"I'm Home" by Bodhi Smith

Dec 09, 2022

"i'm home" is my new impression...
 
"being born in southern california, i always find comfort and peace on the beach, especially with my doggie by my side. and i always find heaven when i look up to the stars--finding the very place i belong under the milky way. put it all together, and here i'm home" ― bodhi, i'm home
 
"it is
right here, 
where i'm home
chilling relaxed, on
the sands of a beach, by
calm blue seas, underneath
a thatched umbrella, beneath
the planets and milky way, above
all together alone happy, with
my doggie abiding, beside
me content to just be, by
the pacific ocean, under
effervescent stars, with
not a worry, because
we're alive, for
right here,
we are
home" 
 
"if the light is in your heart, you will find your way home" ― jalaluddin rumi, words of paradise
 
"there is no place like home" ― l. frank baum, the wonderful wizard of oz
 
"home is not just where you are from, it is where you belong. some of us travel the whole world to find it. others, find it in a person" ― beau taplin, buried light
 
"there are few things pure in this world anymore, and home is one of the few...well, i've been away but now i'm back today, and there ain't a place i'd rather go" ― o.a.r., i feel home.
 
"i'm staring out into the night trying to hide the pain. i'm going to the place where love and feeling good don't ever cost a thing.well, i'm going home, back to the place where i belong...i don't regret this life i chose for me, but these places and these faces are getting old. so i'm going home" ― daughtry, home.
 
"hold on to me as we go, as we roll down this unfamiliar road. and although this wave is stringing us along, just know you’re not alone. because i’m going to make this place your home" ― phillip phillips, home.
 
"red-glowing mars,
 under the stars, 
i find my light, 
in darkness of night, 
my time of day, 
under the milky way, 
by the salty sea, 
where i can just be, 
is home for me" 
 
"we’re all just walking each other home" ― jalaluddin rumi, bridge to the soul
 
this song goes bittersweetly with my impression and blog today...it's from a musical icon and from a lifetime ago, over 37 years in 1985 (i cannot believe it's been that long ago, seems like only a couple years gone by) ... "take me home" by phil collins. ... (just click on any of the words in the powder blue links to listen to the tune and watch the video) ...

"take that look of worry, i'm an ordinary man. they don't tell me nothing, so i find out all i can. there's a fire that's been burning right outside my door. i can't see, but i feel it, and it helps to keep me warm. so i, i don't mind. no i, i don't mind. seems so long i've been waiting, still don't know what for. there's no point escaping, i don't worry anymore. i can come out to find you, i don't like to stay inside. they can't turn off my feelings like they're turning off the light. but i, i don't mind. no i, i don't mind. oh i, i don't mind. no i, i don't mind. so take, take me home. because i don't remember, take, take me home. take me home. because i don't remember, take, take me home. because i don't remember, take, take me home (oh lord)...because i've been a prisoner all my life. and i can say to you, take that look of worry, mine's an ordinary life. working when it's daylight, and sleeping when it's night. i've got no far horizons, i don't wish upon a star. they don't think that i listen, oh but i know who they are. and i, i don't mind. no i, i don't mind. oh i, i don't mind. no i, i don't mind. so take, take me home. because i don't remember, take, take me home. take me home. because i don't remember, take, take me home. because i don't remember, take, take me home (oh lord)...well, i've been a prisoner all my life and I can say to you, but i don't remember. take, take me home, because i don't remember, take, take me home..." ― phil collins, take me home.
 
"our desires to be one...it's the magic of two bodies rejoicing together the simple truth of home" ― bodhi, i'm home
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MEANING
"here i'm home. with my doggie on the beach under the stars, i don't need anything else right now, i'm home" ― bodhi, i'm home
 
between oceanside and san clemente at san onofre state beach in late october 2022, a rustic umbrella stares out to sea while basking in the glow of the milky way, the planet mars, and stars of southern california above. my god, everything is so beautiful all around, radiating in the soft heavenly light, here i'm home...and these are stars can really seen from this spot looking out to the west over the pacific ocean on a clear night late in the milky way season...
 
"home" is defined by merriam-webster as:
1.  a place where someone lives
2. a social unit formed by a family living together
3. a familiar and comfortable environment suited to one's needs; habitat
4. a place of birth or origin
 
each of these four definitions of "home" fit in meaning with my impression and blog today:
 
being born and still residing in southern california, i always find comfort and peace on the beach, especially with my doggie by my side. and i always find heaven when i look up to the stars--finding the very place i belong under the milky way. put it all together, and here i'm home...   
 
beautiful beaches like this where you can see the stars at night so magically in the sky are rare in socal (san diego, orange, los angeles, and ventura counties)...so this is a special place with where i identify, close to where i was born and live, where i feel the most at ease and at peace, a place where i'm truly home...
 
it's right here, truly this is my home...relaxing on the sandy beach by the calm sea. underneath a thatched umbrella that's beneath the planets and milky way above. all together alone happy with my doggie abiding beside me, both of us content to just be. we're by the pacific ocean, under effervescent stars with not a worry because we're alive...for right here, i'm finally home...
 
however, here i'm again, going to be a total oxymoron of meaning...sometimes i'm not content. i'm not at peace. i'm not all peachy-keen and comfortable with my life.  sometime i miss her and my poor doggie cannot fill that void. sometimes no matter where i am, i don't feel at home...
 
"i just can't wait to be in her arms and be home again where i'm supposed to be, where i belong in body, heart, mind, and soul" ― bodhi, i'm home.
 
because you see, the only thing i'm really missing is sharing my home with another special soul, a lady with who i connect spiritually, physically and emotionally...that lady of my dreams who i know, i've met her time and time again in my life, but she's just not here in my world...i want to tell her, "home is you for me, and all roads lead home"...
 
"sometimes, home has a heartbeat" ― beau taplin.
 
i sense wisps of her in the stars at night, glances of her form when the sun shines through the fog. i see premonitions of her in twisting branches of trees. i feel her on the sea-breeze through my hair. i can witness her dancing in the flow of a waterfall, and taste her in my favorite food washed down with hibiscus tea...she is here with me, inside me, filling up all my senses, but still, she is just not here...i miss her so...
 
i want to write her love letters, and poems to start her day...fill her with satisfied desire and the feeling of flying like a bird through the ups and downs in life...i want to adorn her with kisses and hold her hand whenever i can...
 
"home is you for me
knocking on the door of eternity
our hearts and souls entered that bliss
all was sealed long ago with one passionate kiss
no matter where i roam
always you are my home
my tired head rests
in the cradle of your breasts
one heart beats between our chests
coming home to your love
is truly a gift from above"
 
i want her to be the the last beautiful thing my eyes see before they close to sleep, and become the first thing they see glowing before me each time i awaken...i want to feel i'm home when i say out her name...
 
i want to sit here on this beach with her, listening to the waves gently kiss the beach, cuddling in a comforter holding each other tight, looking up at the flickering stars as they emerge into view from behind the umbrella, as we let out a simultaneous sigh together as one...
 
"one heart, one mind, one love, one place, one home" ― bodhi, i'm home.
 
this next tune from ten years ago in 2012 is the perfect song to go along with the deeper meaning found herein my impression and blog today... "home" by phillip phillips. ... (just click on any of the words in the powder blue links to listen to the tune and watch the video) ...

"hold on to me as we go, as we roll down this unfamiliar road. and although this wave is stringing us along, just know you’re not alone. because i’m going to make this place your home...settle down, it'll all be clear. don't pay no mind to the demons, they fill you with fear. the trouble it might drag you down if you get lost, you can always be found. just know you’re not alone, because i’m going to make this place your home...settle down, it'll all be clear. don't pay no mind to the demons, they fill you with fear. the trouble it might drag you down, if you get lost, you can always be found. just know you’re not alone, because i’m going to make this place your home" ― phillip phillips, home.
 
so relaxed, so calm
holding hands, two as one, home
the world's in my palm" 
 
"red-glowing mars, under the stars, i find my light, in darkness of  night, my time of day, under the milky way, by the salty sea, where i can just be, is home for me" ― bodhi, i'm home
----------------------
 
MORE QUOTES FOR EXTRA MEANING
and...this song from 27 years ago is easily in my top three favorite tunes of all time, by any artist. it was released back in the mid-1990's, a time when i was going through a difficult spell (a bad breakup with my first love) in my life during my college years in ohio, and all i wanted to do was get back here to california, to the beach, to surf, to my home. which i did the first day after i graduated college i was on the next plane back to san diego, and now i'm back, and i've never looked back in 26 years...for me, this blog would not be complete if i did not include this song...it's a perfect connection to my impression and blog today because it describes how i made it back home here to california finally, sitting on a surfboard out past the breakers waiting for my wave, looking back at the beach (paradise here in my photo) letting all my worries and memories go... "santa monica" by everclear. ... (just click on any of the words in the powder blue links to listen to the tune and watch the video) ...

"i am still living with your ghost, lonely and dreaming of the west coast. i don't wanna be your downtime. i don't wanna be your stupid game. with my big black boots and an old suitcase, i do believe i'll find myself a new place. i don't wanna be the bad guy. i don't wanna do your sleepwalk dance anymore. i just wanna see some palm trees. i will try and shake away this disease...we can live beside the ocean, leave the fire behind, swim out past the breakers, watch the world die. we can live beside the ocean, leave the fire behind, swim out past the breakers, watch the world die...i am still dreaming of your face. hungry and hollow for all the things you took away. i don't wanna be your good time. i don't wanna be your fall-back crutch anymore. i'll walk right up into a brand new day, new seen horizon in my own weird way. i don't wanna be the bad guy. i don't wanna do your sleepwalk dance anymore. i just wanna feel some sunshine. i just wanna find some place to belong...we can live beside the ocean, leave the fire behind, swim out past the breakers, watch the world die. we can live beside the ocean, leave the fire behind, swim out past the breakers, watch the world die... we can live beside the ocean, leave the fire behind, swim out past the breakers, watch the world die. we can live beside the ocean, leave the fire behind, swim out past the breakers, watch the world die...yeah, watch the world die. yeah, watch the world die. yeah, watch the world die. yeah, watch the world die" ― everclear, santa monica.
 
"there can be so many differences which can span the twin flames from age, background, location, or education that the union can seem impossible. yet there are so many eerie similarities woven through completely different lives in a myriad of ways that the pairing seems like the most natural thing in the world....there is a connection beyond all of the surface definitions, boxes and labels which permeates every layer of you. you hear the song of your twin love in a way which is impossible to describe and can be hard for others to understand. it’s a resonance never felt before with anyone....it’s like a homecoming to a place you were always looking for without ever realizing it...twin resonance is soul deep. it embraces the heart, body, mind and spirit of one another completely and fully; darkness, weirdness, magic and all" ― c. ara campbell, into the unknown
   
"men think more about returning home than about leaving" ― paulo coelho, the alchemist
 
"when you are self-conscious you are in trouble. when you are self-conscious you are really showing symptoms that you don’t know who you are. your very self-consciousness indicates that you have not come home yet" ― osho, the secret of secrets
 
"the ache for home lives in all of us. the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned" ― maya angelou, all god's children need traveling shoes
 
"look again at that dot. that's here. that's home. that's us. on it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. the aggregate of our joy and suffering, every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there-on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam" ― carl sagan, pale blue dot.
 
"every traveler has a home of his own, and he learns to appreciate it the more from his wandering" ― charles dickens, a tale of two cities
 
"but i also hoped that she had chosen california because she thought that was her true home, the place where she really belonged, where it was always warm and you could dance in the rain, pick grapes right off the vines, and sleep outside at night under the stars" ― jeannette walls, the glass castle
 
"home must always be the loveliest spot in the world, no matter what fairer lands may lie under alien stars" ― l.m. montgomery, anne of the island
 
"home's where you go when you run out of homes" ― john le carre, the honourable schoolboy
 
"i've learned that home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling" ― cecelia ahern, love rosie
 
"home isn't where you're from, it's where you find light when all grows dark" ― pierce brown, golden son
 
"she craved a presence beside her, solid. fingertips light at the nape of her neck and a voice meeting hers in the dark. someone who would wait with an umbrella to walk her home in the rain, and smile like sunshine when he saw her coming. who would dance with her on her balcony, keep his promises and know her secrets, and make a tiny world wherever he was, with just her and his arms and his whisper and her trust" ― laini taylor, daughter of smoke and bone
 
"i burst my breast, striving to give vent to sighs to express the pangs of my yearning for my home. for he who abides far away from his home is ever longing for the day he shall return" ― jalaluddin rumi, words of paradise
 
"a thousand half-loves must be forsaken to take one whole heart home" ― jalaluddin rumi, bridge to the soul
 
"you cannot hide love. love will get on its way to the heart of someone you love. far or near, it goes home to where it belongs" ― jalaluddin rumi, the essential rumi
 
"make your last journey from this strange world. soar for the heights where there is no more separation of you and your home" ― jalaluddin rumi, words of paradise
 
"my home has no address, my tracks leave no trace. i am neither body nor soul...what can i say?" ― jalaluddin rumi, the essential rumi
 
"there are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the ground; amd there are a thousand ways to go home again" ― jalaluddin rumi, bridge to the soul
 
"the soul is a stranger trying to find a home, somewhere that is not a where" ― jalaluddin rumi, bridge to the soul

"love takes away the thirst for home, because love is home" ― jalaluddin rumi, words of paradise
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ABOUT THIS IMPRESSION
"beautiful beaches like this where you can see the stars at night so magically in the sky are rare in socal...so this is a special place with where i identify, close to where i was born and live, where i feel the most at ease and at peace, a place where i'm truly home" ― bodhi, i'm home
 
although this spot at san onofre state beach has super bright lights and thus a shit-ton of light pollution to both its south (oceanside) and north (san clemente), it has no light pollution out over the pacific ocean to the west, only dark skies (and minimal, but still some light refraction from the surrounding lights, especially with salt and air pollution present here in the lower atmosphere)...
 
i've had the idea for a set of images like this one for quite awhile and researched it back in the summer, and using the app photopills on my iphone, i discovered that there actually was a small window in time when this picture could happen in middle october...
 
so, even though the colorful milky way core is higher in the sky in the late spring and summer, at this location, it's located too far south to line up with the umbrella and the dark dark skies due west out over the pacific ocean...too early in the season and the milky way would be inland, or worse, over the lights of oceanside...and too late in the season and the milky way core has already set and is beneath the horizon by the time the night sky is dark enough after the sunset and later over the lights of san clemente (usually about 1.5hrs past sunset)...
 
on the night i captured this impression (october 19, 2022), the photo was possible for only a short 33-minute window from about 7:37pm to 8:10pm, with the colorful core getting lower and lower in the sky until it set at 8:10pm...the stars in this photo were captured at 7:44pm, with the foreground and umbrella shot almost exactly an hour earlier and about 30-mins after sunset at 6:44pm...the two images were captured an hour apart in the same frame, at the same focal length (33mm), aperture (f2.8), and shutter speed (15seconds) with the only difference being the iso setting in each of the two frames...bench iso = 64, stars iso = 3200...
 
in my photography, i always use filters to create longer exposure effects, saturate colors naturally, and balance the light in my composition in-camera...i often use as many as four filters at time, and i always use at least one filter in my completed impressions...
 
to get the effects and balance i was looking for in the umbrella beach/ocean exposure of this composition (f/2.8@33mm for 15 secs, iso-64), i used two progreyusa filters  along with the progrey g-120z antarctic magnetic holder  to secure these filters to my nikon d850 with a nikon nikkor 24-70mm f/2.8 lens.... 
 
first, a 3.0nd progrey antarctica filter  to bring the light in the image down 10 stops and permit for the 11 second exposure which smooths out the waters of the ocean thus making the image more dreamy, but also at the same time easier to merge with the frame of the stars at the horizon line...plus the longer exposure naturally saturates all the blue hues in the image...
 
combined with the second filter, a 0.9 gnd progrey aurora filter  to help balance in-camera overall the image the way i envisioned it...in this case, to stop down the much brighter light in the sky, theppost-dusk light, an extra three stops and help permit details in park bench to expose properly and help bring out the details in the shadows under the bench and in the gravel and stones in the foreground to come out better in the exposure... 
 
for the separate exposure of the stars and milky way (f2.8@33mm for 15 secs, iso-3200), no filters were necessary in the star exposure, so none were used...
 
as always, i wish to openly thank my sponsors who have supported me through both the good and bad times...for truly this long exposure impression with the stars over the ocean would not be possible without the use of my induro phq3 series 5-way panhead with an induro (now benro) stealth carbon fiber tripod in combination with the progreyusa filters which i use with every photo i take...
 
"you were blessed with 84,600 seconds today, have you used one of them to say thank you?" ― bodhi, blessed 
 
"if nothing else...if i open my eyes, if i hope, if i cry, if i think, if i sigh, if i giggle, if i dance, if i love, if i breathe, then i have lived a full days worth of life...nothing is wasted, nothing" ― bodhi, if 
 
"i do not want you to just be into my photography, instead, i'd much rather you take a journey into my pictures, and feel the impression i have created, feel it with all your senses" ― bodhi, into my photo
 
"my photography is my way of keeping a diary " ― bodhi, my diary
 
"contemplate without thinking. be certain only in your uncertainty, content to be completely incomplete. stop the rush. slow down time. breathe and notice. slow down everything. let it all be. shut off the noise. hush. relax. seize this higher moment. reconnect. feel and sense what surrounds you. listen to all the colours of light whisper as they envelope you. see the melody and harmony that float about unnoticed. taste the solitude of all this wonderment. smell the beautiful silence. now discover your peaceful serenity. then, reach out and touch your faith with all your senses. this is my world. awaken!" ― bodhi, my world
 
leave you today wishing that bright joy 
and spiritual peace fill your life...
imploring you to make every moment count, 
no matter what, always and forever, 
for that is the only thing that truly matters...    
 
and above all else,
i hope this message and impression find you well.
 
namaste,
bodhi
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