"in trying to understand myself, and things that really make me glow with happiness, i created something special here...one fusion joined together from my psyche, dreams, visions, feelings, emotions, thoughts, and illuminations from the inner workings of my combined mind, heart, and soul" ― bodhinku, one fusion of me
the meaning of this impression is a direct reflection of what the word "iluminada" means, translating in english as "illuminated"...as i really need to be illuminated daily by things that are inspiring to me, things than make me smile, giggle, and glow from my deepest depths...illuminating my inner shadows, those hidden dark parts of me, personal secrets that make me who i am, even if i am not proud of them ...especially these days when i feel the world around me is dissolving in stupid lunacy...
the sunflower is one of those things that illuminates me...it is "mi iluminada flor" (my illuminated flower)...and pictured in this impression is a sunflower standing out among all the other sunflowers, illuminated (iluminada) on its own, deeply wthin its own inner radiating enlightenment...glowing so sweetly and innocently in the late evening sun shortly after dusk, with the stars rising overhead later in the wee hours of the morning as the sun was finishing its sleep and beginning its predawn rise again...in the process combining the enlightened world of the sun with the dark secret world of the stars into one image that would be impossible to see with our own eyes...
for some extra meaning, the name "iluminada" is also a girl's name in spanish, again meaning "illuminated"...but it is a distinctive, rhythmic, and lovely spanish name that suggests a glowing enlightenment from within, and often is used in affection as a name of admiration by boyfriends (nuvios) for their girlfriends (nuvias)...
and pictured here is another beautiful memory, this time from a sunflower field on the high plains of southeastern colorado...and truly i need to be in places like this, to find myself physically and spiritually in places like this, so i can become iluminada, and glow from within, and get me back into being centered on feeling joy, love, happiness and laughter in my day...
in trying to understand myself, and things that really make me glow with happiness, i created something special here...one fusion joined together from my psyche, dreams, visions, feelings, emotions, thoughts, and illuminations from the inner workings of my combined mind, heart, and soul...
so, here is the result of my efforts in this impression and blog...i hope you like it and it fills you with peace now in viewing it, just as it did for me in creating it...
and here is another song to give listen, it is a repeat from the songs of last week because it fits so wonderfully with this week's impression all the same...it is the newest song by a favorite alternative rock band of mine from akron, ohio has a bluesy mood along with lyrics so quite apropos to these unbalanced and turbulent times we are experiencing right now, another perfect accompaniment to connect music with the meaning of my my impression and blog today, this song could easily be renamed, "illuminate me", as it is entitled "shine a little light" by the black keys ... (just click on any of words in the blue links to listen to the music selection)...
"do you feel like you're the only one living on a prayer? have you ever tried to love someone who wasn't even there? no one really knows where it goes from here. but we all decompose and slowly disappear...if evil lays its hands on me, shine a little light on my soul. show me things i cannot see, shine a little light on my soul...go to places that you used to go, but they don't feel the same. see the faces that you used to know, but they forget your name...no one really knows where it goes from here. but we all decompose and slowly disappear...if evil lays its hands on me, shine a little light on my soul. show me things i cannot see, shine a little light on my soul...if evil lays its hands on me, shine a little light on my soul. i'm waiting, praying, patiently, shine a little light on my soul" ― the black keys, shine a little light
and now here are a few more quotes from bodhinku to deeper realize this meaning...
"with being a buddhist, it's weird, that i do not enjoy meditation...it's like exercise, i need to do it to stay healthy, and always feel better afterwards..."" ― bodhinku, meditation is exercise
"in sweet silence of the star light, i see her radiance glowing bright above, i feel her angelic innocence, i play in her magical wilderness...i know my focus is always up to her" ― bodhinku, bright above
"i was walking around like a blind fool in the dark hopelessly hoping beyond hope to find one that i truly loved. however, it was i that was discovered and found by her" ― bodhinku, found
"i think, even though it is going against all logic, sometimes you truly need to stop searching in order to find what you are looking for, just let yourself be found by that which you seek..." ― bodhinku, stop searching and be found
"eternally each night, she glows down freely from the heavens, but without somebody to see her, she has no meaning... his eye is what interprets her impression. his eye sees and understands her for who she is...so, his eye creates the art of her light for all to see, and captures her beauty forever...he becomes the eye of her light, he becomes her meaning...and she becomes his purpose" ― bodhinku, his eye-her light
"i need a focus on all the beauty surrounding me, i need zen, rather than any sort of focus on all the other crazy ugliness that is surrounding me, as the state of affairs where i live in the state of california is permeating into my peaceful state of mind...i need zen, it is like a beautiful prayer to my inner peace...i need to meditate more now than ever...breathe, relax, let go...refocus, re-center" ― bodhinku, i need zen
"when things flow so beautifully, with your eyes floating across waves of purple flowers, taking your mind on a journey to a majestic snow capped mountain that connects you to the stars, it's pure zen, as your spirit then rises into the milky way, to disappear in thoughts of the universe above" ― bodhinku, pure zen
"i gotta let it all go, let it be, focus instead on nature, and internalize my spiritual connection of the beauty around me, which will refreshen me again, enlightening me with the real meaning of my own nature...let that soothe me, calm me, and recenter me in peace" ― bodhinku, beautiful prayer to inner peace
"i just want to be with her full time, it's that simple for me, she is a big part of my zen...until then, my life will be full of frustrations that push me farther away from what i want...and times like now, i need to just breathe, refocus, and recenter my inner peace" ― bodhinku, big part of my zen
"this is truly zen for me...i need beautiful places like mount shasta to feed my soul and soothe my pains, emotionally and physically..." ― bodhinku, a beautiful zen
"i dislike being in a state of being where i have been finding myself not at peace within myself, becoming unbalanced and unwelcomingly frustrated lately with our world...i need zen to redistribute myself evenly once again" ― bodhinku, unbalanced
INFLUENCE OF VINCENT VAN GOGH (STORY BEHIND THIS IMPRESSION)
and to go along with this section about sunflowers and vincent van gogh, here is some beautiful, calming, serene meditation music which you can listen for as long or as short as you like, it is a live feed, so it has no beginning or end much like zen itself: pure zen meditation music (live) ...(just click on any of words in the blue links to listen to the song)...
you might not know this, but sunflowers turn to face east at night, literally go to sleep from sundown just waiting until the sun rises the next day...and during the day as young growing flowers (full grown flowers do not turn anymore, just continually face east), they are heliotropes, meaning that the face of the flower moves as it tracks to face the sun throughout the day.
the sunflower is truly the "sun's flower", and its story is so beautifully romantic...after sunset, the sunflower goes to sleep at night facing to the east, just waiting all night long in its darkness for the love of its life, the sun, to rise up and illuminate it at daybreak and capture its heart. so much so, that the sunflower slowly moves each minute throughout the day, tracking and following the sun across the entire sky until it sets in the west, when the sunflower closes up and swivels back around to the east, proceeds to go to sleep in that position, just waiting all night once more to do it all over again the next sunrise...
also, in literature, the sunflower has become a symbol of devotion and loyalty. in their various stages of decay, these flowers also remind us of the cycle of life and death...
since this is a field of sunflowers, and sunflowers were vincent van gogh's favorite flower, this is my second impression which is dedicated to the memory of vincent van gogh (the first being "vincent's dreams") ... vincent is the single greatest artist with the largest influence on me and my artistic expressions...and this impression of mine is created in a way that reflects those huge influences from him that can be found and seen with in my photography...
and, what you see here is another one of my dreams, a magical realism from the depths of my mind that is heavily inspired by the idea of what i think maybe vincent van gogh dreamed about at night: the stars and sunflowers. as these were two of his deeply favorite subjects. to paint, and he felt deep connections to both, although he never created a masterpiece of the two together as one, which i really wish he would have done...so this is my second humble attempt to do just that, put the two of them together in a composition that would be difficult at best in real life to capture in one photograph.
many times, people ask that silly question "if you could meet one person in the world and have a conversation with them, who would you chose?" i truly wish that i could have met vincent in person, and talked all night with him about life, art, nature, the stars, and sunflowers...
this impression of mine is totally inspired by vincent, not just his paintings of sunflowers and of stars, but also the artist behind the work as well, his story, so inspiring even though it is both joyful and sad at times, i can relate to his thoughts, writings, his expressions in his paintings, and how he felt and lived...i can relate to all of it and truly know how he felt, i can empathize as there are so many similarities to my life and his...i have always felt such a deep empathy for vincent...i am very much able to relate to everything i have come to understand about him, and his work will always be a huge influence on my photography...
“normality is a paved road: it’s comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow on it.” ― vincent van gogh
“when i have a terrible need of - shall i say the word - religion, then i go out and paint the stars.” ― vincent van gogh
vincent was often lost, lonely, and up and down with his emotions and moods. often questioning his art work, and his meaning in the art world, as well as in the world of life... but always had his love of nature around him and his painting of that beauty as he saw it. his passion for his artwork was there for him to turn to, to give him meaning, purpose, and raise his spirits.
"be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high. then life seems almost enchanted after all.” ― vincent van gogh
he had no children (like me) and was seen as a loner (like me as well), often off the beaten path doing his own thing (very much like me as well), regardless of what anyone else said, but he did care about what others thought of him, even though he often wrote that he did not. he was a deeply sensitive being, and so often got his hopes up, only to have them dashed, and he then turned to drinking absinthe all too often in excess to help him cope with his doubts and worries. he seemed tormented all too often, but then extremely happy at other times...but even in his deepest melancholy states, he always held his hopes and dreams, and positivity (as we read in his letters to his brother).
"i am doing my very best to make every effort because i am longing so much to make beautiful things. but beautiful things mean painstaking work, disappointment, and perseverance.” ― vincent van gogh
the color of yellow to vincent was his true expression of this hope and often a reflection of his happiness. his famous yellow house in arles in the south of france and his series of sunflower paintings are evidence of this, and both are tied permanently together with the color of yellow along with their connection to yet another artist who has been a huge influence on my photography, paul gauguin...sunflowers form a unique connection between vincent and paul as friends and as artists.
it was one of van gogh’s dreams to start an art colony in arles, based initially at his yellow house. he finally persuaded gauguin to join him in arles after theo van gogh agreed to pay for gauguin’s travel and expenses. part of van gogh’s impetus to paint the arlesian sunflowers came from his desire to decorate and prepare the studio in arles for gauguin’s arrival and stay there. he wrote to theo in 1888: “i am hard at it, painting with the enthusiasm of a marseillais eating bouillabaisse, which won’t surprise you when you know that what i’m at is the painting of some sunflowers. if i carry out this idea, there will be a dozen panels. so the whole thing will be a symphony in blue and yellow. i am working at it every morning from sunrise on, for the flowers fade so quickly.”
“you may know that the peony is jeannin's, the hollyhock belongs to quost, but the sunflower is mine in a way.” ― vincent van gogh
he continued in the letter, “in the hope of living in a studio of our own with gauguin, i’d like to do a decoration for the studio. nothing but large sunflowers.” and the sunflower image that he painted for gauguin turned out to be the single image that he was the most proud of creating. however, this happiness turned away as his expectations of the yellow house and his ideas of an art colony in arles never came to fruition with gauguin. although gauguin and van gogh did work together at the yellow house in arles, it was only briefly between october and december of 1888. van gogh and gauguin had a famously tempestuous friendship, which may explain gauguin’s reluctance to join van gogh in arles in the first place.
during his brief stay there, gauguin did manage to paint a now-famous portrait of vincent van gogh painting his sunflowers. shortly thereafter, gauguin fled arles to eventually make his home in tahiti after vincent’s deteriorating mental condition led him to slice off part of his own ear. however, while living in french polynesia, he was still inspired by van gogh's paintings, and gauguin went on to paint four more sunflower paintings of his own.
van gogh experimented with putting the sunflowers against a blue background but his later versions have yellow flowers in a yellow vase on a yellow table, against a yellow wall and yet the picture seems to radiate light. the color theories followed by the impressionists dictated that to intensify colours, one should place opposing colors next to each other – yellow next to purple for example. vincent took a huge risk and broke this cardinal rule of the impressionist painters by using complimentary colors, almost all shades of yellow plus an impressive range of techniques, from tiny pointillist dots to thick sculptural strokes
van gogh was not trying to make an exact copy of reality in his paintings. he did not use colour merely to imitate nature, but to express emotion.d.h. lawrence began his essay "morality and the novel", by taking sunflowers as an example of everything a work of art should do, that is, reveal the relation between man and his circumambient universe, in the living moment. in his sunflower painting, lawrence argued, vincent had captured “the vivid relationship between himself as a man, and the sunflower as a sunflower, at that quick moment of time..."i exaggerate, i sometimes make changes to the subject, but still i don’t invent the whole of the painting; on the contrary, i find it ready-made—but to be untangled— in the real world.” ― vincent van gogh
“at present i absolutely want to paint a starry sky. it often seems to me that night is still more richly coloured than the day; having hues of the most intense violets, blues and greens. if only you pay attention to it, you will see that certain stars are lemon-yellow, others pink or a green, blue and forget-me-not brilliance. and without my expatiating on this theme, it is obvious that putting little white dots on the blue-black is not enough to paint a starry sky.” ― vincent van gogh
MORE QUOTES FOR EXTRA MEANING
this song by a new up-and-coming alternative rock singer is another perfect accompaniment to connect music with the meaning of my my impression and blog today: "sunflower" by rex orange county ...(just click on any of words in the blue links to listen to the music selection)...
"i want to know where i can go when you're not around and i'm feeling down. so won't you stay for a moment? so i can say i, i need you so, because right now you know that nothing here's new and i'm obsessed with you...then i fell to the ground and you smiled at me and said, "i don't wanna see you cry. you don't have to feel this emptiness." she said, "i'll love you 'til the day that i die"...well maybe she's right because i don't wanna feel like i'm not me and to be honest, i don't even know why i let myself get down in the first place? try and keep my mind at bay. sunflower still grows at night waiting for a minute until the sun's seen through my eyes. make it down down, d-d-down diggy dig down, du du du du...waiting for a minute until the sun's seen through my eyes. you know you need to get yourself to sleep and dream a dream of you and i. there's no need to keep an open eye. i promise i'm the one for you. just let me hold you in these arms tonight. i'm lucky to be me and you can see it in my face back when i fucked my shit up too many times...why would i let myself get down in the first place? try and keep my mind at bay. sunflower still grows at night waiting for a minute until the sun's seen through my eyes. make it down down, d-d-down diggy dig down, du du du du...waiting for a minute until the sun's seen through my eyes and so she sat me down and told me that i didn't have to cry, she said i didn't need to get down or feel empty inside and then told me that she'll love me for as long as she's alive. and well, maybe she's right, because i hate it when i feel like i'm not me...see, i honestly, don't even know why i, i honestly don't even know why. try and keep my mind at bay. sunflower still grows at night waiting for a minute until the sun's seen through my eyes. make it down down, d-d-down diggy dig down, du du du du...waiting for a minute until the sun's seen through my eyes" ― rex orange county, sunflower
"imagine that every person in the world is illuminated except you. they are all your teachers, each doing just the right things to help you learn perfect patience, perfect wisdom, perfect compassion" ― siddhartha gautama buddha, the dhammapada
“he has no need for faith who knows the uncreated, who has cut off rebirth, who has destroyed any opportunity for good or evil, and cast away all desire. he is indeed the illuminated man" ― he dhammapada
"the way out is through the door. why is it that no one will use this method?" ― confucius
“breathe in, breathe out. all the blessings of the universe that we may overlook are contained in the entirety of a breath. breathe in, breathe out. each breath is the sun flowering our earth, fresh water filling our oceans, and the blue skies clearing our minds. infinite emotions are contained within every breath, and by the breath we can always realize the beauty within it all. breathe in, breathe out" ― lao tzu, tao te ching
"to those who ride the waves on their own seas and lose sight of the shore. who discard the rules, the labels and the chains that once bound them, in search of the truth of their heart. to the ones who are fueled by the authentic and the uncensored, no matter how gritty the taste at times....here’s to the mismatched puzzle pieces that don’t get invited to join in all the reindeer games; that get left behind in the dust to learn their own way to fly. who in their sacred solitude grace the skies with wings of freedom and a destiny born of soul fire.....to the rare, unearthly beings who walk the road less traveled, taking the adventure that rises on this path with purpose and passion. who are brought alive by the fire in their blood and the longing threaded through their being" ― c. ara campbell, an ode to the misfits
"we are no longer trapped by the webs of lies and inferiority that once held us. we are reclaiming our birthrights as divine channels of art, music, dreams and desires. and oh, how the old powers that are falling away fear us and the way we shake the foundations of the old world free from their once clutched fingers...we, the ones who howl our wild truth to the skies" ― c. ara campbell, catalysts for change
"from the moment we first enter this world we are every day each given a choice: what will we do with this gift of life we have been given? will we spend it tending only to ourselves or the well-being of others? will we answer bravely our calling or instead ignore it for what’s easy? will we settle and sit idle or rise to our highest illumination, fight for that version of ourselves that can bring most good and beauty to the wider world around us? in this life, we are each free to make this choice for our ourselves. our only responsibility is making certain it is one we can live with." ― beau taplin, the secret
"you can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep spring from coming...i love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers; thanks to your love, a certain solid fragrance risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body" ― pablo neruda, all the odes
"there is a moment in every day when it is difficult to see clearly: evening time. light and darkness blend, and nothing is completely clear nor completely dark" ― paulo coelho, the alchemist
"a man who seeks only the light, while shirking his responsibilities, will never find illumination. and one who keeps his eyes fixed upon the sun ends up blind..." ― paulo coelho, maktub
"with me, illusions are bound to be shattered. i am here to shatter all illusions. yes, it will irritate you, it will annoy you - that's my way of functioning and working. i will sabotage you from your very roots! unless you are totally destroyed as a mind, there is no hope for you." ― osho, the book of wisdom
"the sun continued to lower itself, [illuminating the lower horizon], glowing for as far as the eye could see, before finally, slowly, vanishing beneath the waves [of flowers]. the moon continued its slow drift upward, shimmering as it turned a thousand different shades of yellow, each paler than the last, before finally becoming the color of the stars" ― nicholas sparks, a walk to remember
"listen: there’s a hell of a good universe next door; let’s go" ― e. e. cummings
"love is a portion of the soul itself...and it's of the same nature as the celestial breathing of the atmosphere of paradise" ― victor hugo, les miserables
"he is one of those who has had the wilderness for a pillow, and called a star his brother. alone. but loneliness can be a communion" ― dag hammarskjold, markings
“illumination is always there. small illumination will bring great illumination. if you breathe in and are aware that you are alive—that you can touch the miracle of being alive—then that is a kind of illumination" ― thich nhat hanh, living buddha, living christ
“buddha believed that the less you judge things—including the contents of your mind—the more clearly you’ll see them, and the less deluded you’ll be" ― robert wright, why buddhism is true
"let someone love you just the way you are...as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as unaccomplished as you think you are. to believe that you must hide all the parts of you that are broken, out of fear that someone else is incapable of loving what is less than perfect, is to believe that sunlight is incapable of entering a broken window and illuminating a dark room.” ― marc hack
"you have to find what sparks a light in you, so that you, in your own way, can illuminate the world" ― oprah winfrey
"the first step to the knowledge of the wonder and mystery of life is the recognition of the monstrous nature of the earthly human realm as well as its glory, the realization that this is just how it is and that it cannot and will not be changed. those who think they know how the universe could have been had they created it, without pain, without sorrow, without time, without death, are unfit for illumination."― joseph campbell, the power of myth
"your life will change, but it will be change that takes you in the direction that, while difficult, will ultimately illuminate the world" ― richelle mead, shadow kiss
"there are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic" ― anais nin, journals
"life has shown me that everything is illuminated in the light of the past. it is always along the side of us...on the inside, looking out" ― jonathan safran foer, extremely loud and incredibly close
"suddenly i illuminate magnificently and fire dusts begin to fall off of me! i discover a smile I didn't know i had, i uncover a feeling that i didn't know existed in me... i see myself. i'm a shooting star. a meteor shower. but i'm not going to die out. i guess i'm more like a comet then, i'm just going to keep on coming back" ― c. joybell c.
"perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music, perhaps...perhaps...love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath" ― l.m. montgonery, anne of avonlea
"what is the meaning of life? that was all- a simple question; one that tended to close in on one with years, the great revelation had never come. the great revelation perhaps never did come. instead, there were little daily miracles, illuminations, matches struck unexpectedly in the dark; here was one" ― virginia woolf, to the lighthouse
"confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing" ― august wilson, fences
they won’t be here for long
sunflowers still choose to live
their brightest lives” ― rupi kaur
“keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows. it's what the sunflowers do...” ― helen keller
“out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
i'll meet you there.
when the soul lies down in that grass
“no more words. in the name of this place we soak in with our breathing, stay quiet like a sunflower. so the nightbirds will start singing.” ― jalaluddin rumi, the soul of rumi
ABOUT THE IMPRESSION
"the sunflower is truly the "sun's flower", and its story is so beautifully romantic...after sunset, the sunflower goes to sleep at night facing to the east, just waiting all night long in its darkness for the love of its life, the sun, to rise up and illuminate it at daybreak and capture its heart. so much so, that the sunflower slowly moves each minute throughout the day, tracking and following the sun across the entire sky until it sets in the west, when the sunflower closes up and swivels back around to the east, proceeds to go to sleep in that position, just waiting all night once more to do it all over again the next sunrise... " ― bodhinku, big part of my zen
in my photography, i always use filters to create longer exposure effects and to balance the light in my composition in-camera...i often use as many as four filters at time, and i always use at least one filter...for this exposure, to get the effects and balance i was looking for, i used two progrey filters in the capture of this composition...
this composition is comprised of two exposures taken in the same frame about 7 hours apart, and then merged/blended together using adobe photoshop cc to create one single frame impression...for the milky way and stars part of this composition, no filters were used...
but for the sunflower field part of this impression, to allow for a much longer exposure (10 stops) to soften the flowers (moving ever so slightly) and add extra saturation naturally in camera with all the greens and purples, i chose to used magnetic 3.0nd progrey antarctica filter combined with a 0.9 reverse gnd progrey aurora filter to help balance in-camera overall the image the way i envisioned it, and stop down the much brighter lower sky, about 3 stops brighter than the rest of the sunsetv sky, and way too bright in contrast with the flower field (for blending purposes) ...along with the progrey g-120z magnetic holder to hold both filters and secure them to my nikon d810 mounted with a nikkor 24mm f/1.4 prime lens...
i wish to openly thank my sponsors who have always supported me through both the good and bad times...for truly this long exposure impression would not be possible without the use of my trusty dolica tripods in combination with the progreyusa filters which i use with every photo i take...
"if i open my eyes, if i cry, if i think, if i sigh, if i giggle, if i dance, if i love, if i breathe, then i have lived a full days worth of life" ― bodhinku, if
"contemplate without thinking. stop the world. slow down everything. shut off the noise. relax. seize this moment. reconnect. feel and sense what surrounds you. listen to all the colors of light that envelope you. see the melody and harmony that floats about unnoticed. taste the solitude of all this wonderment. smell the beautiful silence. now discover your peaceful serenity. then, reach out and touch your faith with all your senses. this is my world. awaken!" ― bodhinku, my world
above all else as always, i hope this message and impression find you well.
please visit me at:
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