"have courage to embrace life, make every moment count no matter what, especially at times when everything seems to be falling down around you, reach out and hold on simultaneously, hang on to your rock with all your strength, wrap a smile around a giggle, persevere through, and you feel more alive than ever, trust me...” ― bodhinku, strength and courage
i'm this tree, twisted and broken, yet beautiful in my own way...i'm a solitary recluse clinging to my own cliff, all alone, hanging by a moment...yet, something so beautiful comes out of all the loneliness when the stars come out at night, and living again takes my breath away...and i'm so glad i'm alive, blessed to be lucky for all i have...
"happiness is not having what you want. it's wanting what you have" ― rabbi hyman schachtel
i embrace everything that is not perfect about me. i know it's all my imperfections that make me who i am, albeit a weird soul, i'm thankfully different from everybody else...
in our moment of truth, as we bare all in front of the universe, and give witness to who we truly are, it's really our imperfections that give us strength and makes us beautiful...our imperfections make us unique, and are often the best reason for why we are the individuals we are...
like i alluded to above, i empathize and identify with this tree...this old twisted ponderosa tree has been distorted by the persistent elements of mother nature and relentless wear and tear of father time...but in its moments to survive and weather life's changes, it continues to magically cling and hang on to the side of a cliff against all odds...giving inspiration in its perseverance to continue to fight for its right to exist, despite the overwhelming odds stacked against it...
and this tree might look broken or deformed in the eyes of some people, but i see it's those very traits that are the source of beauty and a wealth of inspiration...
too me, this tree is so breathtakingly beautiful...sending the message of the empowering realization that life is lived to its fullest when we embrace the simplicity of being imperfectly perfect, forgetting all we are lacking, being content to just be completely incomplete...loving ourselves for who we are, not where we are or who we are with in this world...
and my life is filled with these moments where i get to see such beautiful wonders in nature. i get to truly experience these wonderful moments in time, and my life is good, really good. when i reflect back on things, i see myself as lucky, and fortunate for all that i have, and all get to do and all get to see...
if someone were to ask me how i am right now, i will say: at this moment, my only problem is that i'm still me, but my biggest blessing is that i'm still me...
each morning i meditate before i start my day...i breathe in, and i breathe out. breathe in, breathe out. breathe in, breathe out...a wise person once reminded me that life is not measured by the breaths that you take, but by the moments that take your breath away...a moment in time can mean a lifetime.
looking into the mirror each morning, you need to be happy with what reflects back. happy with your glow, no matter how bright or dim. happy for all those lines from smiles and frowns, happy with the sparkle in your eyes along with the tears they shed, happy with all the reflections of your life, for better or worse...happy for that special moment in time that makes you feel alive. hoping that with your next breath, the moment will take your breath away...
and again this year, i took off off on another adventure to wherever the wind blew and the weather guided me and besos on another photo journey all summer long, just him and me while i was on summer break from teaching photography...no holidays, no birthdays to celebrate, no gifts, no lover to keep me company, no children, no real family, just a sprinkling of good friends and family scattered across the country enjoying their summers (as they should be this time of year)...just me and me dog, all alone...
for me, being all alone is by choice. but it still does not make it any easier knowing i can justify to myself that i'm lonely because of my decisions...bottom line right now, i'm all alone on my path with only my doggie to share precious moments with me. free to do whatever we please...and the sands fall in the hour glass, and the moments pass one after another...
sometimes i'm overtaken by my loneliness, and melancholy absorbs me. yet there is a strange and eerie comfort in my sadness, but i do not want to get to comfortable...
i'm happy with myself, but i want to be happier by being able to share myself with someone who wants to share themselves with me...and although hanging by a moment is so beautiful and perfect, i am greedy, i want more moments, and more moments shared...but until then, i will hope, and dream, and sigh, and be happy with my chosen path of solitude, being alone, off on an adventure on a cliff's edge in the mountains, or deep in the forest, or along a deserted beach in the morning's fog...
but sometimes, that all just falls short of what it could be, i'm always longing and hoping for the fairytale to touch my life and take it to another level of happiness...but i continue to hang on that moment and make a wish...
"and reflecting back on this moment in time, i'm really happy to be able to share this picture with so many who would never get to witness such a scene. and in doing so, you can reflect that i actually existed at this time, that i was here at this place, and that i was truly alive in this moment" ― bodhinku, a moment's reflection