Bittersweet Symphony by Bodhi Smith

Jun 25, 2021

"bittersweet symphony" a brand new impression and blog from me...
 
"overall my life's quite pleasant, it's been a beautiful musical melody most of the time, with only occasional noisy feedback interrupting the rhythm and harmony...i love to live, yet i do have regrets, and i do suffer at times (like most everybody else). just as every sweet cherry has a pit to it, my life is a bittersweet symphony...but i would not change a single note in the composition" ― bodhinku, bittersweet symphony 
 
pictured here is the old rustic house on the weber homestead in the rolling hills of the palouse farmlands in eastern washington state...i wish to emphasize from the getgo that this image was captured from a zoomed-in point of view looking in a southeast perspective alongside the road, and was not taken from anywhere on the homestead property...
 
this image is proof that it's possible to capture this house from this angle from the road using a long range zoom lens. anyone can get beautiful images with the proper lenses from many different angles without having t0 trespassing on the land around the house which is private property...
 
DO NOT TRESPASS ON THE WEBER LAND. STAY OFF. KEEP OUT. WITNESS THIS GRACEFUL HOUSE FROM THE NEARBY ROADS ONLY...
 
please adhere to the wishes of the weber family that own this property, live on these premises, and make their livelihood farming this land...view and photograph this picturesque scene only from the surrounding public dirt roads...
 
abide by all the no trespassing/keep out signs, ropes and fences on their property. please refrain from the desires to get closer to this house. please follow their simple wishes, and do not trample their fields. be respectful. this is an active farm and foot traffic will damage their crops around the house, plus unnecessarily interrupt their privacy and peace, and also causing the webers who live here further aggravation as they have to take action against people who do not respect their private property and their rights of ownership...
 
now to the blog with some really poignant quotes:
 
"though it's been a while now, i can still feel so much pain. like a knife that cuts you, the wound heals, but the scar, that scar remains...i know i could have saved our love that night if i'd known what to say. instead of makin' love, we both made our separate ways. and now i hear you found somebody new. and that i never meant that much to you. but to hear that tears me up inside, and to see you cuts me like a knife... i guess every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn. just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song, every rose has its thorn" ― poison, every rose has its thorn 

"if i was flying around in outer space looking down at the earth, i'd envision it as one large symphony, with each person on earth being a musician in the symphony. and the instrument they play is their life. everyone's on a quest for meaning in the course of living their life. and people define that meaning in different ways depending on who they are. for a person with a harmonious symphony of life (those that are relatively adjusted and stable) meaning may come easier than those who are not...everyone in the symphony of this world has a different answer based upon the life they live. existence has up’s and downs and will throw a curve at the worst fucking time...a symphony sounds different to each individual because they place their own design to each movement and each musical note. lives of people are no different. individuals place their own design to each aspect of their own lives and others. meaning depends on what an individual has been exposed to..." ― keith kelly, the symphony of life 
 
"experience life in all possible ways...good-bad, bitter-sweet, dark-light, summer-winter. experience all the dualities. don't be afraid of experience, because the more experience you have, the more mature you become" ― osho, the secret of secrets  
 
"i have laughed
more than daffodils
and cried more than june" ― sanober khan, turquoise silence 
 
"there will be other lives...there will be other lives for nervous boys with sweaty palms, for bittersweet fumblings in the backseats of cars, for caps and gowns in royal blue and crimson, for mothers clasping pretty pearl necklaces around daughters' unlined necks, for your full name read aloud in an auditorium, for brand-new suitcases transporting you to strange new people in strange new lands...and there will be other lives for unpaid debts, for one-night stands, for prague and paris, for painful shoes with pointy toes, for indecision and revisions...and there will be other lives for fathers walking daughters down aisles....and there will be other lives for sweet babies with skin like milk...and there will be other lives for a man you don't recognize, for a face in a mirror that is no longer yours, for the funerals of intimates, for shrinking, for teeth that fall out, for hair on your chin, for forgetting everything. everything...oh, there are so many lives. how we wish we could live them concurrently instead of one by one by one. we could select the best pieces of each, stringing them together like a strand of pearls. but that's not how it works. a human's life is a beautiful mess" ― gabrielle zevin, elsewhere
 
this is an alternative new wave song from the 1997, one of my favorite tunes from the 90s. i love its iconic symphonic lead-in to the lyrics, so harmonically perfect that it speaks to you in its own voice without any words and sets up the meaning of the tune before the first word is spoken... and, considering the fact it's named exactly the same as my impression here today, and given its lyrics about how life is up and down and as we try to change with it, in the end we are just who we are...it's the perfect accompaniment to connect music with the meaning of my impression and blog today: "bittersweet symphony" by the verve ... this song was highlighted so wonderfully in the movie, cruel intentions (an up-to-date remake of the acclaimed drama, dangerous liaisons)  "ending on the movie "cruel intentions" with "bittersweet symphony" by the verve ... (just click on any of the words in the blue links to listen to the musical selection)....

"cause it's a bittersweet symphony, that's life. tryna make ends meet, you're a slave to money then you die. i'll take you down the only road i've ever been down. you know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah...no change, i can change, i can change, i can change. but i'm here in my mold. i am here in my mold. but i'm a million different people from one day to the next. i can't change my mold, no, no, no, no, no...(have you ever been down?)...well, i've never prayed but tonight i'm on my knees, yeah. i need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah. i let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, i feel free now but the airwaves are clean and there's nobody singin' to me now...no change, i can change, i can change, i can change. but i'm here in my mold. i am here in my mold and i'm a million different people from one day to the next. i can't change my mold, no, no, no, no, no (have you ever been down?). i can't change, oh, no. i can't change, oh... cause it's a bittersweet symphony, that's life. tryna make ends meet, you're a slave to money then you die. i'll take you down the only road i've ever been down. you know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah...no change, i can change, i can change, i can change. but i'm here in my mold. i am here in my mold. but i'm a million different people from one day to the next. i can't change my mold, no, no, no, no, no .i can't change my mold, no, no, no, no, no. i can't change my mold, no, no, no, no. it's just sex and violence, melody and silence, (it's just sex and violence, melody and silence). i'll take you down the only road i've ever been down (i'll take you down the only road I've ever been down)...been down, ever been down, ever been down, ever been down, ever been down. have you ever been down? have you ever been down? have you ever been down?" ― the verve, bittersweet symphony
 
"just the other day, i was in my neighborhood starbucks, waiting for the post office to open. i was enjoying a chocolatey cafe mocha when it occurred to me that to drink a mocha is to gulp down the entire history of the new world. from the spanish exportation of aztec cacao, and the dutch invention of the chemical process for making cocoa, on down to the capitalist empire of hershey, pennsylvania, and the lifestyle marketing of seattle's starbucks, the modern mocha is a bittersweet concoction of imperialism, genocide, invention, and consumerism served with whipped cream on top" ― sarah vowell
 
"chocolate is most everyone's favorite sweet. so smooth. tasty. it's the truest comfort food for so many. addictive bliss on the taste-buds. but it does have a bitter aftertaste. it's literally bittersweet. still regardless, people just keep taking another bite for its velvety sweetness and pay the bitter no mind....if only people would treat life in this same manner..." ― bodhinku, chocolate (for my auntie irene) 
----------------------
 
MEANING
"if i ever write my memoirs into a book, it will be entitled, bittersweet symphony" ― bodhinku, bittersweet symphony
 
the word "bittersweet" is defined by merriam webster as: "pleasant but including or marked by elements of suffering or regret..."
 
bittersweet is the defining word of my life...i live a great life. i get to see so many beautiful things and experience magical places on this earth. i get to share these times with people through the lens of my camera...my doggie is the best companion i could ever have wished for, i am lucky he chose me...
 
but i do have regrets. mostly the obvious fact that i've no children. no little minnie me's running around with my dna and attitude...that's truly the price i pay for my free-flowing lifestyle behind the lens of my camera. sometimes my life's so lonely and i get lonesome, but sometimes it's so overwhelmingly magical with all i get to experience with my own eyes, that moments take my breath away. when it's all said and done, it's always a good life, with every breath i take.
 
and overall my life is quite pleasant, it's been a beautiful musical melody most of the time, with only occasional noisy feedback interrupting the rhythm and harmony...i love to live, yet i do have regrets, and i do suffer at times (like most everybody else). just as every sweet cherry has a pit to it, my life is a bittersweet symphony...but i would not change a single note in the composition...
 
if i ever write my memoirs into a book, it will be entitled, bittersweet symphony...  
 
this house pictured here also has lived a bittersweet existence, and continues to do so. it's life has been a symphony of ups and downs. it's seen tough times, but also has wonderful memories of families being born, growing up, running and frolicking in the its fields, smelling all the wildflowers in the spring, drinking lemonade in the shade on hot summer days, playing football in the fall as the leaves glow golden yellow orange, sledding in the hills on winter's white powder, and ultimately growing old with a smile...
 
and life is still bittersweet and this house has aged into a rustic picturesque beauty, surrounded by the green rolling hills of the palouse farmlands. but that beauty has a price. and that price is visual notoriety. something that unfortunately brings in disrespectful people with big inconsiderate egos caring only for themselves, oblivious to the damage they are causing around them with their greedy selfish acts...wanting that picture at any cost, willing to do anything to get it. willing to break the rules and illegally trample the surrounding fields just to get that photo and put it on instagram/facebook so they can earn other people's notice and get rewarded with "likes" and fake popularity...so they then can move on like a ruthless locust to the next unsuspecting beautiful location and ruin it with their self-serving obsessions...
 
so, i am going to repeat this again: 
 
DO NOT TRESPASS ON THE WEBER LAND. STAY OFF. KEEP OUT. WITNESS THIS GRACEFUL HOUSE FROM THE NEARBY ROADS ONLY
 
and here is one of my favorite rock ballads from the glam-bands of the late 1980's....i absolutely love the lyrics about love and regret, and how wonderfully bret michaels sings them to the melodic and crying guitars of poison in the background...a beautiful bittersweet tune if ever a song was written "every rose has its thorn" by poison ... (just click on any of words in the blue links to listen to the musical selection) ...

"we both lie silently still in the dead of the night. although we both lie close together, we feel miles apart inside. was it something i said, or something i did? did the words not come out right? though i tried not to hurt you, though i tried...but i guess that's why they say every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn. just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song, every rose has its thorn. yeah it does...i listen to our favorite song playing on the radio. hear the deejay say loves a game of easy come and easy go. but i wonder, does he know? has he ever felt like this? and i know that you'd be here right now if i could have let you know somehow...i guess, every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn. just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song, every rose has its thorn...though it's been a while now, i can still feel so much pain. like a knife that cuts you, the wound heals, but the scar, that scar remains...i know i could have saved our love that night if i'd known what to say. instead of makin' love, we both made our separate ways. and now i hear you found somebody new. and that i never meant that much to you. but to hear that tears me up inside, and to see you cuts me like a knife... i guess every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn. just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song, every rose has its thorn" ― poison, every rose has its thorn 
 
"i'm still me, that's my only problem, but that's also my biggest gift (that i'm still me)" ― bodhinku, i'm still me 
----------------------
 
STORY BEHIND THIS IMPRESSION
"life is still bittersweet and this house has aged into a rustic picturesque beauty, surrounded by the green rolling hills of the palouse farmlands. but that beauty has a price. and that price is visual notoriety. something that unfortunately brings in disrespectful people with big inconsiderate egos caring only for themselves" ― bodhinku, bittersweet
 
pictured here is the old rustic house on the weber homestead in the rolling hills of the palouse farmlands in eastern washington state...
 
DO NOT TRESPASS ON THE WEBER LAND. STAY OFF. KEEP OUT AND WITNESS THIS GRACEFUL HOUSE FROM THE NEARBY ROADS ONLY... 
 
this house was built in 1901 by the weber family on top of the old foundation and original oak tree supports of the log cabin first built on the property in 1863...
 
the land was earned by the weber family by participating in the national homestead act of 1863 which awarded 160 acres to farmers as a huge incentive to those who were willing to move westward and settle in and cultivate the newer parts of america at the time...
 
the webers still own the land, still own the original deed issued by the federal government through the homestead act in 1963...and they still actively farm the land, and they still reside on the property in a newer house (built in the 1960s) a few hundred meters away from the original homestead pictured here... 
 
karla weber, is the current resident of the property and the great grandaughter of her family members who built this house (and in which her grandfather was born). she is supper kind and very forthcoming, and she truly only asks that visitors, especially photographers, respect the family wishes and do not trespass onto their property (without permission first) because foot traffic will trample the fields they have around the old homestead and take away from their livelihood of farming and result in lost money in the resulting damaged crops, some of which like chick peas and young wheat (growing in the picture) are very delicate...
 
so please abide by the erected ropes and signs and fences at the edges of her property and only photograph from the roads, and not from the fields around the house...you can get beautiful views of the house from all angles using various lenses from like a 24-70mm, and a 70mm-200mm, and a 200-500mm (the lenses i used)...please respect her wishes as she dislikes having to take action against all of the people who violate her simple wishes...
 
and here is a song that is so beautifully sung, its delicate, poetic, sad, yet hopeful all at the same time: "bittersweet" by elle goulding ... (just click on any of words in the blue links to listen to the musical selection) ...

"your arms around me come undone. makes my heart beat like a drum. see the panic in my eyes. kiss me only when you cry. because you always want what you're running from. and you know this is more than you can take. baby don't forget my name when the morning breaks us. baby please don't look away when the morning breaks us...oh your touch, so bittersweet, ah. baby don't forget my name when the morning breaks us...your cheek is softly by the sun. makes my heart beat like a drum. i know it hurts you, i know it burns you. hot and cold in a lonely hotel room. look into me, tell me why you're crying, i need to know. because you always want what you're running from. and it's always been that way, oh. baby don't forget my name when the morning breaks us. baby please don't look away when the morning breaks us. oh your touch, so bittersweet, ah. baby don't forget my name when the morning breaks us...because you always want what you're running from. baby don't forget my name when the morning breaks us. baby please don't look away when the morning breaks us. oh your touch, so bittersweet, ah, baby don't forget my name when the morning breaks us" ― elle goulding, bittersweet 
 
"this house pictured here has lived a bittersweet existence, and continues to do so. it's life has been a symphony of ups and downs. it's seen tough times, but also has wonderful memories of families being born, growing up, and growing old" ― bodhinku, bittersweet symphony 
---------------------
 
MORE BODHIKU QUOTES
and now here are a few more quotes from bodhinku from past blogs to help add to the deeper meaning of this blog today...
 
"embracing life's turbulences is easy as acknowledging that you're still standing after it's all said and done, still able to breath and take that next breath and enjoy life, still able to continue to make every moment count" ― bodhinku, still standing
 
"when you cannot have exactly want you want, be happy with what you have, focus on the positive instead of what is not possible right now...persevere with hope and continue to dream, believe that one day you will finally have that which you have always wanted" ― bodhinku, persevere
 
"let her be. let her be in heart, spirit, and body. let her be free. and let everything be love" ― bodhinku, let it be love 
 
"in this time of crisis, he was amazed he was still standing, and really did not need to buy any extra supplies...he had everything he needed, his health, his doggie, his hope...the only thing he was missing was her..." ― bodhinku, the missing supply 
 
 "she was a tornado that blew through his life, destroying everything he held dear. but when the skies cleared and she was all gone, he was still standing. he was still breathing and knew he needed his life devastated so he could move on and rebuild his world so much better... " ― bodhinku, still standing
 
"after all the hardships we face, always love is still standing there before us, it's people who walk away" ― bodhinku, still standing  
 
"my god, as mother nature and father time weather me unforgivingly, i can only hope i grow old so gracefully as this home has..." ― bodhinku, still standing
----------------------
 
MORE QUOTES FOR EXTRA MEANING
and here's another meaningful tune from the 1990s to give a listen ... "bittersweet" by big head todd & the monsters ... (just click on the blue link to listen to the song) 

"a little light looks through her bedroom window. she dances and i dream, she's not so far as she seems of brighter meadows, melting sunsets. her hair blowing in the breeze and she can't see me watching and i'm thinking love, love, love, love...it's bittersweet. more sweet than bitter, more bitter than sweet. it's a bittersweet surrender. it's bittersweet, more sweet than bitter, bitter than sweet...it's a bittersweet surrender...i'm older now. i work in the city. we live together, but it's different than my dream. morning light fills the room, i rise. she pretends she's sleeping. are we everything we wanted? and i'm thinking love, love, love, love...it's bittersweet. more sweet than bitter, bitter than sweet. it's a bittersweet surrender. it's bittersweet, more sweet than bitter, bitter than sweet...it's a bittersweet surrender...i know we don't talk about it. we don't tell each other all the little things that we need. we work our way around each other as we tremble and we bleed, as we tremble and we bleed...it's bittersweet. more sweet than bitter, more bitter than sweet. it's a bittersweet surrender. it's bittersweet, more sweet than bitter, more bitter than sweet...it's a bittersweet surrender" ― big head todd & the monsters, bittersweet
 
"our individuality is all that we have. there are those who barter it for security, those who repress it for what they believe is the betterment of the whole society. but blessed be in the twinkle of the morning star, the one who nurtures it and rides it in, in grace and love and wit, from peculiar station to peculiar station along life's bittersweet route" ― tom robbins, jitterbug perfume
 
"live a life abundant in love and rich in spirit, these are the seeds of a fulfilling existence. be the safe harbor you seek in the world. follow your dreams, not your fears...don't let the chains of unforgiveness weigh you down. life is too short to live in a prison of past hurts...life is bittersweet, when we can let darkness and light co-exist as illumination, we can live in true happiness. when we live life at its best, it is a symphony of feelings, of high and low notes, of tragedy and comedy, love and loss, magic and the sublime. it can be quite a spectacular journey when we fully embrace and accept it" ― jaeda dewalt
 
"happiness. simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. bitter. sweet. alive" ― joanne harris, chocolat
 
"memories, even bittersweet ones, are better than nothing" ― jennifer l. armentrout, onyx
 
"a part of my appreciation for the good which moments bring has come from awareness and recognition. but it has also come from a corresponding sadness which arises from their passing. when something that can never quite be reenacted comes to an end (and all moments are that way), i feel a pensiveness within. this pensiveness gives my life a quality that might be best described as bittersweet. and those moments take on double meaning and richness - because they are here now - and because they will not always be" ― bob benson
 
"now that i have opened that bottle of memories they're pouring out like wine, crimson and bittersweet" ― ellen hopkins, impulse
 
"our sweetest songs are those of saddest thought" ― percy bysshe shelley, the complete poems
 
"wounds heal. scars fade. awful memories can be overwritten with better ones if given the chance. the little imperfections of our psyches become overshadowed by the people whose love we cherish because they cherish us despite our faults; physical, emotional, spiritual, or otherwise. this thing we call the human condition with all its bittersweet blind corners and senseless humor evolves from within ourselves and not because of some pre-ordained reverie we desire to cast in the constellations...all in all, it is what makes life worth living" ― august clearwing, never have i ever
 
"the bittersweet about truth is that nothing could be more hurtful, yet nothing could be more helpful" ― mike norton, just another war story
 
"i envy the music lovers hear. i see them walking hand in hand, standing close to each other in a queue at a theater or subway station, heads touching while they sit on a park bench, and i ache to hear the song that plays between them: the stirring chords of romance's first bloom, the stately airs that whisper between a couple long in love. you can see it in the way they look at each other...you can almost hear it. almost, but not quite, because the music belongs to them and all you can have of it is a vague echo that rises up from the bittersweet murmur and shuffle of your own memories" ― charles de lint, moonlight and vines
 
"when i desire you
a part of me
is gone" ― anne carson, eros the bittersweet
 
"i'm thinking of how unexpected and yet oddly preordained life can be. events are upon you in an instant, unforeseen and without warning, and often times marked with disappointment and tragedy, but equally often leading to a better understanding of the bittersweet truth of life" ― rob lowe, stories i only tell my friends
----------------------
 
ABOUT THE IMPRESSION
"bittersweet is the defining word of my life...i live a great life. i get to see so many beautiful things and experience magical places on this earth. i get to share these times with people through the lens of my camera...but i do have regrets" ― bodhinku, bittersweet symphony    
 
this impression was captured alongside a dirt road in the rolling hills of the palouse farmlands in western washington state on a windless morning just as the sun was rising at 5:35am on june 9th, 2021...this composition is comprised of two separate exposures taken on the palouse...one long exposure of the homestead surrounded by young wheat from a zoomed in perspective (f/11@200mm for 111 secs, iso-64)... merged with a star-tracked long exposure (f'/4@70mm for 444 secs, iso-400)... 
 
in my photography, i always use filters to create longer exposure effects, saturate colors naturally, and balance the light in my composition in-camera...i often use as many as four filters at time, and i always use at least one filter in my completed impressions...
 
and to get the effects and balance i was looking for in the homestead exposure of this composition (f/11@200mm for 111 secs, iso-64), i used two progreyusa filters...
 
first, a 3.0 nd progrey antarctica filter to bring the light in the image down 10 stops and permit for the long 1 minute and 51 second exposure which naturally saturates all the blues and greens in the image (i would not have been able to use this filter if the wind was blowing, or the wheat in the image would be blurred severely)...
 
combined with the second filter, a 0.9 gnd progrey aurora filter to help balance in-camera overall the image the way i envisioned it...in this case, to stop down the much brighter light in the sky, the pre-dawn light, an extra three stops and help permit details in the shadows in the lower parts of the house and amongst all the wheat in the foreground to come out better in the exposure... 
 
i also used the progrey g-120z magnetic holder to hold the filters and secure the filters to my nikon d850 with a nikon nikkor 70-200mm f/2.8 lens ... 
 
for the separate exposure of the stars i used a vixen optics polarie star tracker with tripod...this permitted me to be able to capture a much longer exposure of the stars and not have any star trails, which also gives such beautiful enrichment to all the colors in the night sky while at the same time permitting a much lower iso setting and thus so much less noise (f/4@70mm for 444secs, iso-400), and no filters were necessary in the star exposure, so none were used...
 
i wish to openly thank my sponsors who have always supported me through both the good and bad times...for truly this long exposure impression would not be possible without the use of my faithful induro phq3 series 5-way panhead with tripod, in combination with the progreyusa filters which i use with every photo i take...
 
"if nothing else...if i open my eyes, if i cry, if i think, if i sigh, if i giggle, if i dance, if i love, if i breathe, then i have lived a full days worth of life...nothing is wasted, nothing" ― bodhinku, if nothing else
 
"i do not want you to just be into my photography, instead, i'd much rather you take a journey into my pictures, and feel the impression i have created, feel it with all your senses" ― bodhinku, into my photography
 
"contemplate without thinking. be certain only in your uncertainty. stop the world. slow down everything. let it all be. shut off the noise. relax. seize this moment. reconnect. feel and sense what surrounds you. listen to all the colors of light whisper as they envelope you. see the melody and harmony that float about unnoticed. taste the solitude of all this wonderment. smell the beautiful silence. now discover your peaceful serenity. then, reach out and touch your faith with all your senses. this is my world. awaken!" ― bodhinku, my world
 
"my photography is my way of keeping a diary" ― bodhinku, my diary  
 
i leave you today wishing that bright joy 
and spiritual peace fill your life...
imploring you to make every moment count, 
no matter what, always and forever, 
for that is the only thing that truly matters...    
 
and above all else,
i hope this message and impression find you well.
 
namaste,
bodhi
-------------------------------------------------
 
please visit me at:
 
#inspiration #palouse #washington #progreyusa #induro #vixen #polarie #nikon #d850 #lowepro #columbia #rustic #farm #green #wheat #homestead #wild #west #stars #milky #way #astrophotography #bittersweet #silence #believe #dream #faith #namaste #impressionist #expressionist #surreal #minimalism #bodhinku #osho