"joshua's heart" a new impression release from bodhi smith
"his heart loved like no other...and like no other, turned to stone so fast, forever frozen in hardened reality, petrified from a false hope of the one who seemed so real, but was only a figment of his sentiment of fantasy" ― bodhinku, heart to stone
"...i always recognize the forces that will shape my life. i let them do their work. sometimes they tear through my life like a hurricane. i let the hurricane pass over me. sometimes they simply shift the ground under me, so that i stand on different earth, and something or someone has been swallowed up. i steady myself, in the earthquake. i lie down, and let the shock waves pass under me. i never fight. afterwards i look around me, and i say, "ah, so this at least is left for me. and that person who is me survived." i quietly inscribe on the stone tablet of my heart the name which has gone forever. the inscription is a thing of agony. then i start on my way again" ― josephine hart, damage
"he was truly the mojave now...with the love in his heart stolen, his eyes held no more water, though they still gathered their blue, reflecting the endless cloudless skies. all those happy tears that were once a welcomed oasis, now all dried up by the vast desert of her lies. those many sunshine days only cracked the skin on his face with deceit, merely forming new unforgiven wrinkles...and with the sands of time, the smiles whisked away into the wind, and his heart hardened to stone...but he was no longer unhappy" ― bodhinku, a heart of stone
and for nice extra mood as you read this blog post of mine, if you get he chance, listen to this song by the late marty balin lead singer and songwriter of jefferson starship:hearts by marty balin
"is everything alright? i just called to say how lost i feel without you. miles away i really can't believe i'm near and how i still care about you. hearts can break and never mend together. love can fade away. hearts could cry when love won't stay forever. hearts can be that way....is everything the same? do you ever think of me? and how we loved one another? will you change your mind? will you wander back again? or have you found yourself a new love?....hearts can break and never mend together. love can fade away. hearts could cry when love won't stay forever. hearts can be that way....is everything okay? i just thought i'd write a song to tell the world how i miss you, because each and every day i think of all the words i never said and all the chances that i had to....hearts can break and never mend together. love can fade away. hearts could cry when love won't stay forever. hearts can be that way. hearts can be that way...hearts can be...is everything alright?"― marty balin, hearts
"when a true love lies to you initially, you forgive and just love them...but when those lies continue over and over, you must cut the cord, let them go, and fly on your own, because they were truly not your true love...yet still, you hope beyond hope for a rebirth..." ― bodhinku, true lies
“because i cannot sleep
i make art at night.
i am troubled by the one
whose face has the color of spring flowers.
i have neither sleep nor patience,
neither a good reputation nor disgrace.
a thousand robes of wisdom are gone.
all my good manners have moved a thousand miles away.
the heart and the mind are left angry with each other.
like the stars and the moon are envious of each other.
because of this alienation,
the physical universe
is getting tighter and tighter.
the moon says, 'how long will i remain
suspended without a sun?'
without love's jewel inside of me,
let the bazaar of my existence be destroyed stone by stone.” ― jalaluddin rumi, the soul of rumi
and here is a beautifully sad tune, but it is so full of such perfect meaning for this impression, something for you to listen to as you continue to read on here... heart of stone by iko (from the movie breaking dawn pt.2)...(just click on any of words in the blue links to listen to the song)
"can you keep a secret? will you hold your hand among the flames? honey you're a shipwreck with your heart of stone...can i get a witness to the bruises and the wasted tears, if it dried a river with your heart of stone? with your heart of stone, i can breath, i can breath, water, water...i can breath, i can breath, water, water...but when you're here with me, you're not here with me...can i pry your fingers from everything i say and do? and i just can't forget you and your heart of stone... i can breath, i can breath, water, water...i can breath, i can breath, water, water...but when you're here with me, you're not here with me"― iko, heart of stone
"like a sunset, a beautiful ending can lead us beyond our horizon, to allow us discovery of new things, even amidst the darkness, the stars show us there is such beautiful light to behold” ― bodhinku, beautiful ending
as you hopefully see here, i wanted this impression to resemble a big lone heart, under the stars, with mars as a witness...
so much meaning can come from this impression, and mine is a bit darker maybe, especially being devoid of sunshine, and adding, the fact that this heart is made of stone...a big lonesome heart, left alone in the mojave to only find the love of the relentless sun in the daylight, and romance of the stars at night...turned to stone by an ancient heartbreak, but still full of hope, big hope, as the music of the desert sings its song all day long, and the milkyway paints its reflective art across the night sky...
and here is a quote frombodhinkuto give you a bit more insight into the story of possibly how this heart came to be, this heart you see here before your eyes...
"he was truly the mojave now...with the love in his heart stolen, his eyes held no more water, though they still gathered their blue, reflecting the endless cloudless skies. all those happy tears that were once a welcomed oasis, now all dried up by the vast desert of her lies. those many sunshine days really only cracked the skin on his face with deceit, merely forming new unforgiven wrinkles...and with the sands of time, the smiles whisked away into the wind, and his heart hardened to stone...but he was no longer unhappy...
so many years of deceit and betrayal, she sucked away the best from him with her lies, ripping away a chunk of his soul, making him cold, and turning his loving heart to stone
he thought, "fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, shame on me...fool me thrice with more lies, and I am what a fool believes"...
but do not be sad...you see, there is always a positive to be found in every situation, because even as his heart dried up and turned to stone, the loneliness no longer made him unhappy, instead it was welcoming company..." ― bodhinku, a heart of stone
but at the same time he is still forever and always singing this louis armstrong song:
"i see skies of blue,
and clouds of white.
the bright blessed day,
the dark sacred night.
and I think to myself,
what a wonderful world." ― louis armstrong
a strong lucid metaphor for us...because, when all is said and done, we are only here on this planet for a little while,and we must make the most of the blessing of walking our chosen path...
and as i finish this section on the meaning of this image, i must leave you with this, for i love this reflective passage written recently by inspirational writer, and visionary author, and founder of "the goddess circle" website,c. ara campbell:
"our lives are shaped by our priorities. the things we put effort and energy into are what grow and flourish. we choose in every breath and in every moment where we put our time and resources. where there is a lack, things wither and fade, like a plant void of sunlight and water....here’s the thing. we can’t make others responsible for our happiness. it’s not up to them to put 100% of their effort on us in order for us to feel worthy. but, we have a right to certain things in relationships. being made to feel like a priority in close connections is one of them. life gets crazy sometimes, it’s true. we get busy with jobs, with family, with projects. sometimes the scales of effort tip and we have to put time into passions and pursuits. this is understandable....but i’m talking about all the time. i’m talking about being chronically under appreciated. are you always the last in line? does everything get put in front of you? does even the slightest thing bump you off the list? if you’re always left begging for scraps, then you’re an option not a priority. sometimes you have to say i'm done and walk away for awhile, or even much longer. not because you don’t care, but because you’ve been caring too much. and now it’s time to put that love and energy towards yourself. you were never meant to be at the bottom of someone else’s to-do list. you were never meant to be an option in a relationship built for two. you’ve made yourself a priority and you deserve someone that will do the same....you should never have to beg for attention, affection or for love. that’s not the point of a conscious, connected relationship." ― c. ara campbell
STORY BEHIND THE IMPRESSION
and here is an old jazzy quarterflash classic tune from 1981, full of meaning, something for you to listen to as you continue to read on here...harden my heart by quarterflash...(just click on any of words in the blue links to listen to the song)
as my newest photographic impression release, this has been available for sale for quite some time here on my website, and the past couple years at my art shows, and in the gallery at lorimar winery in temecula...however, i never formally released it in a blog previously...
this impression was taken nearly two years ago year in early july 2018, along with my close friend and fellow photographer, chip morton...and without him, and chip's help and inspiration, the image you see here would not have happened at all!
...and i must apologize, but chip and i wish to not disclose the location of this scene, for fear of too many people copying this composition (which has already happened with people seeing it in my showings as well as on chip's website and then going out and finding it just to take pictures of their own)...a blatant tragedy, empty of ethics or creativity or courtesy, unfortunately "comp stomping" has been happening like rampant in the photographic world these past couple years, truly a sad state of affairs full of selfish egos and empty desires...and for that reason, regrettably, i have been no longer sharing any of my locations, or giving full camera settings, sorry...
"beyond the rational mind, the heart wants what the heart wants, even after dozens of irrational lies turn it to stone" ― bodhinku, irrational
"but remember this one thing...after a darkness that hardens us with ugly bitterness, there is always going to be a new light that will soften us with its beautiful love" ― bodhinku, remember
"me as i reflect,
her reflection is
her glowing light
the only thing,
of peace for
me as i reflect" ― bodhinku
"free from all desire, i sit quietly like earth. my silent cry echoes like thunder throughout the universe. i am not worried about it. i know it will be heard by no one, except me" ― jalaluddin rumi, the soul of rumi
"you've got a good heart, but i know it changes. a restless tide, untamable. you came my way, and i knew a storm could come too. you'd lift me high, or let me fall. but i took your hand, promised i'd withstand any blaze you blew my way. 'cause something inside, it solidified, and i knew i'd always stay. you can build me up, you can tear me down, you can try but i'm unbreakable. you can do your best, but i'll stand the test. you'll find that i'm unshakeable. when the fire's burnt, when the wind has blown, when the water's dried, you'll still find stone. my heart of stone. you say we're perfect. a perfect family. you hold us close, for the world to see. and when i say you're the only one i've ever loved, i mean those words truthfully. but i know, without my son, your love could disappear. i know it isn't fair, but i don't care, beause my love will still be here. you can build me up, you can tear me down, you can try but i'm unbreakable. you can do your best, but i'll stand the test. you'll find that i'm unshakeable. when the fire's burnt, the wind has blown, the water's dried, you'll still find stone. my heart of stone. soon i'll have to go. i'll never see him grow. but i hope my son will know, he'll never be alone. 'cause like a river runs dry, and leaves it's scars behind, i'll be by your side, 'cause my love, is set in stone. yeahhh...can't break me. you'll still find stone. my heart of stone" ― heart of stone, six the musical
"if you are quiet enough, you will hear the flow of the universe. you will feel its rhythm. go with this flow. you will notice things. the path to happiness lies ahead" ― siddhartha gautama buddha, the dhammapada
"be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. when you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you" ― lao tzu, tao te ching
"when life becomes too complicated and we feel overwhelmed, it’s often useful just to stand back and remind ourselves of our overall purpose, our overall goal. when faced with a feeling of stagnation and confusion, it may be helpful to take an hour, an afternoon, or even several days to simply reflect on what it is that will truly bring us happiness, and then reset our priorities on the basis of that. this can put our life back in proper context, allow a fresh perspective, and enable us to see which direction to take" ― dalai lama xiv, the art of happiness
“i’ve always been enchanted by the endings of things. series finales and sunsets. last paragraphs and encores. i think for the way they remind me that losing something you love isn’t always sad and heartbreaking, but sometimes breathtaking and beautiful.” ― beau taplin, buried light
"love is neither owed nor earned. it either is or it’s not. i gave you the world. but you wanted the stars" ― beau taplin, buried light
"the act of you leaving was just the full stop at the end of a terrible sentence. fact is, i lost you long before you ever left" ― beau taplin, buried light
"i am deathly afraid of almosts...of coming so very close to where i want to be in life that i can almost taste it, almost touch it, then falling just a little short" ― beau taplin, the wild heart
"i wonder if you can seek asylum somewhere from the conspiring energies of the sun and moon?...i give up....dropping my guard i give in; i don’t need the shields anymore, not where i’m going....where i tread forward, to the place of dancing openly with the unspoken as it makes its way into the light, i just don’t need all the masks. they would be unwelcome in the glaring brilliance of truth. the dress code for this party is bare, raw and naked...come what may, this is when i shall come undone" ― c. ara campbell
"dealing with endings can be very difficult...whether our choice or not, when a door closes we can feel great loss. accepting things that will never be and moving away from what is known is hard. trying to reconcile all that will never be, creating the changes that are necessary. when you reach a point where you realize that nothing you can do or say will ever alter things, you must accept the inevitable. sometimes it doesn’t make sense, but we don’t have to understand here to be here...you come to a place where you surrender, you throw your hands in the air and say i’m done. being done is powerful. in that moment, a shift occurs. we may see it as failure, but in the moment of realization of what is not working, we give birth to new desires of what we authentically want. the slate clears, and the space opens for what is meant to come in to find us. as aristotle once said, "nature abhors a vacuum," meaning that nature requires all spaces to be filled with something. it won’t remain empty. so, when we accept that something isn’t working and let go, we create space. this space is then able to be filled with something that is more in alignment with what we really need...positive affirmations can help as we move in the direction of change in our lives. by framing our thoughts in constructive ways, we can move more fully into the transformation that is occurring....affirmation for endings:
i accept what i am unable to change with grace and humility.
i surrender my expectations and release what no longer serves me or my highest good.
i honor my needs and desires and acknowledge that this is no longer the path that will take me there.
i close all doors and cut all ties with what no longer resonates with my highest good.
i move in the direction of my highest truth and joy. i create the space for what i desire to grow.
i believe in my deserving of all that i desire. i am worthy of love, happiness and joy. so it is....
transformation is an inevitable part of our paths on this planet. as we move through our lives, the road in front of us shifts. the familiar washes away and uncertainty can be left in its place. take heart. the times we walk through shadow offer us deeper clarity and remind us of what we truly desire. our lifetime is filled with experiences that are meant to change us and inspire us. there are bright times ahead. know that" ― c. ara campbell
"fantasy can be a double-edged sword...while it can provide an escape from the everyday as well as give us inspiration, it can also draw us into a world of illusion. fantasy can be a problem if we become too attached to the illusion and detached from reality. this can cause us to see people or situations in a different way other than the truth of what they authentically are. we can even put on rose-colored glasses which can obscure our vision to issues in relationships, problems or possible dangerous situations...sometimes things will never work out the way we envision, and being deeply into a fantasy can have us struggling with something not turning out the way we desire. yet we can become trapped in our beliefs of the fantasy, clinging to these thoughts out of the hopes that they become reality...being too wrapped up in fantasy isn’t healthy. we need roots. we need something real that we can sink ourselves into and grow towards...so many of us are caught up in the fantasy because it feels good. because it can give us hope...but our paths on this planet are tied to our truth. when we live from our truth, we expand and grow on our paths. fantasy can cause us to become stuck or frozen waiting for something impossible to occur. this can happen in our relationships, in our careers, or even in our friendships with others...fantasy is not sustenance for the future...we reach a point where the fantasy or illusion that we have been chasing doesn’t fulfill or sustain us. illusion has no long term nourishment. you can’t build a solid future on something make believe...on the path to releasing fantasy from our lives, watch for the cycles that don’t evolve or get solved but continue to play the same patterns over and over. this may be a sign that there is some illusion at play. this can be especially true in relationships with others. when we become aware that the same patterns keep repeating themselves without moving forward, we can begin to see that there may be something that can be hindering growth. this very well may be a situation that is shrouded in illusion and where the truth needs to be faced in order to move on....having hopes, dreams and desires for the future is important...we need to be excited about the unseen and what is to come. but fantasy can allow us to become stuck and not open to the magic than can flow into our lives if we continue to cling to any illusion. releasing fantasy is essential for nourishing the truth of our path forward. never, ever forget that you deserve something real"― c. ara campbell
"no, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! that first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! look, it is the first page! and it is a beautiful one!" ― c. joybell c
"i need to be alone. i need to ponder my shame and my despair in seclusion; i need the sunshine and the paving stones of the streets without companions, without conversation, face to face with myself, with only the music of my heart for company" ― henry miller, tropic of cancer
"there's a race of women that don't fit in, a race that can't sit still; so they break the hearts of love and kin, and they roam the world at will...they range the field and rove the flood, and they climb the mountain's crest; their's is the curse of the gypsy blood, and they don't know how to rest" ― robert service
"prayer and love are learned in the hour when prayer becomes impossible and the heart has turned to stone" ― thomas merton
"he came from somewhere back in her long ago. the sentimental fool don't see, trying hard to recreate what had yet to be created...once in her life, she musters a smile for his nostalgic tale. never coming near what he wanted to say, only to realize, it never really was...she had a place in his life. he never made her think twice...as he rises to her apology, anybody else would surely know: he's watching her go...but what a fool believes, he sees. no wise man has the power to reason away. what seems to be is always better than nothing...and nothing at all keeps sending him somewhere back in her long ago, where he can still believe there's a place in her life. someday, somewhere, she will return...but what a fool believes, he sees. no wise man has the power to reason away. what seems to be is always better than nothing...there's nothing at all...but what a fool believes, he sees" ―michael mcdonald, what a fool believes
"i had to get over her. for months now, a stone had been sitting on my heart. i'd shed a lot of tears, lost a lot of sleep, eaten a lot of cake batter...somehow, i had to move on. life would be hell if i didn't shake loose from the grip she had on my heart. i most definitely didn't want to keep feeling this way, alone in a love affair meant for two. even if she'd felt like the one. even if i'd always thought we'd end up together. even if she still had a choke chain on my heart" ― kristan higgins, all i ever wanted
"at moments like this i envy those who have found a safe haven in which to bestow their hearts; or perhaps i envy them for having a heart to bestow. i often feel that i myself am without one, and possess in its stead merely a heart shaped stone" ― margaret atwood, the handmaid's tale
"life is a lone wolf, scratching out a living with teeth and claws and a heart of stone" ― dan wells, ruins
“and must i now begin to doubt...my heart is stone, and still it trembles. the world i have known is lost in the shadows. is she from heaven or from hell? and does she know, that granting me my life, this woman has killed me..." ― victor hugo, les miserables
"the most terrible thing about lies, is not that it breaks one’s heart—hearts are made to be broken—but that it turns one’s heart to stone" ― oscar wilde, de profundis
"you don't make a photograph just with a camera. you bring to the act of photography all the pictures you have seen, the books you have read, the music you have heard, the people you have loved" ― ansel adams
can i lament
with this depressed
heart and soul
the entire space
of my soul
is burning in agony
how long can one suffer
the pain of another human
a friend behaving like an enemy
with a broken heart
how much more
can i take the message
from body to soul
i believe in love
i swear by love
i believe in my love
like a prisoner of grief
can i beg for mercy
you know i'm not
a piece of rock or steel
but hearing my story
even water will become
as tense as a stone
"knock, and love will open the door. vanish, and love will make you shine like the sun. fall, and love will raise you to the heavens. become nothing, and love will turn you into everything" ― jalaluddin rumi, the soul of rumi
and finally, here is an old rolling stones tune to hear as you finish reading my blog... heart of stone by the rolling stones...(just click on any of words in the blue links to listen to the song)
ABOUT THE IMPRESSION
"do not be sad...you see, there is always a positive to be found in every situation, because even as his heart dried up and turned to stone, the loneliness no longer made him unhappy, instead it was welcoming company..." ― bodhinku, a heart of stone
the impression which you see here is a single frame exposure, using some light painting as well as some extra imaginative lighting techniques resembling the staff of rah from indiana jones used to illuminate his path to the lost ark of the covenant...my usual star recipe was used for this exposure, this one captured at 14mm, with one filter...the 0.6gnd progrey g120 aurora filter inverted to darken the lit rock slab in the foreground 2 stops and help balance the composition in-camera...and truly this impression would not be possible without the use of my trusty dolica 70" carbon fiber tripodto stabilize the camera for this long exposure under the stars...
i wish to openly thank my sponsors who have always supported me through both the good and bad times...for truly this semi-long exposure impression would not be possible without the use of my trusty dolica tripodsin combination with the progreyusa filters which i use with every photo i take...
"how does a heart turn to stone? lie to me over and over and over and over again, and find out" ― bodhinku, stone heart
"contemplate without thinking. stop the world. slow down everything. shut off the noise. relax. seize this moment. reconnect. feel and sense what surrounds you. listen to all the colors of light that envelope you. see the melody and harmony that floats about unnoticed. taste the solitude of all this wonderment. smell the beautiful silence. now discover your peaceful serenity. then, reach out and touch your faith with all your senses. this is my world. awaken!" ― bodhinku, my world
above all else as always, i hope this message and impression find you well.
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"contemplate without thinking. be certain only in your uncertainty, content to be completely incomplete. stop the rush. slow down time. breathe and notice. slow down everything. let it all be. shut off the noise. hush. relax. seize this higher moment. reconnect. feel and sense what surrounds you. listen to all the colours of light whisper as they envelope you. see the melody and harmony that float about unnoticed. taste the solitude of all this wonderment. smell the beautiful silence. now discover your peaceful serenity. then, reach out and touch your faith with all your senses. this is my world. awaken!"