Distorted Lightbeam by Bodhi Smith

Jul 09, 2021

"distorted lightbeam" a brand new impression and blog from me...
 
"my whole life has been distorted yet trusted with visions i have of romance and how perfectly loving things will be...a world dancing, laughing, filled with joy overtaking the air of every breath i take...but that light is twisted with my hope and belief in a happily ever after for me some day, someway...a distorted light i would not trade for anything, not a thing, no regrets...a beam guiding me as i continue my journey down the path from where i have been to where i need to go" ― bodhinku, distorted lightbeam
 
"distort the light beam until i like me. it isn't enough, if this is real life. i'll stick to dreaming, come see what i see. feeling like, if this is life, i'm choosing fiction...call it faith, call it fame. the fantasy's the same...when i'm dreaming tonight, i can do anything. when i'm dreaming tonight, i can go anywhere. when i'm dreaming tonight, i can be anyone" ― bastille, distorted light beam
    
"if you try to view yourself through the lenses that others offer you, all you will see are distortions; your own light and beauty will become blurred, awkward, and ugly. your sense of inner beauty has to remain a very private thing" ― john o'donohue, anam cara: a book of celtic wisdom
 
"a seeker of truth looks beyond the apparent and contemplates the hidden. what the senses perceive is only a distorted light beam. we all look for something that is not yet in existence" ― jalaluddin rumi, hush don't say anything to god  
 
"you've seen the sun flatten and take strange shapes just before it sinks in the ocean. do you have to tell yourself every time that it's an illusion caused by atmospheric dust and light distorted by the sea, or do you simply enjoy the beauty of it?'― john steinbeck, sweet thursday
 
"this new song [colorado] is about turning lows into highs. when you're feeling down, there's always one thing you can count on and that is getting high with your friends. life gets overwhelming and sometimes you have to push away your sorrow and get back to it tomorrow" ― clemens rehbein (lead singer of milky chance)
 
"without the dark there isn’t light. without the pain there is no relief. and i remind myself that i’m lucky to be able to feel such great sorrow, and also such great happiness. i can grab on to each moment of joy and live in those moments because i have seen the bright contrast from dark to light and back again. i am privileged to be able to recognize that the sound of laughter is a blessing and a song, and to realize that the bright hours spent with my family and friends are extraordinary treasures to be saved, because those same moments are a medicine, a balm. those moments are a promise that life is worth fighting for, and that promise is what pulls me through when depression distorts reality and tries to convince me otherwise" ― jenny lawson, furiously happy
 
this song is the newest release from a wonderful alternative rock band, a tune that is strikingly more profound from all its predecessors...and this is a band whose founding member and lyricist has a name so close to mine in "dan smith" (for those of you who do not know me intimately, my birth name is dana "bodhi" smith) that it would be really hard for me not to love this band...they are named after the date of his birthday on July 14th (in a couple days from now) which is the famous "bastille day" in france ....and with its apropos lyrics, plus being entitled the exact same as my impression here before you today, it's the perfect accompaniment to connect music with the meaning of my impression and blog today: "distorted light beam" by bastille ... (just click on any of the words in the blue links to listen to the musical selection)....

"it isn't enough to start a riot. distort the light beam until i like me. it isn't enough, if this is real life. i'll stick to dreaming, come see what i see. feeling like, if this is life, i'm choosing fiction. oh-oh, oh-oh call it faith, call it fame. the fantasy's the same, uh. when i'm dreaming tonight, i can do anything. when i'm dreaming tonight, i can go anywhere. when i'm dreaming tonight, i can be anyone. so don't wake me up, don't wake me up. when i'm dreaming tonight, i can do anything. when i'm dreaming tonight, i can go anywhere. when i'm dreaming tonight, i can be anyonе. so don't wake me up, don't wake mе up...levelling up, delete my history. choose how you see me and the future's easier. leveling up, in here, i'm winning. defeat the big boss, game over, your loss. feeling like this ain't life, i'm choosing fiction. oh-oh, oh-oh call it faith, call it fame. the fantasy's the same so when i'm dreaming tonight i can do anything. when i'm dreaming tonight, i can go anywhere. when i'm dreaming tonight, i can be anyone. so don't wake me up, don't wake me up. when i'm dreaming tonight i can do anything. when i'm dreaming tonight, i can go anywhere. when i'm dreaming tonight, i can be anyone. so don't wake me up, don't wake me up...will I ever, will i ever, will i ever wake up? hope i never wake up, i never get tired. no, no, no, no, no. no, no, no, no, no...when i'm dreaming tonight, i can do anything. when i'm dreaming tonight, i can go anywhere. when i'm dreaming tonight, i can be anyone. don't wake me up, don't wake me up...when i'm dreaming tonight, i can do anything. when i'm dreaming tonight, i can go anywhere. when i'm dreaming tonight, i can be anyone. so don't wake me up, don't wake me up. when i'm dreaming tonight, i can do anything. when i'm dreaming tonight, i can go anywhere. when i'm dreaming tonight, i can be anyone. so don't wake me up, don't wake me up. and when i'm dreaming, i can do anything. so here i go" ― bastille, distorted light beam    
 
"look at little children in kindergarten. they’re all different without trying to be. as long as they’re unselfconsciously being themselves, they can’t help but shine. it’s only later, when children are taught to compete, to strive to be better than others, that their natural light becomes distorted" ― marianne williamson
 
"i guess that sometimes it just takes a long walk through the darkness, a long walk through the darkest shadows and corners of your soul to realize that those are a part of you as well, that you've created through your experiences and thoughts those parts within yourself and as much as you can choose to fear them and repress them, they will require your attention one day, they will need your care and acceptance before you can clean them away and turn the lights on. for you refuse to shine the light on something that is imperfect, because you fear judgement and rejection, but you can always choose to look towards the light as the only source of true beauty and love that can help you in the cleaning process. healing, after a long time of struggle and mess is a complex process, but a necessary one nevertheless. we are so overwhelmed by the amount of work it requires that we so often choose to run away from the light, hide in our dark corner and hope that we will never be found, hope that we will never be seen, or desperately look outwards for that love and compassion that we can no longer find within ourselves, for our soul's light no longer shines as it used to. and sometimes we just find those people that can see the light beneath all that dust and darkness that's been pilled up, those kind of light workers that understand our broken souls and manage to pick us up and see the beauty within us, when we find it so hard to see it ourselves. sometimes i get so tired of separation, of division, of groups and different religions and belief systems. even if you do find the truth, once you've put it into words, books and rules it already becomes distorted by the mind into something that is no longer truth. so i no longer hope for understanding, no longer hope for the opinion of a judgemental mind, but i hope to find the words that touch the soul before the mind, i hope to find the touch that warms the heart from deep inside, and hope to find that far away abandoned part of me which i've left behind" ― virgil kalyana mittata iordache
 
"living is like being chained at the bottom of a shallow pond with my eyes open and no air. i can see distorted images of happiness and light, even hear muffled laughter, but everything is out of my reach as i lie in suffocating agony. if death is the opposite of living, then I hope death is like floating" ― katie mcgarry, dare you to
 
"i look forward to the day when we can meet one another in our true nakedness, stripped free of unresolved emotions, pain-induced projections, the distortions of duality. for too long we have been on opposite sides of the river, the bridge between our hearts washed away by a flood of pain. but the time has come to construct a new bridge, one that comes into being with each step we take, one that is fortified with benevolent intentions and authentic self-revealing. as we walk toward one another, our emotional armor falls to the ground, transforming into the light at its source. and when we are ready, we walk right into the godself at the center of the bridge, puzzled that we ever imagined ourselves separate" ― jeff brown, love it forward
 
"dualistic thinking is a sickness. religion is a distortion. materialism is cruel. blind spirituality is unreal. chanting is no more holy than listening to the murmur of a stream, counting prayer beads no more sacred than simply breathing, religious robes no more spiritual than work clothes...if you wish to attain oneness with the universe, don't get caught up in spiritual superficialities. instead, live a quiet and simple life, free of ideas and concepts. find contentment in the practice of undiscriminating virtue, the only true power. giving to others selflessly and anonymously, radiating light throughout the world and illuminating your own darknesses, your virtue becomes a sanctuary for yourself and all beings. this is what is meant by embodying the tao" ― lao tzu, hua hu ching
 
"the moment you know, you destroy all poetry. the moment you know, and think that you know, you have created a barrier between yourself and that which is. then everything is distorted. then you don’t hear with your ears, you translate. then you don’t see with your eyes, you interpret. then you don’t experience with your heart, you think that you experience. then all possibility of meeting with existence in immediacy, in intimacy, is lost. you have fallen apart" ― osho, book of wisdom
 
"if you force yourself to be the same as everyone else, it causes neuroses, psychoses, and paranoia. it's a distortion of nature, it goes against natural laws...for in all the world's woods and forests, mother nature did not create a single leaf the same as another. but you think it is insane to be different" ― paulo coelho, veronika decides to die
 
"i have laughed
more than daffodils
and cried more than june" ― sanober khan, turquoise silence 
 
"do you want to know what's sexy? effort. honesty. presence. keeping promises. connection. deep conversation. wanting a future and not just filler. anyone can take their clothes off; i want you to take off your armor and lay down your shield. my soul longs to intimately know yours" ― c. ara campbell
 
"the language of signs is there before us, to teach us the best way to act. but many times we try to distort those signs so that they 'agree' with what we wanted to do in the first place" ― paulo coelho, maktub
 
"don't let expectations distort reality. you would be wasting too much pery precious time" ― jalaluddin rumi, bridge to the soul 
 
"life's illumination is really a distorted lightbeam...you have to be able to untwist it and figure out how exactly to focus on the most blurred area, because it's there where you'll discover the essence of clearest vision to guide and enlighten you  " ― bodhinku, distorted lightbeam
----------------------
 
MEANING
"i would rather have a distorted vision become clear, than a clear vision become distorted" ― bodhinku, distorted vision
 
walking amongst these beautifully distorted and twisted aspen trees in colorado, you cannot help but look at them as if they are looking back at you, dancing both together and by themselves in the faint shadows of their peers...this made me contemplate my own life, and how twisted and distorted my life is sometimes, yet how it always remains a lovely dance with lifelong steps which i would never trade for anything....
 
my whole life has been distorted yet trusted with visions i have of romance and how perfectly loving things will be...a world dancing, laughing, filled with joy overtaking the air of every breath i take...but that light is twisted with my hope and belief in a happily ever after for me some day, someway...a distorted light i would not trade for anything, not a thing, no regrets...a beam guiding me as i continue my journey down the path from where i have been to where i need to go...
 
life's illumination is really a distorted lightbeam...you have to be able to untwist it and figure out how exactly to focus on the most blurred area, because it's there where you'll discover the essence of clearest vision to guide and enlighten you...
 
and here is another deeply profound tune which bridges meaning to these trees in my picture, an impression that was captured in high up in colorado...this is the newest release from the german trio, milky chance...read the lyrics and you will be able to connect this tune to my image...in the words of the band's vocalist clemens rehbein, "this song is about turning lows into highs. when you're feeling down, there's always one thing you can count on and that is getting high with your friends. life gets overwhelming and sometimes you have to push away your sorrow and get back to it tomorrow"...emotion so similar to that which i hope my newest image here conveys... "colorado" by milky chance  ... (just click on any of words in the blue links to listen to the song)...  

"i get high like colorado. we had it all, but what do i know. i try to push away the sorrow, but today it's too late, i'll try tomorrow. yeah yeah, yeah yeah...i think that you were kind of mean. you just replaced me in the scene. i thought that we were evergreen, like a never-ending dream. never been on the tv. scratched me off of your cv (resume). out of your mind, out of your mind. never been so uneasy. jealousy got me freaky out of my mind. so i get high like colorado. we had it all, but what do i know. i try to push away the sorrow, but today it's too late, i'll try tomorrow. yeah yeah, yeah yeah...i'm losing sleep all by myself. i'm wide awake and i just wonder how you put my heart back on the shelf. well, i'm gonna be a loner now. never been on the tv. scratched me off of your cv (resume). out of your mind, out of your mind. never been so uneasy. jealousy got me freaky out of my mind. so i get high like colorado. we had it all, but what do i know. i try to push away the sorrow, but today it's too late, i'll try tomorrow. yeah yeah, yeah yeah...drowning in my sofa with my blood shot red eyes. riding rollercoaster till i see the sunrise. i get high like colorado. i get high, i get high. we had it all, but what do i know. i try to push away the sorrow, but today it's too late, i'll try tomorrow. yeah yeah, yeah yeah, i get high like colorado, colorado, colorado, colorado. i get high like colorado..." ― milky chance, colorado  
 
"dancing beam of light
distorted into the night
unfocused and unclear 
but see it and hear
with both ear and eye
view its song and fly
and then let it be 
for the vision you'll see
will sound you free
knowing the blurred sight
is black and white
to where all is right" ― bodhinku, distorted light beam 
----------------------
 
ABOUT THE IMPRESSION
"the tree tops whisper your name when i'm missing you the most. your shadow is observing me... their dance into the night reminds me how much more my life glows in your presence" ― bodhinku, glows  
 
captured 11 mins before sunrise in a forest of aspen trees along the ophir pass in colorado at 5:55am on june 30, 2021...this composition is comprised entirely of one semi-long exposure (f/11@44mm for 11secs, iso-64)...and this single frame was not merged with any other exposures like i often do with my photography to achieve the perfect lighting of the entire scene...  
 
in my photography, i always use filters to create longer exposure effects, saturate colors naturally, and balance the light in my composition in-camera...i often use as many as four filters at time, and i always use at least one filter in my completed impressions...
 
for this exposure, to get the effects and balance i was looking for, i used two progreyusa filters in the capture of this composition, a 3.0 nd progrey antarctica filter to bring the pre-dawn light in the image down 10 stops to naturally saturate all the blues and greens in the image, and a 0.9 gnd progrey aurora filter to help balance in-camera overall the image the way i envisioned it...in this case, to stop down the brighter morning light of the upcoming sunrise at top of the image an extra three stops and help permit details in the shadows amongst the aspen trees come out better in the exposure...
 
i also used the progrey g-120z magnetic holder to hold the filters and secure them to my nikon d810 with a nikon nikkor 24-70mm f/2.8... 
 
and with this being a quasi-long exposure of 11 seconds, a stable and sturdy tripod is an absolute necessity in order to keep the image sharp...for this i used my faithful induro phq3 series 5-way panhead mounted on my induro carbon fiber tripod, because it is light weight, sturdy, tall, and perfectly compact for travelling...
  
i wish to openly thank my sponsors who have always supported me through both the good and bad times...for truly this long exposure impression would not be possible without the use of my faithful induro phq3 series 5-way panhead with tripod in combination with the progreyusa filters which i use with every photo i take...
 
"if nothing else...if i open my eyes, if i cry, if i think, if i sigh, if i giggle, if i dance, if i love, if i breathe, then i have lived a full days worth of life...nothing is wasted, nothing" ― bodhinku, if nothing else
 
"i do not want you to just be into my photography, instead, i'd much rather you take a journey into my pictures, and feel the impression i have created, feel it with all your senses" ― bodhinku, into my photography
 
"contemplate without thinking. be certain only in your uncertainty. stop the world. slow down everything. let it all be. shut off the noise. relax. seize this moment. reconnect. feel and sense what surrounds you. listen to all the colors of light whisper as they envelope you. see the melody and harmony that float about unnoticed. taste the solitude of all this wonderment. smell the beautiful silence. now discover your peaceful serenity. then, reach out and touch your faith with all your senses. this is my world. awaken!" ― bodhinku, my world
 
"my photography is my way of keeping a diary" ― bodhinku, my diary  
 
i leave you today wishing that bright joy 
and spiritual peace fill your life...
imploring you to make every moment count, 
no matter what, always and forever, 
for that is the only thing that truly matters...    
 
and above all else,
i hope this message and impression find you well.
 
namaste,
bodhi
-------------------------------------------------
 
please visit me at:
 
#inspiration #aspen #trees #colorado #forest #progreyusa #induro #nikon #d850 #lowepro #columbia #dance #quaking #distorted #light #beam #believe #dream #faith #namaste #impressionist #expressionist #surreal #bodhinku #rumi #coelho #osho