Death Becomes Heaven by Bodhi Smith

May 21, 2021

"death becomes heaven" a brand new impression and blog from me...
 
"walking through the valley of death, i see the infinity of heaven open up...i realize that it's only through death that we can we truly know what becomes of us" ― bodhinku, death becomes heaven
     
"seems like it's when i'm surrounded by nothing living, no other living creatures or people around, when i'm the most alive. to me, that's pure heaven" ― bodhinku, i'm most alive 
 
"no one wants to die. even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. and yet death is the destination we all share. no one has ever escaped it. and that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. it's life’s change agent. it clears out the old to make way for the new. right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true. your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. don’t be trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. and most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. they somehow already know what you truly want to become" ― steve jobs
 
"when you're sad and when you're lonely, and you haven't got a friend, just remember that death is not the end. and all that you've held sacred, falls down and does not mend, just remember that death is not the end...when you're standing on the crossroads that you cannot comprehend, just remember that death is not the end. and all your dreams have vanished and you don't know what's up the bend, just remember that death is not the end...when the storm clouds gather 'round you, and heavy rains descend, just remember that death is not the end. and there's no one there to comfort you, with a helping hand to lend, just remember that death is not the end...the tree of life is growing where the spirit never dies. and the bright light of salvation shines in dark and empty skies...just remember that death is not the end" ― bob dylan, death is not the end
 
"the lord is my shepherd, i shall not want. he maketh me to lie down in green pastures. he leadeth me beside the still waters. he restoreth my soul, he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake...yea, though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil for thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff they comfort me...thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. thou anointest my head with oil, my cup runneth over. surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life" ― king david, psalm 23 of the old testament
 
"if each day falls
inside each night,
there exists a well
where clarity is imprisoned

we need to sit on the rim
of the well of darkness,
and fish for fallen light
with patience" ― pablo neruda, i explain a few colorful things
 
"looking at the stars always makes me dream, as simply as i dream over the black dots representing towns and villages on a map. why, i ask myself, shouldn’t the shining dots of the sky be as accessible as the black dots on the map? just as we take a train to get to another city, we take death to reach a star. we cannot get to a star while we are alive any more than we can take the train when we are dead. so to me it seems possible that diseases like cancer are the celestial means of locomotion. just as steamboats, buses and railways are the terrestrial means...to die quietly of old age would be to go to these places on foot" ― vincent van gogh    
 
"as i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i take a look at my life, and realize there's nothin' left...fool, death ain't nothing but a heart-beat away...tell me why are we so blind to see, that the ones we hurt are you and me?" ― coolio, gangsta's paradise
 
"in death's steps there spring up bright creations that defy his power, and his dark path becomes a way of light to heaven" ― charles dickens, the old curiosity shop
 
“heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads" ― henry david thoreau, walden  
 
"earth's crammed with heavenly thoughts...but only he who sees, takes off his shoes" ― elizabeth barrett browning, aurora leigh
 
"if you concentrate always on the present, you'll be a happy person. you'll see that there is life in the desert, that there are stars in the heavens...life will be a party for you, a heavenly festival, because life is the moment we're living right now” ― paulo coelho, the alchemist 
 
"i don’t need to go to heaven or hell. i have been both places and always wanted more. i will settle for somewhere in between, so eternity never becomes dull and every miracle is something i never take for granted" ― shannon l. alder
 
for deeper meaning, a profound connection to my impression here today, truly hear the lyrics and melody of this tune...give it a good ear and listen to this, for it's an exquisitely beautiful song... "all this and heaven too" by florence + the machine ... (just click on any of words in the blue links to listen to the song)...  

"and the heart is hard to translate, it has a language of it's own. it talks in tongues and quiet sighs. and prayers and proclamations in the grand days of great men and the smallest of gestures in short shallow gasps...but with all my education, i can't seem to commend it. and the words are all escaping me, and coming back all damaged. and i would put them back in poetry, if I only knew how, i can't seem to understand it. and i would give all this and heaven too. i would give it all if only for a moment that i could just understand the meaning of the word you see. because i've been scrawling it forever, but it never makes sense to me at all...and it talks to me in tiptoes and sings to me inside. it cries out in the darkest night and breaks in the morning light... but with all my education, i can't seem to commend it. and the words are all escaping me, and coming back all damaged. and i would put them back in poetry, if I only knew how, i can't seem to understand it. and i would give all this and heaven too. i would give it all if only for a moment that i could just understand the meaning of the word you see. because i've been scrawling it forever, but it never makes sense to me at all...no, words are a language. it doesn't deserve such treatment. and all my stumbling phrases never amounted to anything worth this feeling. all this heaven never could describe such a feeling as i'm healing, words were never so useful. so i was screaming out a language that i never knew existed before" ― florence + the machine, all this and heaven too   
 
"for just one reason so clear to me now, my life over the past couple of years has become more and more spiritual. my passions have come alive and i am full of more love in my heart than i ever ever thought possible...i have recovered emotionally, spiritually, and metaphysically. and i now notice all these signs from the universe. i have no expectations. i look forward to nothing except my next breath...i know my place. i know my path. i love my journey. i am no longer sleepwalking through life. i am awakened. i see. i love. i trust. i understand. i smile. i live. i believe. i am amazed. i am fascinated once again. i am all alive like the teenage romantic inside of me. i am at peace. i am cosmically connected finally. i am thankful for that one reason: i have learned to just let things be, accepting what is truly real, embracing what is important and letting go of everything else...such a huge weight is released from my chest...embracing reality and letting go of fantasy is truly heaven" ― bodhinku, letting go is heaven  
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MEANING
"metaphorically, life always meets death, and then becomes some version of heaven, so don't worry about it. death is inevitable. it's going to happen to each of us in our due time. but before it does: live, live, and live so more! make the most of each second of time you have, waste nothing, make each moment count..." ― bodhinku, death becomes heaven  

this impression really has a couple of meanings, one direct and others a bit deeper in metaphor...
 
first, literally it's an image of death valley with the stars and heaven above it, as you look at the image and take a journey through it, death becomes the stars/heaven...
 
but along with that, it's a beautiful metaphor of the idea that death is not the end. because even in the desolation of death valley, heaven and the stars still meet the earth at the horizon...
 
metaphorically, life always meets death, and then become some version of heaven...
 
as i'm walking through the valley of death, i see the infinity of heaven open up...and i realize that it's only through death that we can we truly know what becomes of us...
 
just as badwater basin in death valley is a point on the map of our earth, death is just a point on the infinite map of time. and time goes on with or without us. and it cannot be described in words exactly what that timeline after death is like. it can only be felt and known, so the only way to know what time will be like after death for each of us is to experience it...
 
so do not worry about it, death is inevitable. it's going to happen to each of us in our due time. but before it does: live, live, and live so more! make the most of each second of time you have, waste nothing, make each moment count...
     
and for me, it seems like it's when i'm surrounded by nothing living, no other living creatures or people around, when i'm the most alive. to me, that's pure heaven, even in a place named after death, i am living the happiest life i love...
 
so, death also is something necessary for any beautiful heaven to happen, especially with respect to relationships... 
 
"do you read the bible brett? well, there's this passage i've got memorized, sort of fits this occasion. ezekiel 25:17. the path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. and i will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. and you will know i am the lord when i lay my vengeance upon you" ― quentin tarentino, pulp fiction (jules winnfield dialogue)
 
sometimes you need a relationship to just die before you can even hope to find a heaven beyond your fears...its death leads to heaven, that death becomes heaven 
 
so, here i go now on a rant about a really ugly relationship that i had recently, one that needed to find its death in 2020 before i ever could find a hopeful heaven one day...and hindsight is 20/20 in so many ways...
 
so, in 2016 i got into an affair with a married lady (i know, i know). for the sake of this writing, i will call her "db"...she told me she was separated from her estranged husband. she promised me she was in the process of getting a divorce from him (i know, i know)...
 
but divorce was something that could never happen for db, something that would never happen...she constantly told me all the perfect lies i needed to hear, lies full of half truths. she was dangling the carrot out in front of me, and i was the jackass that would never be able to reach it and get it. perfectly manipulating me to keep me around, keep me from leaving her, telling me all her darkest fears of being abandoned and left alone...

yeah, really, i believed all her bullshit for years, chasing that carrot hoping it would lead to a beautiful "one day" for the two of us...i was a stupid sap of an idiot manipulated expertly by her to believe in the unbelievable, letting me hope beyond hope for the fairytale to become true...
 
when in sad reality, i was always going to be the lonely guy on the outside looking in, that dip-shit loner looking in the window of the happy home without a hope of being invited to become a part of the family...i was photographer robert kincaid (portrayed expertly by clint eastwood) in the great movie "the bridges of madison county"  left standing sadly in the rain, to drive away alone as she chose her family (but at least francesca was always forward and honest with robert)...
 
regrettably, i was never welcome in db's real world, never welcomed into her real family, into what was the most important part of her life...sadly, i was just a hidden person db used for sex and money...
 
i was a secret, always hidden, and not real in her real world...i was the guy she kept around to play with and get all the things db wanted that were lacking in her life...db wanted to have the best of both worlds, mine and her husband's.

so, instead she was controlling me. manipulating me to drop close friendships (especially any that involved females), db was trying to isolate me from all those i loved, friends and love ones who rightfully and logically questioned her motives. i was left to be alone, so lonely while i was waiting on the next moment i would see her. she would see me only for a couple hours a week, promising more time with me in the future. it was emotional abuse in the form of neglect. she took away parts of me piece by piece...she was putting me on an island with no support so she could better control me and get what she wanted out of me...
 
it's crazy ironic that those of us with degrees in psychology are the most susceptible victims of its use on us in a relationship...
 
i see now that db was clearly gaslighting me...for those without a psych degree, gaslighting is a tactic in which a person, in order to gain more power, makes their lover question true reality...gaslighters, try to control you through manipulation. they will often accuse you of behaviors that they are engaged in themselves. this is a classic manipulation tactic...

gaslighting uses a series of manipulation tactics created to discredit you, keep you off-balance, and have you question your reality. the gaslighter uses these tactics in order to get control over you...gaslighting tactics include: (1)  blatantly lying, especially lies that were full of partial truths...(2) splitting—pitting you against friends or family members....(3) working to align others against you, telling others that you are crazy, unstable, or manipulative...(4) lying about things they said and did, even though you swear those things happened...(5) telling you they don’t like your friends—but for vague reasons.
 
and many gaslighters cheat in relationships, yet they accuse their victims of cheating...accuse their victims of manipulation, when they are the ones who manipulate...
 
gaslighters will accuse others of actions—even when there is direct evidence that they are engaging in those same behaviors. so why do gaslighters do this? they are doing pre-emptive strikes and/or are projecting...and it works much better than you may think. anyone is susceptible to gaslighting, and it is a common technique of abusers, dictators, narcissists, and cult leaders. it's done slowly, so the victim doesn't realize how much they've been brainwashed...

db did this to masterful perfection with the accompaniment of projection...projection refers to unconsciously taking unwanted emotions, insecurities, or traits you don’t like about yourself and attributing them to someone else...a common example is a cheating spouse who suspects their lover is being unfaithful... instead of acknowledging their own infidelity and lies, they transfer, or project, this behavior onto their partner, feeling they are doing the same deceitful things as they are...db projected her lies and deceit on me, her extra infidelities towards me, all full of jealousy with unbearable times when she tried to make me out to be the evil one...
 
gaslighting combined with projection is just awful psychological and emotional manipulation...the tools of a beautiful but evil narcissist who only cares about herself and getting what she wants...and knowing she will get her way, as db always has...ever want to say "fuck you" to someone you could never say it too??? can you hear me?
 
that relationship needed to die...had to find its death before i could ever hope of finding my heaven again...i had wrongly thought i had found heaven in db, but it was all just one huge enormous lie, wrapped around thousands of lies encased in manipulation to make it all seem real...when in reality, it was all just a fantastic illusion thriving off my fantasies of hope and the dream of a beautiful fairy tale with a happy ending one day...
 
our relationship found its death on my birthday last year, finally. db was accusing me of all the things she was doing in her life, and i hit a wall and cut her off, refused to speak to her again, as i should have done years before...db was laying the foundations for blame so that she could turn the tides on me and really accuse me in the end for her own actions, justifying herself, when in reality, she was just a narcissist...so, i just quit her, and dropped her power over me...
 
death becomes heaven, and as that relationship died, it opened up the door for me to find real truthful joy, a path to truth and a real life based in real truth, and not a fantasy built on illusions and the lies of a controlling and manipulative narcissist...but i do not regret meeting db, it was a necessary path to learning and realization that i needed to take. without db putting me through hell, i could never have been able to find my current path toward a heaven in the future...(rant ends)...
 
"sometimes you need a relationship to just die before you can even hope to find a heaven beyond your fears...its death leads to heaven, that death becomes heaven" ― bodhinku, listening to the signs  
 
this song has wonderfully beautiful meaning and connections to my impression here today, listen and achieve it... "heaven" by live ... (just click on any of words in the blue links to listen to the song)...
  
"you don't need no friends to get back your faith again. you have the power to believe. another dissident, take back your evidence. it has no power to deceive. i'll believe it, when i see it for myself. i don't need no one, to tell me about heaven. i look at my daughter, and i believe. i don't need no proof when it comes to god and truth. i can see the sunset and i perceive...sit with them all night, and everything they say is right. but in the morning, they were wrong...i'll be right by your side, come hell or water high. down any road you choose to roam...i'll believe it, when i see it for myself. i don't need no one, to tell me about heaven. i look at my daughter, and i believe. i don't need no proof when it comes to god and truth. i can see the sunset and i perceive...yeah, darling i believe, oh. sometimes it's hard to breathe, oh lord. at the bottom of the sea, yeah yeah. i'll believe it, when i see it for myself. i don't need no one, to tell me about heaven. i look at my daughter, and i believe. i don't need no proof when it comes to god and truth. i can see the sunset and i perceive...i don't need no one, to tell me about heaven. i look at my daughter, and I believe. i don't need no proof when it comes to god and truth. i can see the sunset, i can see the sunset, i can see the sunset. i don't need no one, oh yeah. i don't need no one. i don't need no one. i don't need no one, to tell me about heaven, no. i believe" ― live, heaven
 
"you are everything everywhere...my spirit rises up in your light, my heart blossoms in your colors, and my soul is born into your shade" ― bodhinku, everything everywhere      
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MORE BODHIKU QUOTES
and now here are a few more quotes from bodhinku from past blogs to help add to the deeper meaning of this blog today...
 
"all of this which is happening is just a tiny insignificant moment in time...what is more significant is what you have inside of yourself, that is all that is beautiful...find it, realize it, and listen to that inner voice, because you will find the truth inside of you...let go, accept, and just love what you have now, and who you are inside...that is the message and deeper meaning" ― bodhinku, a truth inside 
 
"i had a dream of you last night, i was all alone in the desert, surrounded by darkness on a desolate playa, and then you came to me and gave me light, you were the glowing milky way...i knew it was you, for you had all the brightest of the heavenly bodies inside you, and something of this sort of certainty come but once in a lifetime" ― bodhinku, i had a dream   
 
"i was lost in such a dark place, i lost my focus entirely. not sure of anything anymore for i no longer could see clearly, lost my sight of everything, could not even see the hand right in front of my face...ironically it was my darkness that showed me my light...sometimes you need the darkness, and i needed to be where i was surrounded by pitch blindness, so i could rediscover the importance of light, and understand the magnitude of seeing again...i needed to see the light clearly when she entered my darkness, for then i knew my focus, where i needed to go, where i wanted to go, knew the importance of seeing again as everything brightened. everything became more clear, more vivid as i got closer, closer to my enlightenment...through the darkness i finally found my light" ― bodhinku, light in the dark
 
"the transition of twilight is so unique, that time we call blue hour...it's where i find my peace under the light of a billion stars, glowing and flickering like fireflies rising up in the night sky as the sun sets..." ― bodhinku, my peace
 
"it is truly all about you, do what is best for yourself, that which you know as real truth in your own heart, and you will truly help out everyone around you, everyone else in this world will benefit for your own selfish decision to believe in yourself..." ― bodhinku, believe in yourself  
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STORY BEHIND THIS IMPRESSION
"with the right amount of light, even the darkest of darkness glows on death as it touches heaven" ― bodhinku, death becomes heaven
 
taken under a nearly new moon sky on 05-09-2021, pictured here is a scene from death valley in the mojave desert, very very far away from any people and civilization...this is a remote wilderness area of the park and is only accessible via dirt roads and 4wd...an unforgiving and desolate area far below sea level where there is no internet, no cell phone coverage, no technology, no traffic, no other vehicles...
 
i loved being here, being disconnected from the world again for a spell, and yet so reconnected to nature, seeing a part of the wild world untouched by man, as it has been for millions of years here...not another soul for miles and miles, only myself with my best friend and doggie, my aussie shepherd, my pup, besos...the "lowest souls" in the western hemisphere all weekend (at times we were close to -300ft below sea level!)
 
this is an eerie landscape formed in the heat and pressure that is very unique to desert surfaces which are markedly below sea level (-285 feet below sea level here)...and pictured here are natural shapes made by a thin layer of salt crystals (similar to ice) that are blanketing over the top of a very silty, slick, and dense mud layer beneath that holds moisture, but still dries out and cracks from the desert's extreme heat in places, and these dry cracks make edges that rise more than the middle parts (much like the edges of brownies or pan cookies) and create seams in the salt layer above it, creating the formations and shapes you see here...
 
what makes this image so starling beautiful is a combination of light sources surrounding me as i stood there transfixed and mesmerized by all i was seeing, truly a gift for my eyes...the salt crystals radiating beneath my feet, the sky glowing with billions of stars overhead, holding me in pure admiration of mother nature...and sharing in this moment with me was my doggie at my feet...a sigh of perfections in an imperfect existence...
 
"take a deep breath, inhaling slowly, counting one thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three, one thousand four...and then slowly exhale counting the same 1001-1002-1003-1004...repeat this 111 times...and i guarantee you will feel better about everything, because you will see that just breathing is heaven..." ― bodhinku, heaven
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MORE QUOTES FOR EXTRA MEANING
this song is literally one of my all time favorite songs, i have danced more times than i can count to this tune, and sang it out loud even more times...its is timeless to me and never gets old, whenever i hear it played on the radio of at a party, or in a bar, or at an event, or just during a playlist on my ipod... "just like heaven" by the cure ... (just click on any of words in the blue links to listen to the musical selection) ... and also here is a most excellent cover with a beautifully lovely feminine voice and touch to it: "just like heaven" by the watson twins (the cure cover) ... (just click on any of words in the blue links to listen to the musical selection) ...
 
"show me, show me, show me how you do that trick, the one that makes me scream she said. the one that makes me laugh she said and threw her arms around my neck. show me how you do it, and i promise you, i promise that i'll run away with you, (i'll run away with you)...spinning on that dizzy edge, i kissed her face and kissed her head. and dreamed of all the different ways i had to make her glow. why are you so far away, she said. why won't you ever know that i'm in love with you, (that i'm in love with you)...you, soft and only, you lost and lonely. you, strange as angels. dancing in the deepest oceans, twisting in the water, you're just like a dream (you're just like a dream)...daylight licked me into shape. i must have been asleep for days. and moving lips to breathe her name, i opened up my eyes. and found myself alone, alone, alone above a raging sea that stole the only girl i loved and drowned her deep inside of me...you, soft and lonely. you, lost and lonely. you, just like heaven..." ― the cure, just like heaven
 
"as you start to walk on the way, the way appears...the art of knowing, is knowing what to ignore" ― siddhartha gautama buddha, the dhammapada
 
"if you are quiet enough, you will hear the flow of the universe. you will feel its rhythm. go with this flow. you will notice things. the path to happiness lies ahead" ― siddhartha gautama buddha, the dhammapada
 
"be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. when you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you" ― lao tzu, tao te ching  
 
"we all travel the milky way together" ― john muir, the mountains of california  
  
"the purpose of light is to create more light, to open people's eyes, to reveal the marvels in the darkness all around" ― paulo coelho, the alchemist   
 
“our heart knows why we are here. whoever listens to his heart, follows the signs, and lives his personal legend, will understand that he is taking part in something, even if he doesn't comprehend it rationally. there is a tradition which says that, the second before our death, we realize the true reason for our existence. and at that moment, heavenly love is born" ― paulo coelho, warrior of the light    
 
"if only one keeps loving faithfully what is truly worth loving, and does not squander one's love on trivial and insignificant and meaningless things, then one will gradually obtain more and more light and grow brighter and stronger" ― vincent van gogh, the letters of vincent  
 
"before getting to the the light, you must pass through a deep darkness" ― nicholas sparks, the notebook 
 
"darkness is an absence of light. ego is an absence of awareness" ― osho, the search  
 
"and the greatest adventure is not going to the moon...the greatest adventure is going to your own innermost core" ― osho, the secret of secrets
 
"fear is natural because one is moving in darkness. the inner journey is very dark. light comes, but that is only at the end. first one has to pass through the tunnel, hence trust is needed" ― osho, beloved of my heart  
 
"o earth! why dost thou not open and engulf them in the fissures of thy vast abyss and caverns, and no longer display in the sight of heaven such a cruel and horrible monster?" ― leonardo da vinci 
 
“the mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heavenly hell, a hellishly heaven...” ― john milton, paradise lost   
 
“the best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature and god. because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that god wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature. as longs as this exists, and it certainly always will, i know that then there will always be comfort for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be. and i firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles..." ― anne frank, the diary of a young girl  
 
"when it comes, you’ll be dreaming
that you don’t need to breathe;
that breathless silence is
the music of the dark
and it’s part of the rhythm
to vanish like a spark" ― wisława szymborska
 
"here's how i sum it up: heaven does nothing, its non-doing is its serenity. earth does nothing, its non-doing is its rest...from the union of these two non-doings, all actions proceed, all things are made. how vast, how invisible, this coming-to-be! all things come from nowhere! how vast, how invisible, no way to explain it! all beings in their perfection are born of non-doing, hence it is said: heaven and earth do nothing, yet there is nothing they do not do" ― thomas merton, the way of chuang tzu
 
“we all want to become more than we are, we want to live forever, that is why we hate death and create a heaven" ― bangambiki habyarimana, pearls of eternity
 
"after death nothing is, and nothing, death, the utmost limit of a gasp of breath. let the ambitious zealot lay aside his hopes of heaven, whose faith is but his pride" ― john wilmot
 
"he carries stars in his pockets
because he knows
she fears the dark.
whenever sadness pays her a visit
he paints galaxies
on the back of her hands" ― alaska gold, growing light  
 
this song is one of the best grunge songs out of the 1990s, so full of deep meaning (r.i.p layne staley), "heaven beside you" by alice in chains ... (just click on any of words in the blue links to listen to the song)...  
 
"be what you wanna be. see what you came to see. been what you wanna be, i don't like what i see. like the coldest winter chill, heaven beside you, hell within. like the coldest winter chill, heaven beside you, hell within. like the coldest winter will, heaven beside you, hell within...and you think you have it still, heaven inside you. so there's problems in your life, that's fucked up, and i'm not blind. i'm just see through faded, super jaded, and out of my mind...do what you wanna do. go out and seek your truth. when i'm down and blue, rather be me than you...like the coldest winter chill, heaven beside you, hell within. like the coldest winter chill, heaven beside you, hell within. like the coldest winter will, heaven beside you, hell within...and you wish you had it still, heaven inside you. so there's problems in your life, that's fucked up, and i'm not blind. i'm just see through faded, super jaded. and out of my mind...like the coldest winter chill, heaven beside you, hell within. like the coldest winter chill, heaven beside you, hell within. like the coldest winter will, heaven beside you, hell within...and you know you have it still, heaven inside you. so there's problems in your life, that's fucked up, but you're not blind. you're just see through faded, overrated and out of your mind" ― alice in chains, heaven beside you
 
"death will come, grief will rain down again and again, and the only way to survive it and remain an alive passionate being is to pay the price of pain every time...it’s always going to hurt. but as long as you’re still capable of suffering you’re still capable of joy. better the depths of hell and heights of heaven than the horror of feeling nothing" ― karen marie moning, kingdom of shadow and light
 
"part of the apparently conventional nature of our relationships is the threat of separation and death. this body dies. that body dies. we can rejuvenate, feel better, live longer, but, even so, in this world everybody dies. that is why we do spiritual practice, because we are conscious of the destiny of our separation. we are willing to fulfill the law of love, but on the other hand what we love dies. that is why this is one of the realms of suffering. this world is not a heaven. this is not a place of fulfillment. thus, we must yield to the true condition. we must not become dependent upon the conventional aspect of our relations. we must recognize our relations. we must identify with the condition of the loved one...you must become established in the real condition, or you will never be satisfied. you will be driven to all kinds of preoccupations and great schemes, trying to become victorious or immortal, for immortality's own sake, simply because you cannot deal with the fact of death. but death is an absolute message in this realm. it obligates us to recognize or identify one another in truth, and we are not relieved of that obligation in this place" ― adi dqa samraj, the eating gorilla comes in peace
 
"when all the stars become a memory
hid in the heart of heaven: when the sun
at last is resting from his weary run,
sinking to glorious silence in the sea
of god's own glory: when the immensity
of nature's universe its fate has won
and its reward: when death to death is done
and deathless being's all that is to be-
my songs shall sing the dirges of the stars" ― joseph mary plunkett, the circle and the sword
 
"there is another language beyond language, another heavenly place beyond heaven. precious gems come from another mine, the heart draws light from another source...what's inside" ― jalaluddin rumi, the soul of rumi
 
"lose yourself, lose yourself in this love...when you lose yourself in this love, you will find everything heavenly...lose yourself, lose yourself. do not fear this loss, for you will rise from the insecure depths inside you, and embrace the endless heavens" ― jalaluddin rumi, the soul of rumi
 
"let the beauty we love be what we do" ― jalaluddin rumi, bridge to the soul
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ABOUT THE IMPRESSION
"metaphorically, life always meets death, and then become some version of heaven..." ― bodhinku, death becomes heaven
     
this impression of a remote part of badwater basin under the arch of the milky way was captured standing in the middle of a vast salt playa in death valley, just after sunset on the night may 9th, 2021, and then a few hours later in the wee hours of the morning on may 10th, 2021...
 
this is a composition comprised of 22 separate exposures, all shot at 24mm (and each in a portrait orientation), all taken in succession of each other on a uniform horizontal plane, in two separate panoramic rows comprised of 11 photos each level (one row of 11 for the milky way arch and one row of 11 for the salt hexagons and surrounding desert scene)...each separate row of 11 images was combined and stitched together using the photomerge function in adobe photoshop cc...then the two separate rows were merged and stitched together into one cohesive composition using again the photomerge function in adobe photoshop cc, creating a single 3:2 full frame image of 22 separate exposures.
 
the individual shots in each separate row of 11 images has the same exact camera settings...
for the 11 of the stars/milky way arch taken at 2:22am on 05/10/2021:
f/1.4 @ 24mm for 13 seconds, iso-1600...
 
in these 11 exposures of the upper row of images of the stars and milky way arch, no filters were needed and thus none were used...  
 
taken 7-1/2 hours earlier than the stars at 7:27pm on 05/09/2021, and captured just a few minutes after the sunset behind me, the 11 exposures of the salt flats and ground up to the horizon...f/11 @ 24mm for 111 seconds, iso-64...
 
in my photography, i always use filters to create longer exposure effects, saturate colors naturally, and balance the light in my composition in-camera. and this composition is no exception...i often use as many as four filters at time, and i always use at least one filter...for this exposure, to get the effects and balance i was looking for, i used two progreyusa filters in the capture of this composition...  
 
the two filters i used in the capture of the lower row of 11 exposures in this composition: a 3.0 nd progrey antarctica filter to bring the post-sunset light in the image down 10 stops to permit for the 11sec exposure and naturally saturate all the blues and reds in the image...combined with a 1.2 reverse gnd progrey aurora filter to help balance in-camera overall the image the way i envisioned it...in this case, to stop down the brighter sunsetting sky an extra four stops and help permit details come out better in each of the 11 exposures in the shadows and the details in the foreground of the salt hexagons...
 
to hold the filters and secure them to my nikon d810 mounted with a nikon nikkor 24mm f/1.4 prime lens, i used the progrey g-120z magnetic holder...
 
with this being a series of 11x2 semi-long exposures put together, an excellent panhead and a stable and sturdy tripod are absolute necessities...i used my faithful induro phq1 series 5-way panhead with tripod...these are necessary in order to keep the 11x2 separate exposed images of each of the two rows in perfect line on the same plane with each other, and in sharp focus in all the places i wanted sharpness...
 
i wish to openly thank my sponsors who have always supported me through both the good and bad times...for truly this long exposure impression would not be possible without the use of an induro phq1 series 5-way panhead and tripod (70" carbon fiber), in combination with the progreyusa filters which i use with every photo i take...
 
"if nothing else...if i open my eyes, if i cry, if i think, if i sigh, if i giggle, if i dance, if i love, if i breathe, then i have lived a full days worth of life...nothing is wasted, nothing" ― bodhinku, if nothing else
 
"i do not want you to just be into my photography, instead, i'd much rather you take a journey into my pictures, and feel the impression i have created, feel it with all your senses" ― bodhinku, into my photography
 
"contemplate without thinking. be certain only in your uncertainty. stop the world. slow down everything. let it all be. shut off the noise. relax. seize this moment. reconnect. feel and sense what surrounds you. listen to all the colors of light whisper as they envelope you. see the melody and harmony that float about unnoticed. taste the solitude of all this wonderment. smell the beautiful silence. now discover your peaceful serenity. then, reach out and touch your faith with all your senses. this is my world. awaken!" ― bodhinku, my world
 
"my photography is my way of keeping a diary" ― bodhinku, my diary  
 
i leave you today wishing that
bright joy and spiritual peace fill your life...
imploring you to make every moment count,
no matter what, always and forever,
for that is the only thing that truly matters...    
 
and above all else,
i hope this message and impression find you well.
 
namaste,
bodhi
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