautiful. i've no words, but she hears me. each time i blink my eyes, she knows" ― bodhinku, speechless
 
"there were no words to describe her, nor were there ones i could coherently form in the moment; she was a work of art, and i was speechless" ― raine miller, eyes wide open
 
"i’d be lying if i said
you make me speechless.
the truth is you make my
tongue so weak it forgets
what language to speak in" ― rupi kaur, milk and honey
 
"if we allow ourselves to stay amazed and astounded at the vibrant instants of every day and do not feel ashamed of admitting to being speechless or dumbfounded sometimes, we can uncover unsuspected sparkling gems hidden in the nooks crannies of our mind" ― erik pevernagie
 
"find me under the milky way, soul bare and heart open. let me swim in your spirit past the sentry of time and space that stands in the way and let me love you...pull away the unworthiness etched upon your shores by those too blind to see your value and let me breathe you into the depths of myself in appreciation of all that you are. show me your solitude as i show you mine; all the parts that ache and yearn for more. let me see the facets of you longing to be traced by understanding hands full of reverence. you have the taste of my destiny on your lips and an essence that has swam in my blood since time began; a compass that navigated me wordlessly like a north star back to a safe harbor. you, the home of the soul i longed a lifetime for, the lyrics to a melody i hummed before learning all of your words...wishing only that i could give you my eyes so that you could see your own brilliant unfolding and witness your landscape that has to me become so precious. you, who comprehend the foreign language i speak that fell on deaf ears for an eternity, it’s tongues finally heard fully quenching my parched and misunderstood soil that once stood solitary and barren against the tides...planting 1000 kisses upon your naked heart in worship and in awe of your existence in this universe, i am replete with joy. if a million stars fell from the skies whispering their wishful promises into my open ear, not a single one would i entreat to change a single layer of you. let us stretch our fingers towards eternity together wrapped around dreams and laughter, souls bare and hearts open" ― c. ara campbell, soul bare and heart open
 
this is the perfect song for my impression today (and it bears the same name too)...such a lovely love song, it has so much heart, and the lyrics and nothing short of beautiful: "speechless" by dan + shay ...(just click on any of words in the blue links to listen to the musical selection)....

"you say you'll be down in five. the smell of your perfume is floating down the stairs. you're fixing up your hair like you do. i know that i'll be a mess the second that i see you. you won't be surprised, it happens every time, it's nothin' new. it's always on a night like tonight, i thank god you can read my mind. because when you look at me with those eyes, i'm speechless. staring at you, standin' there, in that dress. what it's doing to me, ain't a secret. because watching you is all that i can do, and i'm speechless...you already know that you're my weakness. after all this time i'm just as nervous every time you walk into the room, i'm speechless. it started when you said hello. just did something to me and i've been in a daze ever since the day that we met. you take the breath out of my lungs. can't even fight it. and all of the words out of my mouth without even trying, and i'm speechless. staring at you, standing there, in that dress, what it's doing to me, ain't a secret. because watching you is all that i can do, and i'm speechless. you already know that you're my weakness. after all this time, i'm just as nervous every time you walk into the room, i'm speechless...it's always on a night like tonight. i thank god you can read my mind. because when you look at me with those eyes, i'm speechless. you're standing there in that dress. girl, it ain't a secret, because watching you is all that i can do, ooh ooh, i'm speechless. you already know that you're my weakness. after all this time, i'm just as nervous every time you walk into the room, i'm speechless. oh, you know it baby" ― dan + shay, speechless
 
"all those nights looking at her up in the stars. all those lucid nights of holding on to her in my dreams. all those blogs i wrote talking about her, pleading for her to find me. knowing her without meeting her yet. hoping beyond hope she was out there, believing with certainty she existed. i never stopped believing. always having faith we would finally meet and love would be just an afterthought" ― bodhinku, never stop believing
 
"never stop believing and it will happen to you. collectively, hoping-believing-loving is a pathway all in it of its own. embracing love through hope and belief is all you need to find your way. true love is discoverable through simply having faith in love, faith in finding romantic happiness one day, on a path which only you know how to walk. if you are true to yourself, through karma you will find it, and it will find you in return" ― bodhinku, hope-belief-love 
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MEANING
"this old ponderosa pine clinging to a red-rock cliff in zion national park under the milky way and stars leaves me almost speechless searching for words...a tree of inspiration, so beautiful and powerful, so perfect in all its imperfections..." ― bodhinku, speechless
 
the english word "speechless" is defined by merriam-webster as:
1. unable to speak, especially as a temporary result of shock or some strong emotion.
2. unable to be expressed in words.
 
i'm this tree, only instead living in socal and not utah. i'm twisted and broken, yet beautiful in my own way...
 
in our moment of truth, as we bare all in front of the universe, and give witness to who we truly are, it's really our imperfections that give us strength and makes us beautiful...
 
our imperfections make us unique, and are often the best reason for why we are the individuals we are. i embrace everything that is not perfect about me. i know it's all my imperfections that make me who i am, albeit a weird soul, i'm thankfully different from everybody else...and i'm thankful my loved ones love me for the weirdo i am...
 
like i alluded to above, i empathize and identify with this tree...this old twisted ponderosa tree has been distorted by the persistent elements of mother nature and relentless wear and tear of father time...but in its moments to survive and weather life's changes, it continues to magically cling and hang on to the side of a cliff against all odds...giving inspiration in its perseverance to continue to fight for its right to exist, despite the overwhelming odds stacked against it...
 
and this tree might look broken or deformed in the eyes of some people, but i see it's those very traits that are the source of beauty and a wealth of inspiration...
 
too me, this tree is so breathtakingly beautiful, i'm left speechless...sending the message of the empowering realization that life is lived to its fullest when we embrace the simplicity of being imperfectly perfect, forgetting all we are lacking, being content to just be completely incomplete...loving ourselves for who we are, not where we are or who we are in other people's eyes...
 
and my life is filled with these moments where i get to see such beautiful wonders in nature. i get to truly experience these wonderful moments in time, and my life is good, really good. when i reflect back on things, i see myself as lucky, and fortunate for all that i have, and all get to do and all get to see...
 
if someone asks me how i'm right now, i always say: "my only problem is that i'm still me, but my biggest blessing is that i'm still me"... 
 
each morning i meditate before i start my day...i breathe in, and breathe out. breathe in, breathe out. breathe in, breathe out...a wise person once reminded me that life is not measured by the breaths that you take, but by the moments that take your breath away...a moment in time can mean a lifetime.
 
looking into the mirror each morning, you need to be happy with what reflects back. happy with your glow, no matter how bright or dim. happy for all those lines from smiles and frowns, happy with the sparkle in your eyes along with the tears they shed, happy with all the reflections of your life, for better or worse...happy for that special moment in time that makes you feel alive. hoping that with your next breath, the moment will take your breath away... 
 
i'm happy with myself, but i've always craved being happier by being able to share myself with someone who wants to share themselves with me, and share this life i have chosen as a photographer and an adventurer...for although these moments i've experienced over the past few years are so beautiful and perfect, i'm greedy, i want more moments, those moments shared with someone whom you deeply love to the core of your soul...
 
so, i hoped, and i dreamed, and i sighed, and i never stopped believing, but all to no avail. i remained true to myself and resigned to just be happy with my chosen path of solitude, being alone, content with the life i had, travelling the world with my doggie, off on an adventure on a cliff's edge in the mountains, or deep in the forest, or along a deserted beach in the morning's fog...
 
but sometimes, that all just fell so awfully short of what it could be, i was always longing and hoping for the fairytale to touch my life and take it to another level of happiness, but one sunrise after another, i'd wake up by myself...still i believed in her, i continued to hang on and wish...
 
and although, i'm still all alone at sunrise and again at sunset, a solitary recluse clinging to my own cliff like the tree in my photo, hanging by a moment out under the milky way, believing in serendipity, hoping for a soulmate...yet, knowing beyond hope that something so beautiful will come out of all the loneliness...luck or fate matters not, our paths will connect, she'll find me and i'll finally find her...
 
that day in the future when she enters my heart and leaves me speechless, breathless. and once again, the simple act of breathing takes my breath away...i'm so glad i'm alive, blessed to be lucky to have all i could ever want, wanting and needing nothing except what i have...
 
"happiness is not having what you want. it's wanting what you have" ― rabbi hyman schachtel
 
this image, "speechless" is dedicated to my beloved who is out there somewhere reading my thoughts...as many of you know, i'm a man of many words, often talking too much...but she leaves me speechless, so happy to be at a loss for words. i could not be more in love with her though i've yet to meet her...to add to that, out of the blue in my dream this morning right before i awakened , she told me that her favorite color was me, i'm left speechless again, feeling just so utterly loved by her, i'm forever saved...now if she can just find her way to me in reality...
 
so that with just the sight of her, i'm left speechless. so beautiful. i've no words, but she hears me. each time i blink my eyes, she knows...i'm two inches away and staring into her eyes. i see light years of love staring back into me. she knows me without knowing me. my eyes fill with all her glow. i'm breathless.  i'm speechless. i'm all hers. i'm home...one day soon i this will be my reality, i know it, just as i know her...
 
all those nights looking at her up in the stars. all those lucid nights of holding on to her in my dreams. all those blogs and books i wrote talking about her, pleading for her to find me. knowing her without meeting her yet. hoping beyond hope she was out there, believing with clear certainty that she existed...and though she still is not holding my hand yet as i type these words, i never stop believing. always having faith we will finally meet and love will be just an afterthought...and it will all come true, she's living inside my heart...
 
so, if you're all alone and lonely, or were previously burned by a false hope filled with lies, don't stop believing that your twin flame is out there somewhere...don't ever stop believing...all my faith, hope, beliefs, and dreams will intersect all at once one day. and i will finally see, for there she'll be, here with me...i will feel that i'm lucky. i'm loved. i'm in love. i'm at peace. i'm sated. i'm speechless...
 
"now i'm so famished, but not for food, so hungry for her...she's my nourishment...i'm craving all her soothing pleasures, touches, tingles, wet and warm, soft and sensual...flavors of heaven, tastes of erotica, aromas so sweet, singing me speechless...she's ambrosia filling all my senses, she sates all my desires, and recharges my being" ― bodhinku, speechless
 
"so many years, no electricity 
walking this path laid by fate
believing in serendipity;
hoping for a soulmate
 
haunted by your spirit
from another time and place;
but i knew not to fear it,
for one day we'd embrace.
 
then out of nowhere you appear!
dreams become reality;
restoring a faith so dear
in higher spirituality...
 
for when i see your face,
i truly already know:
your eyes are my grace,
i was born to love you so." ― bodhinku, don't stop believing
 
this next song radiates a positive hope for finally finding love and someone to share your life with. a true love to share everything, every single thing together. my advice: never stop believing and it will happen to you. collectively, hoping-believing-loving is a pathway all in it of its own. embracing love through hope and belief is all you need to find your way. true love is discoverable through simply having faith in love, faith in finding romantic happiness one day, on a path which only you know how to walk. if you are true to yourself, through karma you will find it, and it will find you in return....so this rock classic, one of the most beloved songs of the entire 1980s is absolutely the perfect accompaniment to connect music with the meaning of my impression and blog today:  "don't stop believin" by journey ... (just click on any of the words in the blue links to listen to the musical selection)....

"just a small town girl living in a lonely world. she took the midnight train going anywhere. just a city boy born and raised in south detroit, he took the midnight train going anywhere...a singer in a smokey room, the smell of wine and cheap perfume. for a smile they can share the night. it goes on and on, and on, and on...strangers, waiting up and down the boulevard. their shadows searching in the night. streetlights, people, living just to find emotion. hiding somewhere in the night...working hard to get my fill, everybody wants a thrill. paying anything to roll the dice just one more time. some will win, some will lose, some were born to sing the blues. oh, the movie never ends, it goes on and on, and on, and on...strangers, waiting up and down the boulevard. their shadows searching in the night. streetlights, people, living just to find emotion. hiding somewhere in the night...don't stop believin', hold on to that feeling. streetlight, people, don't stop, believin', hold on to that feeling, streetlights, people, oh-oh-ooooh...don't stop believin' hold on to that feeling, streetlights, people" ― journey, don't stop believin
 
"don't ever stop believing...all my faith, hope, beliefs, and dreams will intersect all at once one day. and i will finally see, for there she'll be, here with me...i will feel that i'm lucky. i'm loved. i'm in love. i'm at peace. i'm sated. i'm speechless" ― bodhinku, speechless
---------------------- 
 
MORE BODHIKU QUOTES
and now here are a few more quotes from bodhinku from past blogs to help add to the deeper meaning of this blog today...
 
"mountain wind
filled with thousands of words
echoes of your love
each movement
each moment
one word
yet thousands of meanings.
i've heard your whispers
hanging in my leaves
you were close to me.
i knew there was no distance
i knew because the wind,
was you." ― bodhinku, hanging by a moment
 
"hang by the moment, but let time be
reach out while still holding on
simultaneously embracing life and letting go
be wild and still innocent
become drunk without drinking
stay strong, even in weakness...
bind strength to all your fears,
and become courageously scared
reflect the dark in your abyss
and become insanely calm...
maintain faith in your disbelief
be completely incomplete
and significant in insignificance...  
its okay to be, just let it be 
be clearly confused, 
be an eternal moment
inside the outside ― bodhinku, oxymoron
 
"and reflecting back on this moment in time, i'm really happy to be able to share this picture with so many who would never get to witness such a scene. and in doing so, you can reflect that i actually existed at this time, that i was here at this place, and that i was truly alive in this moment" ― bodhinku, a moment's reflection 
 
"yesterday is nothing but today's memory... and tomorrow is nothing but today's dream...so live today like nothing else matters ― bodhinku, live today
 
"even though he
knew not how to fly, he
jumped off the cliff,
hoping she would follow, and
save him from falling, sinking
in mediocrity. because one moment of 
something wonderful, is better 
than a forever of nothing special" ― bodhinku, a better moment 
 
"each and every moment is temporary. cherish the moments that take your breath away, live them to the fullest, for they will not last. and do not shutter away the difficult moments, reflect and learn from them, get through them. they are not forever, they too will pass... good or bad, every moment is precious, because they let us know we are living...always be sure to make each moment count" ― bodhinku, each moment 
 
"hanging by a moment hoping for the next soft touch of her fingertips on the back of my neck" ― bodhinku, a better moment  
 
"you are in every single moment i ever want to be in" ― bodhinku, a better moment 
 
"hanging on these moments without you
i've learned to love so much more true
to do everything and anything for us two
to once again taste the flowering sweet dew
still i must find ways to feel less blue
and make my passageway through
so that the very next time i see you
i will be reborn into moments all new"
---------------------
 
MORE QUOTES FOR EXTRA MEANING
and here is another beautiful tune...reggae has been my favorite genre of music for well over 30 years now, and this song for me is a classic...it was written in the early 1960's but never caught my attention until i heard it as a reggae cover in the 1988 movie "cocktail" with tom cruise and elisabeth shue: "this magic moment" by the drifters (a cover by leroy gibbons) ...i sound old, but they just do not make songs like this anymore...(just click on any of words in the blue links to listen to the song)...  
 
"this magic moment, so different and so new was like any other until i kissed you. and then it happened, it took me by surprise. i knew that you felt it too by the look in your eyes. sweeter than wine, softer than the summer night. everything i want i have whenever i hold you tight. this magic moment while you lips are close to mine will last forever, forever til the end of time... sweeter than wine, softer than the summer night. everything i want i have whenever i hold you tight. this magic moment while you lips are close to mine will last forever, forever til the end of time...oh, magic moment..." ― leroy gibbons, this magic moment (the drifters cover)  
 
"do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. the way is not in the sky. the way is in the heart" ― gautama siddhartha buddha, sayings of buddha
 
"the best way to take care of the future is to take care of the present" ― lao tzu, tao te ching  
 
"there comes a moment when you realize what matters the most in your life. let that moment be now and let that matter be your love and kindness" ― mohandas mahatma gandhi
 
"love never loses its way home, it’s within us all along; a shining beacon rooted deeply on our shores. it’s always flowing to us and inside of us. unyielding in its power, unwavering in its belief and undying in its devotion, it never dies. our task is to believe in it and not lose faith when darkness rises and it becomes hard to see. it’s still there, with the power to breathe life and fire into once stale lungs. our greatest challenge is to embrace the whole of who we are and love ourselves completely enough to never stop believing in our worthiness of the love we dream of. when we truly embody the knowledge that love is something real that we are born deserving, it’s easier to have faith in its existence and to not sacrifice ourselves or settle for any less. it becomes easier to know deep in our hearts that love can never lose its way home to us, because we are love and this is all an unfolding path of love. that the real love that is meant for us will always find a way and that trusting in it is part of believing in love...and so, onward we go continuing our eternal journey deciphering the language of love. may we travel well" ― c. ara campbell 
 
"you must simply learn to look harder for the light. it will come to you in flashes of unexpected beauty. collect these tiny fragments of light wherever they come, until at last your sky is so full or stars, you are finally able to see the way forward" ― beau taplin, here at dawn  
 
"there are no ordinary moments" ― dan millman, way of the peaceful warrior
 
"a man becomes a buddha the moment he accepts, with gratitude, all that life brings" ― osho, tantra: the supreme understanding  
 
"accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. if you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down" ― richard bach, jonathan livingston seagull  
 
"oh, how one wishes sometimes to escape from the meaningless dullness of human eloquence, from all those sublime phrases, to take refuge in nature, apparently so inarticulate, or in the wordlessness of long, grinding labor, of sound sleep, of true music, or of a human understanding rendered speechless by emotion" ― boris pasternak, doctor zhivago
 
"who dreamt
and made incarnate gaps in time and space
through images juxtaposed,
and trapped the archangel of the soul between 2 visual images
and joined the elemental verbs and set the noun
and dash of consciousness together
jumping with sensation of pater omnipotens aeterna deus
to recreate the syntax and measure of poor human
prose and stand before you speechless and intelligent and shaking with shame" ― allen ginsburg, howl and other poems
 
"you were smitten with me. you were speechless to behold my beauty. you had never met anyone so fascinating. you thought of me every waking minute. you dreamed about me. you couldn't stand it. you couldn't let such wonderfulness out of your sight. you had to follow me" ― jerry spinelli, stargirl
 
"i would rather my heart be without words than my words be without heart" ― lamar boschman
 
"when speechless, let the body do the talking" ― toba beta, master of stupidity
 
"pardon all runners,
all speechless, alien winds,
all mad waters.
pardon their impulses,
their wild attitudes,
their young flights, their reticence.
when a message has no clothes on,
how can it be spoken" ― thomas merton
 
"words flow from love, and speech is likewise confounded by love. it is the sweetest gesture to be without words, and with words, all the same. so too is it with the lighthearted sigh--an outward expression of an abundance of the heart" ― zechariah barrett
 
"i love the way he says my name, like it’s something he wants to keep safe" ― hannah harrington, speechless
 
"to me sometimes a mute sky is more expressive than the roaring sea" ― munia khan, attainable  
 
"inside this new love, let go. your way begins on the other side…let go, and be quiet. quietness is the surest sign that you’ve let go. your old life was a frantic running from silence. the speechless full moon comes out now" ― jalaluddin rumi, bridge to the soul 
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ABOUT THIS IMPRESSION
"she enters my heart and leaves me speechless, breathless. and once again, the simple act of breathing takes my breath away...now i'm so glad i'm alive, blessed to be lucky to have all i could ever want, wanting and needing nothing except what i have"  ― bodhinku, speechless
 
pictured here is an old ponderosa pine clinging to a red-rock cliff in zion national park, utah under the milky way and stars...a tree of inspiration, so beautiful and powerful in all its imperfections...
 
captured on August 9th, 2021, this composition is comprised two separate exposures captured in southwestern utah under the stars at 11:11pm and also a couple mins after sunset at 8:55pm...this composition is comprised of one long exposure of the foreground leading up to the twisted tree along with the buttes in the background (f/11@55mm for 111 secs, iso-64) merged with a star-tracked long exposure of the starry skies and the milky way (f'/5@55mm for 260 secs, iso-800)... 
 
in my photography, i always use filters to create longer exposure effects, saturate colors naturally, and balance the light in my composition in-camera...i often use as many as four filters at time, and i always use at least one filter in my completed impressions...
 
and to get the effects and balance i was looking for in the tree and butte exposure of this composition (f/11@111mm for 111 secs, iso-64), i used two progreyusa filters...
 
first, a 3.0 nd progrey antarctica filter to bring the light in the image down 10 stops and permit for the long 1 minute and 51 second exposure which naturally saturates all the red, green, and blue colors (rgb's) in the image...
 
combined with the second filter, a 0.9gnd progrey aurora filter to help balance in-camera overall the image the way i envisioned it...in this case, to stop down the much brighter light in the sky, the post-dusk light, at the horizon level of the image an extra three stops and help permit details in the shadows amongst all the trees, and the rocks in the cliffs and foreground to come out better in the exposure... 
 
i also used the progrey g-120 z magnetic holder to hold the filters and secure the filters to my nikon d850 with a nikon nikkor 24-70mm f/2.8 lens ... 
 
and with this being a long exposure of 111 seconds, a stable and sturdy tripod is an absolute necessity in order to keep the image sharp...i wish to openly thank my sponsors who have always supported me through both the good and bad times...for truly this long exposure impression would not be possible without the use of my induro phq3 series 5-way panhead with induro carbon fiber stealth tripod in combination with the progreyusa filters which i use with every photo i take...
 
for the separate exposure of the stars i used a vixen optics polarie star tracker with vixen optics polarie tripod attached to my nikon d850 with a nikon nikkor 24-70mm f/2.8 lens... this permitted me to be able to capture a much longer exposure of the stars and not have any star trails, which also gives such beautiful enrichment to all the colors in the night sky while at the same time permitting a much lower iso setting and thus so much less noise (f/5@15mm for 260secs, iso-800), and no filters were necessary in the star exposure, so none were used...
 
"if nothing else...if i open my eyes, if i cry, if i think, if i sigh, if i giggle, if i dance, if i love, if i breathe, then i have lived a full days worth of life...nothing is wasted, nothing" ― bodhinku, if nothing else
 
"i do not want you to just be into my photography, instead, i'd much rather you take a journey into my pictures, and feel the impression i have created, feel it with all your senses" ― bodhinku, into my photography
 
"contemplate without thinking. be certain only in your uncertainty. stop the world. slow down everything. let it all be. shut off the noise. hush. relax. seize this moment. reconnect. feel and sense what surrounds you. listen to all the colors of light whisper as they envelope you. see the melody and harmony that float about unnoticed. taste the solitude of all this wonderment. smell the beautiful silence. now discover your peaceful serenity. then, reach out and touch your faith with all your senses. this is my world. awaken!" ― bodhinku, my world
 
"my photography is my way of keeping a diary" ― bodhinku, my diary  
 
i leave you today wishing that bright joy 
and spiritual peace fill your life...
imploring you to make every moment count, 
no matter what, always and forever, 
for that is the only thing that truly matters...    
 
and above all else,
i hope this message and impression find you well.
 
namaste,
bodhi
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