All Aboard by Bodhi Smith

Apr 16, 2021

"all aboard" a brand new impression and blog from me...
     
"sometimes i feel i'm all aboard on a train all alone, headed no place. down the wrong way on one-way tracks into a pointless nothingness, neither here nor there...but night falls, and i step off the train in my middle of nowhere. i look up into the night sky and i feel i have arrived, i'm where i need to be, where i belong. a tear leaves a trail on my cheek..." ― bodhinku, all aboard all alone
 
"cherish your solitude. take trains by yourself to places you have never been. sleep out alone under the stars. go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back" ― eve ensler, the vagina monologues
 
"everything's cut and dry...day and night, earth and sky, but somehow i just don't believe it...runaway train never going back, wrong way on a one way track. seems like i should be getting somewhere, somehow i'm neither here nor there..." ― soul asylum, runaway train
 
"i am a traveler going somewhere and to some destination...only the somewhere and the destination do not exist" ― vincent van gogh 
 
"the three most exciting sounds in the world...anchor chains, plane motors, and train whistles" ― george baily (jimmy stewart), it's a wonderful life 
 
"dwell on the beauty of life. watch the stars, and see yourself running with them" 
― marcus aurelius, meditations
 
"we'll see a light to lead us all the way home, and wherever we go we will know, here we are, under the stars...all the love was holding on all of us, no matter what we've done, we are not alone, alone with our heart. we are one under the stars. here we are, under the stars" ― john legend, under the stars
 
"i often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day...and i don't know much of anything with certainty, but seeing the stars makes me dream" ― vincent van gogh   
 
"to have meaning, the darkness needs the love of the light, just as the light needs the love of darkness, nothing else matters except them together...without their union, no impression of mine could ever exist, nor could i either..." ― bodhinku, the union  
 
this first song begins with the classic intro that so many of us in generation x have heard a thousand times but still never get tired of, and those words are the very title of my impression here "all aboard"...then the song proceeded to become a heavy hitting raucous song from one of the true bad-boys of rock, here is "crazy train" by ozzy osbourne ... i sound old, but they just do not make good rollicking rocking songs like this anymore...(just click on any of words in the blue links to listen to the song)...  

"all aboard...ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay...crazy, but that's how it goes. millions of people living as foes. maybe it's not too late to learn how to love and forget how to hate. mental wounds not healing, life's a bitter shame. i'm going off the rails on a crazy train, i'm going off the rails on a crazy train...let's go. i've listened to preachers. i've listened to fools. i've watched all the dropouts who make their own rules. one person conditioned to rule and control, the media sells it, and you live the role...mental wounds still screaming, driving me insane, i'm going off the rails on a crazy train, i'm going off the rails on a crazy train...i know that things are going wrong for me, you gotta listen to my words, yeah. heirs of a cold war, that's what we've become. inheriting troubles, i'm mentally numb. crazy, i just cannot bear. i'm living with something that just isn't fair...mental wounds not healing, who and what's to blame? i'm going off the rails on a crazy train, i'm going off the rails on a crazy train. ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, the ledge, ha-ha, the edge" ― ozzy osbourne, crazy train
 
"i was born to dream amidst her stars, to awaken and drink the dew from her flowers, then walk barefoot in the sands of her sunshine days" ― bodhinku, barefoot
 
"i'm always so drained the next day from staying up all night to be under the stars. but i'm at my best and brightest under the stars, truly happy. i'll not leave them, they have to leave me when the daylight dawns...and then i'm left feeling so fulfilled that next day, regardless of my lethargy" ― bodhinku, up all night  
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MEANING
"focusing upward at night and staring at the milky way is like taking a train ride back into the depths of time. in those endless pinpoints of light are timeless sunbeams. and within those stars are the words of the universe, and some of those words are mine. i am haunted by the stars..." ― bodhinku, all aboard  

the remotest parts of the mojave desert in california have been treating me splendidly lately, helping me to discover new and unique compositions, an endless menu of things no one else has yet to capture with their camera. fresh first time visions of our world never witnessed before, and impressions that will be awfully hard for other egoistic copycats to recreate while trying to find my treadmarks and walk in my shoes...
 
about a month ago, i drove directly past this spot with a beautiful train on railroad tracks in a perfect orientation of east to west for early season milky way impressions...however, my focus and obsessions directed upon another remote location of sand dunes (for my previous image, "immersion")....
 
i was simply thinking the train with locomotives attached (rare to see this) that i espied on the tracks was discarded and would be there for quite some time to come, and that i would have plenty of time to capture the vision in my mind's eye of this train under the milky way...but, damn it, i was wrong!  because two days later when i came back through this area, the train had disappeared...i deeply regretted not taking the opportunity to shoot the beautiful vision of the train under a full milkyway arch that i had in my mind's eye...
 
fast forward to this past weekend...while i was driving again with besos (my pup) to the same remote location in the mojave, this time with good friend and awesome fellow photographer chip morton, i was mentioning my regrets for skipping the shooting of that train i saw in the middle of nowhere. i told him that if i had to do over again, i would not hesitate and stop to take pictures of the train. i just hoped oneday i would get the opportunity again...
 
and low and behold, two hours later, we came across another train in almost the same spot. and again it was complete with two locomotives attached sitting on these tracks with the perfect east-to-west orientation. it was just sitting there. just waiting. its diesel engines were still running, headlight glowing. the train was just sitting there idling on these isolated tracks in the middle of the desert, waiting for its turn to go when ever and wherever it was needed...all the while posing for me, like it wanted me to take its picture under the stars...
 
i will never have the same regret two times, i will not let the same lost opportunity happen twice in my life...
 
we got my jeep 4x4 over beside the train. really up close and personal. it was nearing sunset, so i waited, and hoped that the train would not decide to take off (although i took a few contrasty backup images with the sun bright in the sky with way to many shadows just in case the train did)...i continued to wait for the sun to finally disappear for the night, never knowing when this train was going to finally depart it's station in the middle of nowhere...the sun set and i got my blue hour shots of the train that i needed and wanted, to be accompanied by the full pano of the milky way arch over top of the tracks later in the wee morning hours of this night...the train never left until after the sunrise with the beginning of tomorrow...
 
i got a second chance to take my impression, and here it is today, hope that you love it...
 
and as i was taking these pictures (22 different exposures in all, see the "about this impression" section below for more details), i had plenty of time to think about the meaning of this train in the middle of nowhere, its deeper meaning to me and why i was so enamoured with it, fascinated with it, wanting to capture it artistically with my camera, creating an outward expression of my feelings and emotions for others to see in the form of a photographic impression...
 
lately melancholy has been gripping me, i feel so lonely these days, getting older and older, with only my doggie besos and the ticking of the clock to keep me company...sometimes i feel i'm all aboard on a train all alone, headed no place. down the wrong way on one-way tracks into a pointless nothingness, neither here nor there...but night falls, and i step off the train in my middle of nowhere. i look up into the night sky and i feel i have arrived, i'm where i need to be, where i belong. a tear leaves a trail on my cheek...  
 
focusing upward at night and staring at the milky way is like taking a train ride back into the depths of time. in those endless pinpoints of light are timeless sunbeams. within those stars are the words of the universe, and some of those words are mine. i am haunted by the stars... 
 
and seriously...my god, wouldn't it be so dreamy if we could just hop on a train and journey into the stars while we are alive?
 
my favorite artist, vincent van gogh was obsessed with this idea, that we should not have to wait until we are dead to be able to journey to the stars...
 
"looking at the stars always makes me dream, as simply as i dream over the black dots representing towns and villages on a map. why, i ask myself, shouldn’t the shining dots of the sky be as accessible as the black dots on the map? just as we take a train to get to another city, we take death to reach a star. we cannot get to a star while we are alive any more than we can take the train when we are dead. so to me it seems possible that diseases like cancer are the celestial means of locomotion. just as steamboats, buses and railways are the terrestrial means...to die quietly of old age would be to go to these places on foot" ― vincent van gogh    
 
i think maybe being out in the middle of nowhere, under that stars is the closest i can get to visiting the stars while i'm still alive. it's my way of taking a train ride to the milky way...the stars give me solace, keep me company and make me feel at home, at peace. that's the bottom line of all importance. and probably the reason why i go out to remote locations at night so often, and take so many pictures of the stars, up all night long with my camera...
 
i'm always so drained the next day from staying up all night to be under the stars. but i'm at my best and brightest under the stars, truly happy. i will not leave them, they have to leave me when the daylight dawns...and then i'm left feeling so fulfilled that next day, regardless of my lethargy...
 
my mind floats back to comfortable inner peace. life is good, its okay to be alone, it is the path i need to follow right now, my path alone, it's mine alone...it's my journey to live, live my life before i have to crossover into the unknown and really take that celestial locomotive to the stars one day in the distant future (hopefully distant)...
 
"in the darkness of the night i find my path to peace as the stars flower my world with angelic beauty...it is in the light of day that i am tormented and lost, as the sunshine bedevils me, and bleaches out all of my dreams with its blinding reality" ― bodhinku, bedevilled
 
this next song is a classic from the mid 1990s alternative genre and is one of my favorite songs ever written....i knew i was going to use this song in my blog when i was taking the images to create this impression, and maybe someday you might be unlucky enough to hear me sing it on stage with a friend's band or at a karaoke bar, given enough liquid libations and encouragement...it's the perfect accompaniment to connect music with the meaning of my impression and blog today: "runaway train" by soul asylum ... (just click on any of the words in the blue links to listen to the musical selection)....

"call you up in the middle of the night, like a firefly without a light. you were there like a slow torch burning, i was a key that could use a little turning. so tired that i couldn't even sleep. so many secrets i couldn't keep. promised myself i wouldn't weep one more promise i couldn't keep. it seems no one can help me now, i'm in too deep. there's no way out, this time i have really led myself astray...runaway train never going back, wrong way on a one way track. seems like i should be getting somewhere, somehow i'm neither here nor there...can you help me remember how to smile? make it somehow all seem worthwhile. how on earth did i get so jaded? life's mystery seems so faded. i can go where no one else can go, i know what no one else knows. here i am just drownin' in the rain with a ticket for a runaway train. everything is cut and dry, day and night, earth and sky, but somehow i just don't believe it...runaway train never going back, wrong way on a one way track. seems like i should be getting somewhere, somehow i'm neither here nor there...bought a ticket for a runaway train, like a madman laughin' at the rain, little out of touch, little insane, just easier than dealing with the pain...runaway train never comin' back, wrong way on a one way track. seems like i should be getting somewhere, somehow I'm neither here nor there...runaway train never comin' back, runaway train tearin' up the track, runaway train burnin' in my veins. runaway, but it always seems the same" ― soul asylum, runaway train  
 
"i really need to be illuminated daily by things that are inspiring to me, things than make me smile, giggle, and glow from my deepest depths...illuminating my inner shadows, those hidden dark parts of me, personal secrets that make me who i am, even if i am not proud of them" ― bodhinku, illuminated   
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MORE BODHIKU QUOTES
and now here are a few more quotes from bodhinku from past blogs to help add to the deeper meaning of this blog today...
 
"i dream my photograph, and i photograph my dream..." ― bodhinku, my dream   
 
"under the stars i have all the light i need, all night long they illuminate my world. bringing me out of my darkness. i can see all i need to see, as i embrace this fairytale all through the night. and until it ends, there is no end..." ― bodhinku, all through the night        
 
"when we look up into the starry sky, nothing is a giant part of all we see above. but thinking about the emptiness of that nothing is scary, because this vast void of nothingness makes up most of our universe. creating an innate fear of darkness and the unknown, a huge fear of "the nothing"...so, maybe that is why so many people are blindly blowing everything out of proportion and making such a huge ado over nothing these days" ― bodhinku, huge ado over nothing
 
"sitting here on this night, under this glowing milky way, i feel so utterly lost in silence...and at the same time, i'm found, knowing my meaning is written somewhere into all those billions of stars above me" ― bodhinku, written somewhere
 
"i lived a lifetime of happiness in one just night...all night long just being, just breathing and just letting go...truly living and experiencing life, so unexpected, just letting moments take my breath away" ― bodhinku, just 
 
"in sweet silence of the star light, i see her radiance glowing bright above, i feel her angelic innocence, i play in her magical wilderness...i know my focus is always up to her" ― bodhinku, bright above 
 
"for me, zen is being in nature, surrounded by all i love...getting out of my mind, and into my own true nature instead" ― bodhinku, zen to me  
 
"there's a secret current behind the stars that carries you to the end of you" ― bodhinku, secret of the stars     
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MORE QUOTES FOR EXTRA MEANING
this next tune fits so absolutely perfectly with this blog, i would be totally remiss if it was not included here...it's a song about journeys of thoughts through the stars and the milky way, combined with exploring our inner sanctum as well. it's the very first hit from an iconic band named "train" who is also from california, so of course that all fits perfectly as well..."drops of jupiter" by train ... (just click on any of the words in the blue links to listen to the musical selection) ...
 
"now that she's back in the atmosphere with drops of Jupiter in her hair, she acts like summer and walks like rain, reminds me that there's a time to change. since the return from her stay on the moon, she listens like spring and she talks like june...but tell me, did you sail across the sun? did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded and that heaven is overrated? tell me, did you fall for a shooting star–one without a permanent scar? and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?...now that she's back from that soul vacation, tracing her way through the constellation, she checks out mozart while she does tae-bo, reminds me that there's room to grow...now that she's back in the atmosphere, i'm afraid that she might think of me as plain ol' jane, told a story about a man who was too afraid to fly so he never did land...but tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet? did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day and head back to the milky way? and tell me, did venus blow your mind? was it everything you wanted to find? and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?...can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken? your best friend always sticking up for you even when i know you're wrong? can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance, five-hour phone conversation, the best soy latte that you ever had and me?? but tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet? did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day and head back toward the milky way? and tell me, did you sail across the sun? did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded and that heaven is overrated? and tell me, did you fall for a shooting star-one without a permanent scar? and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself?...and did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day? and did you fall for a shooting star, fall for a shooting star? and now you're lonely looking for yourself out there" ― train, drops of jupiter 
 
"you will never be happy if you search for happiness" ― gautama siddhartha buddha, sayings of buddha   
 
"you will never live if you are always looking for the meaning of life" ― confucius  
 
"we all travel the milky way together" ― john muir, the mountains of california 
 
"tie your heart at night to mine, love,
and both will defeat the darkness
like twin drums beating in the forest
against the heavy wall of wet leaves.

night crossing: black coal of dream
that cuts the thread of earthly orbs
with the punctuality of a headlong train
that pulls cold stone and shadow endlessly.

love, because of it, tie me to a purer movement,
to the grip on life that beats in your breast,
with the wings of a submerged swan,

so that our dream might reply
to the sky's questioning stars
with one key, one door closed to shadow." ― pablo neruda, 100 love sonnets
 
"long since, the desert wind wiped away our footprints in the sand. but at every second of my existence, just like the stars are bright in the sky, i remember what happened, and you still walk in my dreams and in my reality. thank you for having crossed my path" ― paulo coelho, the fifth mountain
 
"even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise" ― victor hugo, les miserables    
 
"i'm the train at night, the one careening out of control. because sometimes you see yourself, you see yourself the way you could be, the way you might be if things were different. and if you look too closely, what you see will scare you, it'll make you wonder what you might do given the opportunity. you know there's a different side of yourself you don't want to recognize, a side you don't want to see in the daylight. you spend your whole life doing everything to push it down and away, out of sight, out of mind. you pretend that a piece of yourself doesn't exist...you live like that for a long time. for a long time, you're safe. and then you're not" ― tahereh mafi, unravel me  
 
"every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad" ― henry wadsworth longfellow, evangeline: a tale of acadie  
 
"when i was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. when i went to school, they asked me what i wanted to be when i grew up. i wrote down ‘happy’. they told me i didn’t understand the assignment, and i told them they didn’t understand life" ― john lennon
 
"i hear the train a comin', it's rolling round the bend, and i ain't seen the sunshine since i don't know when..." ― johnny cash, folsom prison blues
 
"it's like stepping into a fairy tale under a curtain of stars" ― erin morgenstern, the night circus  
 
"people should fall in love more. fall in love with the way your coffee swirls as soon as you pour the milk in. fall in love with the look your dog gives you when you wake up. fall in love with the rare moment when your cat doesn’t ignore you. fall in love with the person who tells you to have a good day. fall in love with the waiter who gives you extra chili fries. fall in love with sweaters in winter and cold lemonade in summer. fall in love with the moment your head hits the pillow. fall in love with talking to someone until 4 a.m. fall in love with the days you can hit the snooze button over and over again. fall in love when a lover stares at you for five hours. fall in love with the stars when they look at you. fall in love with the sound of someone breathing. fall in love with the bus if it’s on time or the train if it comes early. fall in love with everything possible" ― courtney peppernell, pillow thoughts
 
"cherish your solitude. take trains by yourself to places you have never been. sleep out alone under the stars. go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back" ― eve ensler, the vagina monologues
 
"look up; notice how the stars shine. look in; notice how the stars shine" ― laura jaworski 
 
"only from the heart can you touch the stars in the sky" ― jalaluddin rumi 
 
"you know how it is. sometimes we plan a trip to one place, but something takes us to another" ― jalaluddin rumi, a year with rumi  
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ABOUT THE IMPRESSION
"my god, wouldn't it be so dreamy if we could just hop on a train and journey into the stars while we are alive?" ― bodhinku, all aboard
 
this impression was captured standing in the middle these train tracks, in the middle of the mojave desert, staring down a running locomotive in the middle of the night and morning on april 10, 2021...
 
this is a composition comprised of 22 separate exposures, all shot at 24mm (and each in a portrait orientation), all taken in succession of each other on a uniform horizontal plane, in two separate panoramic rows comprised of 11 photos each level (one row of 11 for the milky way arch and one row of 11 for locomotive, train tracks and surrounding desert scene)...each separate row of 11 images was combined and stitched together using the photomerge function in adobe photoshop cc...then the two separate rows were merged and stitched together into one cohesive composition using again the photomerge function in adobe photoshop cc, creating a single 2:1 panoramic image of 22 separate exposures
 
the individual shots in each separate row of 11 images has the same exact camera settings...
 
for the 11 of the stars/milky way arch taken at 3:33am:
f/1.4 @ 24mm for 11 seconds, iso-2000...
 
and captured just a few minutes after the sunset behind me taken 8-1/2 hours earlier at 7:17pm,
the 11 of the train, the tracks and the desert foreground:
f/11 @ 24mm for 11 seconds, iso-64...
 
in my photography, i always use filters to create longer exposure effects, saturate colors naturally, and balance the light in my composition in-camera. and this composition is no exception...i often use as many as four filters at time, and i always use at least one filter...for this exposure, to get the effects and balance i was looking for, i used two progreyusa filters in the capture of this composition...  
 
the two filters i used in the capture of the lower row of 11 exposures in this composition: a 3.0 nd progrey antarctica filter to bring the post-sunset light in the image down 10 stops to permit for the 11sec exposure and naturally saturate all the blues and reds in the image...combined with a 1.2 reverse gnd progrey aurora filter to help balance in-camera overall the image the way i envisioned it...in this case, to stop down the brighter train headlight, along with the brighter sunsetting sky an extra four stops and help permit details come out better in each of the 11 exposures in the shadows and the details in the railroad tracks in the foreground...
 
in the 11 exposures of the upper row of images of the stars and milky way arch, no filters were needed and thus none were used...
 
to hold the filters and secure them to my nikon d810 mounted with a nikon nikkor 24mm f/1.4 prime lens, i used the progrey g-120z magnetic holder...
 
with this being a series of 11x2 semi-long exposures put together, an excellent panhead and a stable and sturdy tripod are absolute necessities...i used my faithful induro phq1 series 5-way panhead with tripod...these are necessary in order to keep the 11x2 separate exposed images of each of the two rows in perfect line on the same plane with each other, and in sharp focus in all the places i wanted sharpness...
 
i wish to openly thank my sponsors who have always supported me through both the good and bad times...for truly this long exposure impression would not be possible without the use of my faithful induro phq1 series 5-way panhead and tripod (70" carbon fiber), in combination with the progreyusa filters which i use with every photo i take...
 
"if nothing else...if i open my eyes, if i cry, if i think, if i sigh, if i giggle, if i dance, if i love, if i breathe, then i have lived a full days worth of life...nothing is wasted, nothing" ― bodhinku, if nothing else
 
"i do not want you to just be into my photography, instead, i'd much rather you take a journey into my pictures, and feel the impression i have created, feel it with all your senses" ― bodhinku, into my photography
 
"contemplate without thinking. be certain only in your uncertainty. stop the world. slow down everything. let it all be. shut off the noise. relax. seize this moment. reconnect. feel and sense what surrounds you. listen to all the colors of light whisper as they envelope you. see the melody and harmony that float about unnoticed. taste the solitude of all this wonderment. smell the beautiful silence. now discover your peaceful serenity. then, reach out and touch your faith with all your senses. this is my world. awaken!" ― bodhinku, my world
 
"my photography is my way of keeping a diary" ― bodhinku, my diary 
 
i leave you today wishing that bright joy and spiritual peace fill your life...
imploring you to make every moment count, no matter what,
always and forever, for that is the only thing that truly matters...    
 
and above all else,
i hope this message and impression find you well.
 
namaste,
bodhi
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