Jekyll and Hyde by Bodhi Smith

Aug 20, 2021

"jekyll and hyde" a brand new impression and blog from me...
 
"jekyll is my heart, doctoring me with love, pumping compassion throughout my body...but then mister hyde is my mind, consuming me with ego and pride, too many noisy thoughts floating around my head...follow my heart or listen to my head? be jekyll or turn into hyde? i always have both jekyll and hyde in me, living inside me, battling for control of my soul" ― bodhinku, jekyll and hyde
     
"good and evil are so close as to be chained together in the soul" ― robert louis stevenson, the strange case of dr. jekyll and mr. hyde
 
"there's a mr. hyde for every happy jekyll face, a dark face on the other side of the mirror...you turn the mirror sideways and see your face reflected with a sinister left-hand twist, half mad and half sane...no one looks at that side unless they have to" ― stephen king, rage
 
"a year jammed full of adventure and misadventure, strides forward and many steps backward, another year in my topsy-turvy, jekyll-and-hyde existence" ― anthony kiedis, scar tissue
 
"and in every one of us, there's a war going on. it's a civil war. i don't care who you are, i don't care where you live, there is a civil war going on in your life. and every time you set out to be good, there's something pulling on you, telling you to be evil. It's going on in your life. every time you set out to love, something keeps pulling on you, trying to get you to hate. every time you set out to be kind and say nice things about people, something is pulling on you to be jealous and envious and to spread evil gossip about them. there's a civil war going on. there is a schizophrenia, as the psychologists or the psychiatrists would call it, going on within all of us. and there are times that all of us know somehow that there is a mr. hyde and a dr. jekyll in us...there's a tension at the heart of human nature. and whenever we set out to dream our dreams and to build our temples, we must be honest enough to recognize it" ― martin luther king jr, the autobiography
 
"any fool can be happy. it takes a man with real heart to make beauty out of the stuff that makes us weep" ― clive barker, abarat
 
this song is a recent release hy a current alternative rock singer/songwriter ....and with its title and lyrics, it is the perfect accompaniment to connect music with the meaning of my impression and blog today: "jekyll and hyde" by bishop briggs ... (just click on any of the words in the blue links to listen to the musical selection)....

"born in a time of love, facing the winds of pain. storm's brewing up above...i was breaking, i was breaking just to raise you up from the grave of your mistakes. pleasure is a kind of pain. have i had enough? because i keep wrestlin' with snakes, sick of all the slippery stuff. are you jekyll-and-hyde-ing me? silently, i can't see in the dark. are you jekyll or hyde this time? where's my mind? i can't sleep in the dark, jekyll-and-hyde-ing me, did i make it up? i was yesterday's regret, but today i woke up in your bed. have i had enough? oh, have i had enough? sick of all the slippery, slippery stuff. red apple, cherry on your lips. killing me with every kiss...are you jekyll-and-hyde-ing me? silently, i can't see in the dark. are you jekyll or hyde this time? where's my mind? i can't sleep in the dark...jekyll-and-hyde-ing me, jekyll-and-hyde-ing me...sweet and then you're sour, changes by the hour. never know which one i'll taste. hot and then you're freezing, different every evening. baby, you drive me insane. are you jekyll-and-hyde-ing me silently, i can't see in the dark. are you jekyll or hyde this time? where's my mind? i can't sleep in the dark. jekyll-and-hyde-ing me..." ― bishop briggs, jekyll and hyde  
 
"all alone i fight my inner demons and distaste for beings of the daylight. seeking comfort from the loneliness, i look to the beauty of the night sky...an effervescent milky way, luminescent stars, glowing planets...her soothing echoes are somewhere between the silence of my eyes, and i find balance in opposing forces, as this impossible sunrise in the depth of the darkest night awakens my soul" ― bodhinku, jekyll and hyde
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MEANING
"her glow is my darkness... all her lies become my truth, her emptiness fills me up, her reality become my dream, her hell becomes my heaven" ― bodhinku, opposites attract  
 
this image shows so many opposites, and with it being captured on jekyll island in georgia, it got me to thinking about the human psyche in dealing with all the opposites dwelling inside us
 
"jekyll and hyde" is defined as: a phrase used in reference to someone or something that alternately displays two different sides to their character or nature
 
we all have so many opposites inside of each of us: empty and full, winning and losing, finishing and quitting, ignorance and wisdom, satisfaction and disgust, happy and sad, busy and peaceful, craziness and sanity, anger and calm, loud and silent, ego and modesty, hope and despair, dream and reality, love and hate, lies and truth, right and wrong...good versus evil seem to be the one we fight the most... as we constantly struggle between what we know is right and the bad things we do in spite of that knowledge...i am always waling the line between what i should do and what i actually do...
 
jekyll is my heart, doctoring me with love, pumping compassion throughout my body...but then mister hyde is my mind, consuming me with ego and pride, too many noisy thoughts floating around my head...follow my heart or listen to my head? be jekyll or turn into hyde? i always have both jekyll and hyde in me, living inside me, battling for control of my soul...
 
i find real solace in the stars at night...i see therapy in the constellations and heavenly bodies of the universe up above...
 
all alone i fight my inner demons and distaste for beings of the daylight. seeking comfort from the loneliness, i look to the beauty of the night sky...an effervescent milky way, luminescent stars, glowing planets...her soothing echoes are somewhere between the silence of my eyes, and i find balance in opposing forces, as this impossible sunrise in the depth of the darkest night awakens my soul...
 
this image today here is an impression of the values of opposites we have inside us, all the times we display two opposing sides of our own nature in the same consecutive moments...i truly hope you enjoy it as my blog here walks on the darker side of things...
 
and here is: "jekyll and hyde" by five finger death punch ... (just click on any of words in the blue links to listen to the musical selection) ...
 
"there's just so much goddamned weight on my shoulders all i'm trying to do is live my motherfucking life. supposed to be happy, but i'm only getting colder. wear a smile on my face, but there's a demon inside. there's just so much goddamned weight on my shoulders. all I'm trying to do is live my motherfucking life. supposed to be happy, but i'm only getting colder. wear a smile on my face, but there's a demon inside...there's a demon inside, just like jekyll and hyde. all this anger inside, i feel like jekyll and hyde. there's just so much goddamned weight on your shoulders, that you can't just live your motherfucking life. the story's getting old and my heart is getting colder. i just wanna be jekyll, but i'm always fighting hyde...you've got rocks in your head, i can hear them rolling 'round. you can say that you're above it, but you're always falling down. is there a method to your madness, is it all about pride? everyone i know, they've got a demon inside...there's a demon inside, just like jekyll and hyde. all this anger inside, i feel like jekyll and hyde...if i wasn't so deranged, could i ever face the pain? if i ever want to change, would this all remain the same? all i'm trying to do is live my motherfucking life. wear a smile on my face, but there's a demon inside. all i'm trying to do is live my motherfucking life. wear a smile on my face, but there's a demon inside...there's a demon inside, just like jekyll and hyde. all this anger inside, i feel like jekyll and hyde" ― five finger death punch, jekyll and hyde
 
"destroying all that's me inside
ruining and tearing me open wide
so many tears i've foolishly cried
for being truthful, she never tried
everything she said, she just lied and lied
so her ego could feed her ravenous pride
just a narcissistic evil missus hyde
eating the parts of my soul as they died" ― bodhinku, missus hyde  
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MORE QUOTES FOR EXTRA MEANING
"we all travel the milky way together, trees and humans" ― john muir, the mountains of california  
 
"even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise" ― victor hugo, les miserables  
 
"to be nobody but 
yourself in a world
which is doing its 
best day and night 
to make you like
everybody else means 
to fight the hardest battle
which any human being can fight 
and never stop fighting" ― e. e. cummings, 100 selected poems
 
"you must suffer me to go my own dark way" ― robert louis stevenson, the strange case of dr. jekyll and mr. hyde
 
"with every day, and from both sides of my intelligence, the moral and the intellectual, i thus drew steadily nearer to the truth, by whose partial discovery i have been doomed to such a dreadful shipwreck: that man is not truly one, but truly two" ― robert louis stevenson, the strange case of dr. jekyll and mr. hyde
 
"something about you caught me by surprise
though i always knew you’d be my demise.

i didn’t want you to love me
didn’t want you thinking of me
 
so i kept my distance
tried to ignore your existence
i was blinded by my pride
with you, the jekyll to my hyde
 
but that’s where you found me
baby, that’s where you unwound me
 
loving you would be as easy as taking a breath
but to look at you, that’s a dance with death
 
i'd risk it all,
for you i would
you’d make me fall,
and fall i would
 
loving you would be as easy as taking a breath
but to be by you, that’s a dance with death.

i thought once was enough
you turned to me and called my bluff,
maybe i should have walked away
but i couldn’t resist, i needed replay after replay
 
loving you would be as easy as taking a breath
but to give you up, that’s a dance with death
 
we were over from the start
i never said i’d give my hearts
so now it’s time for this to end
after all, a friend is just a friend
 
loving you would be as easy as taking a breath
but to give you up, that’s a dance with death" ― r.s. grey, the duet
 
"beyond love, beyond unrequited love, perhaps even beyond any other passion known to humanity, deep, deep in the depths of the turgid, clinging, swamplike pit of despair that lies dormant within every soul, lurks jealousy...jealousy, that most demeaning and debilitating of emotions. jealousy, which can double the strength of the love upon which it is based, but whilst doubling it, warp and pervert it, until it is no longer recognizable as the thing of beauty it once was. jealous love is no more like true love than mr. hyde was like dr. jekyll or a stagnant swamp is like a freshwater lake" ― ben elton, stark
 
"i trembled to think of a world without stars. no guide for the sailor to trust at see, no jewels to dazzle our sense of beauty...but all around the globe, the air is so dirty and the lights from the cities are so bright that for some people few stars can be seen anymore. a generation of children may grow up seeing a blank sky and asking, "did there used to be stars there?"― michael jackson, dancing the dream
 
"the dancing sun, the dancing stars. and the dancing galaxies are the direct expression of our divine self" ― amit ray, world peace 
 
"all day i think about it, 
then at night i say it.
where did i come from, 
and what am i supposed to be doing?
i have no idea.
my soul is from elsewhere, 
i'm sure of that,
and i intend to end up there.

this drunkenness began in some other tavern.
when i get back around to that place,
i'll be completely sober. meanwhile,
i'm like a bird from another continent, 
sitting in this aviary.
the day is coming when i fly off,
but who is it now in my ear who hears my voice?
who says words with my mouth?

who looks out with my eyes? 
what is the soul?
i cannot stop asking.
if i could taste one sip of an answer,
i could break out of this prison for drunks.
i didn't come here of my own accord, and 
i can't leave that way.
whoever brought me here 
will have to take me home.

this poetry. i never know what
i'm going to say.
i don't plan it.
when i'm outside the saying of it, 
I get very quiet and rarely speak at all.

we have a huge barrel of wine,
 but no cups.
that's fine with us. 
every morning we glow 
and in the evening 
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ABOUT THE IMPRESSION
"my biggest problem is that i'm still me, but my biggest gift is that i'm still me" ― bodhinku, i'm always me 
   
this impression was captured on the wet sands of driftwood beach on jekyll island, georgia, just as the sun was rising for the morning above the atlantic ocean at 6:51am on july 25th, 2021...this composition is comprised of one long exposure of the seascape (f/11@14mm for 111 secs, iso-64) merged with a shorter star exposure (f'/2.8@14mm for 18 secs, iso-6400)...  
 
in my photography, i always use filters to create longer exposure effects, saturate colors naturally, and balance the light in my composition in-camera...i often use as many as four filters at time, and i always use at least one filter in my completed impressions...
 
and to get the effects and balance i was looking for in the seascape exposure of this composition (f/11@14mm for 111 secs, iso-64), i used two progreyusa filters: first, a 3.0nd progrey titan filter to bring the light in the image down 10 stops and permit for the long 1 min and 51 second exposure which in turn creates this dreamy effect with motion blur of the waves and naturally saturate all the blues, yellows, and reds in the image; second, combined with a 0.9gnd progrey titan filter to help balance in-camera overall the image the way i envisioned it...in this case, to stop down the much brighter light in the sky from the sunrise an extra three stops and help permit details in the reflections of the wet sand on the beach come out better in the exposure... 
 
i also used the progrey g-150x holder (with nikon 14-24 lens adapter) to hold the filters and secure the filters to my nikon d850 with a nikon nikkor 14-24mm f/2.8... 
 
however, for the separate exposure of the stars (f/2.8@14mm for 18secs, iso-6400), no filters were necessary, so none were used...
 
i wish to openly thank my sponsors who have always supported me through both the good and bad times...for truly this long exposure impression would not be possible without the use of a induro phq3 series 5-way panhead with tripod, in combination with the progreyusa filters which i use with every photo i take...
 
"if nothing else...if i open my eyes, if i cry, if i think, if i sigh, if i giggle, if i dance, if i love, if i breathe, then i have lived a full days worth of life...nothing is wasted, nothing" ― bodhinku, if nothing else
 
"i do not want you to just be into my photography, instead, i'd much rather you take a journey into my pictures, and feel the impression i have created, feel it with all your senses" ― bodhinku, into my photography
 
"contemplate without thinking. be certain only in your uncertainty. stop the world. slow down everything. let it all be. shut off the noise. relax. seize this moment. reconnect. feel and sense what surrounds you. listen to all the colors of light whisper as they envelope you. see the melody and harmony that float about unnoticed. taste the solitude of all this wonderment. smell the beautiful silence. now discover your peaceful serenity. then, reach out and touch your faith with all your senses. this is my world. awaken!" ― bodhinku, my world
 
"my photography is my way of keeping a diary" ― bodhinku, my diary  
 
i leave you today wishing that bright joy 
and spiritual peace fill your life...
imploring you to make every moment count, 
no matter what, always and forever, 
for that is the only thing that truly matters... 
  
and above all else,
i hope this message and impression find you well.
 
namaste,
bodhi
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