flying with my feet on the ground
running in a direction with no direction
my darkness lights my path
as the stars glow in my sunshine
i'm holding on while i let go
maintaining faith in my disbelief
as i run away directly to her
she's there, though i cannot see her
i know her, though we've not met
running in the infinity of a mere second
i'm dreaming with my eyes wide awake
all i know is that i know nothing
"runner" is defined by merriam-webster as:
1. a person who runs, especially in a specified way.
2. a messenger.
"i don't know if we have a destiny, or if we're all just floatin' around accidental-like on a breeze...but i...i think maybe it's both...maybe both is happening at the same time" ― winston groom, forrest gump
i think back to one of my favorite movies of all time, forrest gump, which is an academy award winning film from 1994 with a message about the journeys we all need take in our life down our chosen path to get to where we need to go, even though we might not see the reason for the journey at the time. an idea so well articulated by one of the greatest quotes of all time from any movie:
yet as we move forward, we can better understand the full meaning as we look back and reflect upon where we've been, and all of our experiences, and how they help to point us in the direction we need to go next.
but the movie has another strong thematic undercurrent as well, one prevalent throughout the movie in forrest's journeys, a theme about running in relation to life's problems. but forrest is not running away from his problems. instead running creates a positive thing in his life, something he is really good at doing. although he is not the smartest man, running is something he excels at better than anyone. running is used to soothe and help him meditate; allow for time to help sort out, understand, and solve problems...it's a wonderful message for all of us
"that day, for no particular reason, i decided to go for a little run. so i ran to the end of the road. and when i got there, i thought maybe i'd run to the end of the town. and when i got there, i thought maybe i'd just run across greenbow county. and i figured, since run this far, maybe i'd just run across the great state of alabama. and that's what i did. i ran clear across Alabama. for no particular reason i just kept on goin'. i ran clear to the ocean. and when i got there, i figured, since i'd gone this far, i might as well turn around, just keep on goin'. when i got to another ocean, i figured, since i'd gone this far, i might as well just turn back, keep right on goin'. when i got tired, i slept. when i got hungry, i ate. when i had to go, you know, i went...i had run for 3 years, 2 months, 14 days, and 16 hours" ― winston groom, forrest gump
i feel like in my life right now, i'm like forrest gump running though he knows not why. i'm a runner. i'm running and running, yet standing still. i'm here surrounding myself all alone. i travel the world, escaping my life for a while, running away into the middle of nowhere, but i know i'm not going anywhere. no matter where i go, there i am. my only problem is that i'm still me. however, that's also my biggest gift. the most important fact i know is: that i know nothing. i breathe, and therefore i am, i am because i breathe. maybe, i'm just an out-of-breath runner...
i'm just a clearly confused oxymoron. i'm a runner in the fog, clouded by all the thoughts and noise in my head. i need to run down the road and hear the silence, journey into the peace. yet through all my foggy visions, i'm crystal clear in my confusion. i know i want to find her, my dream, my beloved, my one day, my fairy tale happy beginning...but each morning i find myself waking up alone to begin the new day, to begin the search again...
"she's there with me
in all i see
though we've never met
no worry, no fret
because i know her yet
all that's me
all that will ever be
floats in her memory
her eyes awaken eternity;
opening the light of we
what does it all mean? i just need to keep running down the road and figure it all out. and if i do not? who cares, because my life has been a wonderful journey so far. it's all been about the experience of living life on my chosen path for me...
like forrest, i have been a runner all over this country. but instead of using my legs (though i do allot of hiking), i drive alongside my aussie shepherd pup in my 2020 grand cherokee, which now has 80,000 miles on it in only two years. back and forth across the country coast to coast, north to south and south to north, many times in the past couple years...
i'm a simple dude, driving down the road searching for pictures. searching for adventure. searching for a dream. searching for her. searching for myself. but maybe like the roadrunner in the cartoons, running down the road is just my idea of having fun. i'm simply running down my dream...
"i'm dreaming awake...for even when i'm dreaming, i'm awake because of my dream. i'm awake because of her" ― bodhinku, dreaming awake
and here is another beyond beautiful song, one of my all-time favorite and inspirational rock tunes because of my love of driving down the road, truly a great song to have in your playlist of driving tunes...read the lyrics and you will be able to connect the music to my current feelings and the deeper meaning of this blog and impression today...a song sung so harmoniously and vocalized so hopefully, with a historic guitar riff by a rock-n-roll legend we all miss dearly since his passing. i sincerely hope he is running down his dreams out there in those stars somewhere beyond the horizon ... "runnin' down a dream" by tom petty & the heartbreakers
"it was a beautiful day, the sun beat down. i had the radio on, i was driving. trees flew by, me and del were singing little runaway, i was flying. yeah, runnin' down a dream that never would come to me. working on a mystery, going wherever it leads. i'm runnin' down a dream...i felt so good like anything was possible. hit cruise control and rubbed my eyes. the last three days, the rain was unstoppable. it was always cold, no sunshine. yeah, runnin' down a dream that never would come to me. working on a mystery, going wherever it leads. i'm runnin' down a dream...i rolled on, the sky grew dark. i put the pedal down to make some time. there's something good waiting down this road. i'm picking up whatever's mine. and i'm runnin' down a dream that never would come to me. working on a mystery, going wherever it leads, runnin' down a dream...yeah, i'm runnin' down a dream that never would come to me. working on a mystery, going wherever it leads. i'm runnin' down a dream" ― tom petty & the heartbreakers, runnin' down a dream
"run down the road and feel the freedom. do not wait for a heaven. awaken and become alive now. dream with your eyes open. believe in life before death" ― bodhinku, life before death
"have courage to embrace life, make every moment count no matter what, especially at times when everything seems to be falling down around you, reach out and hold on simultaneously, to your rock with all your strength, wrap a smile around a giggle, persevere through, and you feel more alive than ever, trust me..." ― bodhinku, strength & courage